Same Place, Different Time
by Anony-Mousy
Summary: Set approximately 7 years after 'Endings and Beginnings'. Life has moved on... There are new faces in the bullpen but some of the old team remain. A figure from the past returns and a head-to-head ensues but who will come out on top and what will the consequences be?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I have two other stories to finish but I'm afraid for the moment my writer's block has writer's block. I know how I want them to end but getting it down on paper, metaphorically speaking, is proving impossible. So, rather than giving up writing completely, I'm hoping that starting something new will help me get back on track. Reviews welcomed.

**Disclaimer**: The characters, with the exception of those not in the original line-up, don't belong to me they remain the property of Paxson Entertainment and PebbleHut. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

o-xxx-o

**Same Place, Different Time**

o-xxx-o

It was a grey and depressing late November morning in Washington D.C., the low temperature a warning to the onset of an early and possibly harsh winter. In the shadows of a nearby doorway a lone figure lingered, collar pulled up against the wind, and watched the scene that was playing out across the street…

The subject of the surveillance was standing on the sidewalk talking with a woman and child, the former laughing as she brushed the odd stray flake of snow from his dark brown hair, a gesture which spoke of intimacy and maybe much more. Tenderly he took her exposed hand, blowing and rubbing it between his own to warm it until the little girl tugged at his sleeve and he scooped her up, holding her in the air then lowering her so he could kiss her before placing her back on the ground. Straightening up he looked around, years of experience telling him that he was being watched, but the shadowed figure had been well-trained too and took a step back out of sight. Not seeing anything suspicious, he shrugged and tried to walk away but the child hung onto him, stopping him in his tracks. Crouching down, he pulled her into his arms and gave her a hug, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear as he spoke, his demeanour soft and gentle. Whatever he'd said appeared to work because she let him go and slipped her hand into that of the woman beside her. The two adults spoke for a few minutes longer then the woman stooped to retrieve what looked like an overnight bag, her coat falling open to reveal a heavily swollen belly. Always chivalrous and protective, the man chastised her, picked it up himself and hooked it carefully over her shoulder before removing his gloves so that he could do up her buttons to protect the unborn child from the elements.

The snow had started to fall more heavily and although reluctant to leave, he leaned in, gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked with a slight limp that wouldn't have been noticeable to anyone who hadn't met him before the accident, towards the entrance of the imposing concrete structure of the Hoover Building with its flags blowing in the breeze. Stopping at the door he gave them both a wave which the little girl returned enthusiastically until he disappeared inside.

o-xxx-o


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thank you everyone for all the reviews, favs and follows and I promise I will finish my other stories as soon as. In the meantime, here's another chapter for you. Sorry, it's not a very long one.

o-xxx-o

As he walked through the bullpen door Bobby Manning, the only other remaining member of the original team, looked over and waved the glass coffee jug in his general direction, he nodded gratefully and perched on the edge of the big Aussie's desk.

"Morning Sparks, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just had this strange feeling that I was being watched while I was outside."

"The one that makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up..?"

"No, it wasn't threatening exactly, more unsettling."

"Still doesn't sound good. You want me to go take a look around? See what I can see?"

"Nah, forget it. It's probably just my imagination working overtime."

"If you say so… Drink up mate, looks like you need it."

"Understatement" He took a sip, flinching at the taste but quickly followed it up with another.

"So, how's Allie? Last time I saw her, she looked about ready to pop."

"Don't let her hear you say that, she has at least six more weeks to go and she's already complaining that none of her clothes fit anymore."

"One of the pitfalls of carrying twins I guess. Where is she now?"

"On a flight to Wisconsin… She wanted to spend some time with her parents before her…" Putting down his drink for a moment he used his fingers to make the sign for quotes. "...'life's not her own any more'… Her words not mine." Covering his mouth, he tried unsuccessfully to smother a yawn.

"Well, it takes two to tango, mate." He grinned and winked. "If you know what I mean. What about little Jilly? Still having nightmares?"

"Not as often as she was but last night was pretty bad and she's going through another of her clingy phases."

"Can't blame the poor kid, not after what she's been through. So, how are you going to manage?"

"One day at a time." He shrugged. "Allie dropped her off at day care on her way to the airport. She has a place booked at pre-school but that's not until September…"

"If there's anything I can do to help Sparks, you only have to ask."

"I know and thanks." He yawned again not even bothering to try to hide it this time.

"You know, I might have had my doubts but I'm beginning to think it was a good thing you putting in for the Supervisor's job when D took early retirement. Perhaps you could requisition a couch for that private office of yours? Catch up on your beauty sleep while the rest of us do all the hard graft."

"I wish." The man at his side sighed wistfully.

"You miss all this, don't you?"

"Only every moment of every working day but what choice did I have?"

"None, I guess." Slapping his friend on the back sympathetically, he collected the empty mugs and returned them to the drinks' station. "And now I think you'd better get off my desk so I can make a start on some of that work we were talking about. You free for lunch?"

"No, meeting upstairs but I have some time now. Anything I can help with?"

"Sure, if you want. You could go through the pile of witness statements and see if anything catches your eye."

"No problem, just give me a minute to go pick up my cell."

Shaking his head Bobby watched as he walked to the door, noticing the limp on his right leg was more pronounced than usual, a sure sign that he was tired and the way his shoulders hunched as though the weight of the world was pressing down on them only confirmed it. Jack hated the job he was doing and the isolation that accompanied it. Hated that it set him apart from the rest of the team and kept him out of the field, except on rare occasions... It was only supposed to be a temporary assignment but Bobby feared that, unless there was a drastic change in his friend's personal life, it could become permanent and the Sparky he knew and loved would gradually disappear under a mountain of responsibility and paperwork. Their rotor came over and stood beside him, thankfully distracting him from his unwelcome train of thought, at least for an instant.

"Is there something I can do for you, Elise?"

"You've known Special Agent Hudson a long time, haven't you?"

"More years than I care to remember..."

"Then can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Does he ever smile?"

"He used too, all the time."

"So what happened?"

"Life, darlin'… Life happened."

o-xxx-o


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thank you again for the reviews! I love all your theories, guesses and comments, so please keep them coming! :-D I have another installment almost ready to go so I'll try to get it posted either tonight or tomorrow.

o-xxx-o

Tucking his cell safely back into his jacket pocket, Bobby sighed in frustration. If anyone had told him a few years ago that he'd miss Myles Leland and his acerbic wit he would, in all probability, have laughed in their faces; even today he would deny it if asked but anything was better than the man who now occupied D's old desk. Special Agent Richard D'Angelo… special in his own head, maybe…

For some reason they'd never hit it off. He'd been with the unit for a little over a year… _with_, certainly but a part of, never. He preferred, wherever possible, to work alone, keeping his cases to himself and contributing very little to team efforts. All his belongings were locked away in drawers and no one was allowed to touch anything without prior permission. Even his coffee mug had a 'property of' sticker on it, something Bobby took great delight in ignoring. He reminded him of one of those kids at school who shielded their test papers behind their arms in case someone tried to crib an answer and if Myles' sense of humour had been caustic then this guy's was plain cruel. He'd had both the new female trainee agent and Elise in tears on several occasions and yet the-powers-that-be did nothing about it. He was beginning to suspect that Agent D'Angelo had friends in very high places, another thing that rankled.

"Is there something I can help you with, Special Agent Manning?"

With an effort, the Team Leader swallowed down his dislike and walked over to join him. "That was Jack. He needs to review your notes on the Constanza case."

"I see." There was more than a hint of annoyance in his tone. "Why, the sudden interest?"

"Excuse me?"

"I've been working it without any input from him for the past three months so I repeat, why the sudden interest?"

"Because, he's the Unit Supervisor which means he can review any case he wants." The Aussie had appointed himself as Jack's bodyguard/protector months ago and he'd be damned if he was going to allow this guy to upset him in any way.

"You mean, so he can take the credit without having to do any of the work."

"You know what, mate? I think you'd better stop talking before I do something we might both regret."

"Oh come on Manning, everyone knows he's more concerned about that kid he always has in tow than anything that goes on in the bullpen. She's here so often I'm surprised she doesn't have her own desk."

Drawing himself up to full height Bobby eyed the man with barely contained fury. "Now, look…"

"Is there a problem here, gentlemen?" Jack's voice broke the tension.

"Ask him."

"Bobby?"

"Nah, no problem… Just re-establishing the pecking order, that's all."

"O-kaay... Do you have those notes ready for me?"

"Yes… sir." There was a hint of sarcasm in his tone as he reached into the drawer, took out two thick folders and handed them over.

Jack looked around and noticed that his friend was still scowling. "My office, I think."

o-xxx-o

Just after lunch Agent D'Angelo returned to the bullpen, his face, as usual, giving nothing away. "Agent Manning, Agent Hudson wants to see you."

"Thanks." Worried that there might have been some sort of conflict, he stopped what he was doing immediately. "Elise, if anyone needs me I'll be with Jack."

"Anything important comes up, I'll put them through."

o-xxx-o

"Everything okay, Sparks?" He asked flopping down into one of the empty chairs.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"D'Angelo didn't give you any grief?"

"About, what..?" He finally looked up from the papers he was signing, frowning when he saw Bobby's legs crossed at the ankles, his feet up on the corner of the desk. "Comfortable there, Crash?"

"Yes thanks. So there weren't any problems?"

"You want to tell me what you're talking about because I have no clue."

"Never mind, forget I spoke."

"I usually do. You don't like him very much, do you?"

The Aussie just shrugged.

"He's very good at what he does. We're lucky to have him."

"Yeah, I know. It's nothing a personality transplant wouldn't fix."

"For him or you..?"

"Very funny"

"Remind you of anyone?"

"Even he wasn't that bad. So…" Uncrossing his legs, he pushed himself upright. "…What's up?"

"We have a new case."

"Shouldn't we be discussing this in the bullpen?"

"It's strictly need-to-know."

"Well I hope I'm included in that. It'd be pretty difficult to brief the team on something I know nothing about."

"They want me to take the lead on this one." He sounded almost apologetic.

"Why you..? You haven't conducted a field investigation in months. If you don't mind me saying so you're a bit rusty, mate."

Coming from anyone else Jack would have taken offence but he knew his friend hadn't meant the comment maliciously. "That's why I'm making you my second-in-command, if that's okay with you, of course."

"No problem-o, it'll be just like old times. You gonna fill me in?"

"I'll wait until the others arrive. Elise is setting up one of the conference rooms for us to use."

"Others..?"

"They're pulling together a special taskforce."

"Must be a corker..?"

"The proverbial, 'hot potato'"

"And yet again we're the designated oven mitts."

Jack blew out a breath. "We mess this up and we'll get more than our fingers burned."

"So, can you at least give me a clue or…" He broke off when someone tapped on the door.

"Come in."

Elise entered the room almost nervously. "I've set up everything in conference room three and this is the only key I could find." Taking it out of her pocket as though it was made of some precious metal, she handed it to Jack. "Oh and there's a Special Agent Rodriguez waiting for you in conference room one."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." She walked to the door, paused and glanced over her shoulder before closing it behind her.

"Unless I'm very much mistaken, that girl has a crush on you Sparky, although I can't imagine why." Receiving nothing but an exasperated glare he quickly changed the subject. "Rodriguez? I don't think I know him."

"No reason you would. Are you ready for this?"

"I'll let you know later."

o-xxx-o


	4. Chapter 4

As they entered conference room one, a man of approximately Jack's build and height and obvious Mexican heritage got to his feet.

"Is one of you Special Agent Hudson?"

"That would be me and it's Jack."

"Raul." The newcomer offered as he shook the Agent's hand.

"And this is Agent Manning."

"Bobby. G'day."

"They make them big in Australia, don't they?"

"Lots of bonzer tucker and bush living."

Raul looked to Jack for help.

"He means good food and outdoor living."

"Thanks, I'm definitely going to need an interpreter."

"No worries, Sparky here knows the lingo pretty well, I'm sure he'll help. Won't you cobber?"

Rodriguez gave him an ironic smile. "I believe I asked for that and I should know better, my apologies."

"Accepted"

"Now that's settled we have a room set up along the corridor."

"Agent Manning will be joining us?"

"He will, and before you ask, I'd trust him with my life."

"That's good enough for me. I was told that there would be two others joining us."

"There will but one's tied up in traffic and the other is in a meeting, he'll be with us in about…" Jack checked his watch. "Ten minutes."

"No problem. Which way do I go?"

"Out and two doors to the left… Conference room three. Bobby…" Jack called him back as he was about to follow.

"What's up?"

"I was thinking that we should invite D'Angelo to join us?"

"It's your decision but I'd rather you didn't."

"Why? Because you don't like him..?"

"Well there's that…" Bobby grinned. "But, it's more… I can't explain it… It's just a feeling I have. You know… the one where you're waiting for the other shoe to drop?"

"Got ya, In that case I won't ask."

"Thanks." He slapped his friend on the shoulder and followed him out of the door.

o-xxx-o

They'd just finished pouring coffee when Jack's cell went off. He listened for a few minutes and then got up to open the door for the new arrival.

"Bobby, I'm sure you remember Vincent Pinter."

"How could I forget?"

"I was only doing my job."

"Crash, this time he's on our side."

Almost reluctantly the Aussie shook his hand.

"This is Special Agent Rodriguez from the San Diego Field Office. Raul, Vincent is from the Office of Professional Responsibility. He's here to brief us on what they've managed to find out."

"O.P.R., does this mean we're investigating one of our own?" Bobby queried.

"Afraid so, he's…" A familiar voice outside interrupted him.

"Young woman, I'm more than capable of finding conference room three on my own. I was working in this building before you were even born."

"Is that who I think it is?"

"If you're thinking of who I think you're thinking of then you're probably right." Jack nodded to Raul who pulled a photograph out of the envelope he was holding and pinned it to the board.

"Holy smokes!"

"Now there's a face I was hoping never to see again." Myles Leland declared as he joined the group.

"Would that be mine or his, Harvard?"

"Both, either…"

"Believe it or not, it's good to see you, mate."

"Likewise… I was told to report to the Unit Supervisor."

"That would be me," Jack stepped out from behind Pinter.

"Jack."

"Myles…"

They eyed each other for a moment. "You're sure you're alright with my being here?"

"I always was. Myles it was a long time ago, forget it, there are more important things to deal with here."

The Bostonian nodded his assent. "So, this is what I've been called back for? And just what has the self-aggrandizing, not-so Special Agent Anthony Capono done this time?"

"That's what our O.P.R. representative is here to fill us in on." Jack explained.

"I thought I recognised you. I wish I could say it was a pleasure but I'd be lying."

"Can we please put the hostilities to one side for now and get on with this? Vincent…"

"I think we should start with Agent Rodriguez, since he's from Capono's Field Office."

"In a nutshell, he's dropped off our radar."

"He's an undercover Agent, isn't that his job?"

Raul ignored the new, rather pompous arrival. "He was supposed to check in twice a week but we haven't heard from him in over a month."

"You're sure he's still alive?" Bobby queried. "Undercover can be dangerous work, one slip and..." He drew his finger across his neck in a cutthroat gesture.

"We're sure, we've been hearing disturbing reports from some of our informants."

"You think he's crossed over to the dark side?"

"We've had our suspicions for some time that he's been playing both sides but now it appears he has indeed crossed over as you put it and the force is after him." Vincent Pinter took over the briefing, pleased with himself when the group snickered and smiled, everyone except Jack that was. "We set a trap but we think someone tipped him off and he disappeared."

"Or he figured it out for himself," Bobby interjected. "He's been around long enough to know when he's being set up."

"Not to be obtuse but what has all this got to do with us?" The Bostonian queried.

"You've been hand-picked to put together a water-tight case against him so that when we do catch him we can take him down."

"Again, shouldn't San Diego be handling this?"

"Believe me, we'd love to," Rodriguez replied. "But as you know we're not allowed to investigate our own. I'm only here to fill in the blanks where I can."

"Another Field Office in California then..?" The Aussie suggested.

"He has lots of friends in that area. We're not sure who we can trust."

"Capono has friends?" Myles asked sarcastically. "They can't be particularly choosy about the company they keep. Out of curiosity, how do you know you can trust us?"

"Because it was your office that put us on to him in the first place, although we could never prove anything."

Jack spoke up for the first time. "You both remember the Dominic Romano case from about eight years ago?"

"Yeah, sure..."

"…And Rocco Di Ponti's car blowing up?"

"How could I forget? I thought for a minute there that D and I were goners but what has a random act of terrorism by Hamas got to do with this?"

"I don't think it was random or Hamas."

"Capono..?"

"That was my guess at the time. We were waiting to see how you fared and when you didn't seem to be having any luck, I told Tony we were up but instead of getting out of the car he took out his cell, punched in a few numbers and boom."

"He detonated the bomb?"

"…And I imagine, planted it in the first place."

"The rotten mongrel"

"A despicable act to be sure but if you couldn't prove it then, what makes you think you can now?"

"We have someone who's prepared to give us all the information we need, including documentary proof of various nefarious activities." Pinter confirmed.

"Whoa, I hope his medical insurance is paid up. If Capono finds out he's gonna need it, if he's still breathing that is."

"She, it's a woman… Capono's wife"

"You're kidding, right? Everyone knows a wife can't be forced to testify against her husband." Bobby declared incredulously.

"Actually, she came to us."

"Wow." Jack whispered.

"Brave sheila"

"Or a scared one." Myles countered.

"Good point. I wonder why she's decided to come forward now."

"Maybe he's been up to his old tricks with the women again and she's had enough. Remember his dalliance with our very own Ms Thomas?"

A flash of something intangible crossed Jack's face and Myles looked towards Bobby, who merely shrugged and shook his head.

"Well, you'll be able to ask her yourselves tomorrow. Agent Hudson we'll need you to conduct the interrogation, I have a list of prepared questions." He handed the Unit Supervisor a few sheets of paper.

"Interrogation..? She's a willing informant not a criminal."

"As far as O.P.R. is concerned everyone's guilty of something until proven otherwise."

"Is that your department motto? You should have t-shirts printed."

"Good idea Agent Manning, perhaps I'll bring it up at our next monthly meeting. And now I have another appointment. Stay in touch Hudson, we want to know anything and everything the moment you do."

"Pinter, I need a word." Rodriguez called after him.

"Very well, we can talk as I walk."

After they'd gone Bobby let out a loud whistle. "Well Sparks, you certainly weren't kidding about the 'hot potato' were you?"

"I warned you. If you want out, I'll understand."

"No mate, I guess I can stand the heat if you can. So Harvard, how are things in the Boston office?"

"Much the same as here"

"… but the criminals are no doubt better educated."

"Of course…"

Jack rubbed his forehead as though he had a headache. "You have somewhere to stay?"

"Not yet, I came straight here from the airport."

"I have a spare room you can use."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea, mate?"

"Why?"

"Jilly."

"And who pray tell is Jilly?"

"She's Jack's daughter."

"You have a daughter? And a wife, I presume?"

"Bobby." His tone held a caution.

"Sorry Sparky, wasn't thinking. You can bunk with me Harvard, save you the price of a hotel."

"Save the Bureau the price of a _cheap_ hotel you mean." Myles snorted. "Sounds delightful…"

"I could always invite Howie and Otis to join us. It worked out pretty well that last time."

"I'd sooner sleep on a park bench than share with those two again but thank you for your gracious offer and I accept. You can fill me in on what's been happening around here since I've been gone."

Bobby exchanged glances with Jack, picking up instantly on the warning look in his eyes and nodded to show he'd got the message.

o-xxx-o


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Thank you again to everyone who took the time to review

o-xxx-o

While they waited for their guest to arrive, Jack and Bobby were killing time in the Supervisor's office, the latter perched in his usual spot on the corner of the desk while its owner read through the list of questions that O.P.R. had presented them with.

"We can't ask all of these."

"Why not..?"

Jack handed him one of the sheets of paper, using his finger to underline the third one.

"Geez Sparks, that's a bit personal. I thought we were trying to make a case against him for being a bad guy, not grading how good he is in the sack." He paused a moment. "Now there's a visual I'm never gonna get out of my head."

"Likewise." Jack grimaced as he tidied the remaining pages and slid them back into their envelope. "While we have a minute, you and D'Angelo… Something I should know about?"

"Not really."

"Bobby?" His tone said that he was far from satisfied.

"Like I said before, I just can't put my finger on it."

"Try."

"Okay, but remember, you asked for it. He's rude, arrogant, thinks that the only way is his way. And he's had both of the women in tears a couple of times."

"You know as well as I do, they'll have to grow thicker skins if they're going to survive in this building."

"True, but Leyla is supposed to be my trainee, not his and yet I've caught him correcting her several times over procedure and I swear he takes great delight in contradicting everything I've taught her."

"Has he ever been right?"

"Once or twice," the big man admitted grudgingly.

"Oh, so it's an ego thing?"

"You know me better than that." Jack merely raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe a bit but…"

"You need to sort it out. Find a compromise."

"Sometimes this Team Leader thing just ain't no fun."

"Tell me."

Bobby laughed. "You remember all those run-ins you had with Harvard over Sue?"

Jack's face clouded and his reply was quiet, almost wistful. "I remember."

"Still hurts doesn't it, Sparks?"

"It was a long time ago. Look, if the problem you're having with D'Angelo escalates let me know and I'll have a word."

"You've got enough on your plate already, I'll handle it."

"I know you're trying to take some of the heat for me and I appreciate it but it's my job, I need to know."

Bobby nodded.

"And on that note, I'm guessing you wouldn't recommend his taking over the bullpen while we deal with this?"

"Not a good idea Sparks, I can manage both."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. I can multi-task. I'll do the early morning briefing and give them all enough work to keep them out of trouble. If I am needed then you'll still have Myles to help you."

"I just hope he can leave all the other stuff at the door."

"Not always that easy though, is it mate? He's good. We had a long chat over a couple of bottles of wine last night."

"You didn't..?"

"Of course not," he sounded almost hurt

"Sorry," his cell went off and he quickly read the message. "It's show time."

"Kiss and tell, my least favourite reality programme… Want me to come with?"

"I've got it, thanks."

"Then you might need these." He waved the envelope in Jack's direction and grinned when he snatched it out of his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just… nothing, forget it. You go and make peace with D'Angelo and I'll handle this."

"Conference Room three was being swept for bugs and cameras when I arrived this morning. They're not taking any chances, are they?"

"There are no recorders allowed either and we have to enter all our data on a treble-encrypted laptop. No one can access it apart from myself and Pinter but I'll try and get a waiver for you. Gotta go…"

"Good luck, mate."

o-xxx-o

Standing outside CR3 Jack reached for the handle and then stopped, drawing in a few deep breaths. The feeling he'd experienced just before he'd left his office had returned tenfold, almost suffocating him. He thought back to breakfast time and tried to remember if he'd taken his heart pill. He knew he must have, Jilly would have checked before he left the house. Always either preoccupied or exhausted in the morning, he'd forgotten several times in the past six months, so she'd set herself up as his personal carer, making certain he took it at the same time every day. Sometimes, he wondered just which one of them was the parent and which the child. The strangeness had begun to subside a little and unable to put it off any longer, he tapped on the door and walked in, announcing himself as he entered.

"Mrs Capono, I'm Special Agent Jack Hudson and I'll be conducting the interview today. Would you like to sit down?"

The woman didn't move or respond, just stood with her back to him staring at the evidence board, her collar pulled up to protect her from some imaginary chill.

"I realise this must be difficult for you. I promise I'll try to make it as painless as possible."

A movement to his right caught his attention and he watched in surprise as a little girl, probably a year or so younger than Jilly, got up from the floor where she'd been playing with a doll and walked over to the woman tugging on her sleeve. When she turned to face him, Jack found himself unable to speak or even breathe, the solid ground beneath his feet seemed to have turned into quicksand that was trying to suck him under.

o-xxx-o


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Well that certainly got everyone's attention! (Let's out evil Machiavellian-style laugh) A note of caution on this one for a couple of swear words. Enjoy!

Signing in **bold**

o-xxx-o

"Bobby, I need you down here."

"What's up, Sparky? Don't tell me you've forgotten how to conduct an interview."

The silence on the other end of the phone had him dropping everything and heading for the stairs which he took two at a time. Rounding the corner he saw Jack practically sitting on the corridor floor, his back against the wall as though he'd slid down it. He was crouching at his side in seconds.

"Jack, what's wrong? Are you sick? You need me to fetch someone?" He tried to get up but the other Agent grabbed his arm. "Would you please say something, you're scaring the hell out of me here."

Seeming to get some sort of control he looked up at the Aussie, who was shocked by the intensity of emotions that played out on his face, the most powerful of which, was pure anger.

"Sparks?"

Unlike his expression his voice was deadly calm. "Have you seen Pinter?"

"Yeah, sure… He dropped by the bullpen just before you called."

"Did he say where he was going?" The question was asked through gritted teeth.

"Upstairs, for some hush-hush meeting…"

"Thanks." Using his friend's arm for leverage, he got to his feet and stormed off in the direction of the elevator.

Determined to find out what had the normally-placid Supervisor so riled, Bobby walked into the conference room and stopped dead. "Sue? What on earth?" He studied her face, taking in her shell-shocked look as she worried her bottom lip. "You… You're..?"

Nodding, she held the little girl who was sitting on her lap, a little tighter.

"Pinter, you rotten mongrel..! If Jack doesn't beat you into a bloody pulp, I'm sure as hell going to." He'd muttered it almost under his breath but Sue picked up on it.

"He said, he'd tell you." Her voice was shaky.

"Yeah, well he didn't, the bastard."

"**Mommy, he said a bad word**." The little child gasped and signed at the same time.

"I know Sweetie, but he's upset."

"You said it was still a **no-no**."

"And your Mommy is absolutely right, **sorry**."

"You remembered." Sue looked at him in delighted surprise.

"Not much, I'm afraid. So who's this?"

"I'm Laura."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Laura."

"Not L-or-ra, L-oww-ra. It's Italian." She stated proudly.

"Yeah, I guess it would be. I'm Bobby."

"You talk funny."

"That's because he's Australian, sweetheart."

"Oh… Why was that other man so angry? Did I do something wrong?"

"No darlin', he's just having a bad day, that's all."

"Oh…" At that moment Jack walked back into the room.

"Did you find him?"

"No."

"Probably not a bad thing…"

"He'll keep." He took a deep breath and Bobby could pinpoint the instant the shutters came down, leaving Special Agent Jackson Hudson on the outside and Jack the man, inside. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

He watched his friend pick up the envelope. "You're really going to ask her those questions?"

"It's what we're paid to do." His voice was all business as he sat down opposite her. "I'm sure you remember how this goes."

A momentary hurt crossed her face. "I remember."

He'd just got started when his cell went off. Whipping it out of his pocket, he checked the caller ID. "Sorry, I have to take this." Walking to the corner of the room he turned away and Sue couldn't decide if it was deliberate or not. When he hung up, his face betrayed the stress the call had caused.

"Problem..?"

"Yeah…"

"The usual one..?"

"Uh-huh," sighing he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"You go and take care of it. I can run through the preliminaries here until you get back."

"You sure..?"

"Of course… Just do me a favour and stop by the bullpen on your way out, see if there are any tears that need mopping up."

"I can do that. Thanks."

"It's what friends are for, mate."

"I owe you."

"And I intend to collect." Bobby shouted as he disappeared into the corridor.

Sue had been following the conversation, understanding the words but not the context. It was great to see that they were still best buddies and she realised for the first time just how much she'd missed the banter, which seemed to be unique to this particular Field Office, but something was clearly very wrong. Jack just wasn't the same person she remembered. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be?" His tone was defensive and although she couldn't hear it, she picked up his body language loud and clear.

"No, reason…" She shrugged a little sadly. It was obvious now that she was no longer considered to be part of the team. She could understand it but it still hurt.

"He really cared about you, you know?" Bobby eventually broke the oppressive silence.

"Sorry?"

"Jack. Your leaving really tore him up."

"Bobby, I…"

"Oh I know it was a good job… The promotion and the extra money… another rung up the ladder but the team was never the same after you left."

"I only moved to New York."

"Yeah but you could have kept in touch, especially after he came to see you."

"Excuse me?"

"…About three months after you left. You were on some course somewhere. You could have at least called him back… Only, you didn't know, did you?" He asked incredulously.

She shook her head.

"Someone in your office said they'd pass on the message and give you his new number."

"I never got it." She whispered regretfully. "But if he really wanted to see me, he could have tried again."

"No, he couldn't."

"Why, not..? All he had to do was pick up the phone."

Bobby sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. "We were handed a new case, you know the kind… You eat, sleep and breathe the bullpen."

"I remember."

"It had virtually ground to a halt and then we got word that the people we were after were on the move. Jack was in the lead car with Harvard and I was behind with S.O.G. It looked like we were going to lose them so Myles took a gamble and jumped a stop sign. We had lights and sirens, the whole works, but a car came across the junction at speed and broad-sided them." His eyes had a haunted, faraway look. "Jack was pinned in the wreckage. It took them over an hour to cut him free. He spent two months in hospital in traction and even longer in physio."

"And Myles..?"

"Walked away with nothing more than whiplash and a few bruises..."

"Is that where Jack got the limp?"

"Yeah… I'm surprised you noticed, not many people do. Myles blamed himself. Jack told him that if it had been the other way around he would have done the same thing but it didn't make any difference. He stuck it out until Sparky came back to work but seeing him limping into the bullpen every day and knowing he was in pain was too much for him. He transferred to the Boston office, made some excuse about being closer to his family but we all knew it wasn't true. You know, Tara always reckoned you were our lucky charm and when you left, all the good stuff went with you." He picked up a pen. "Shall we get started here?"

o-xxx-o


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Okay, I know some of you are annoyed with me but thank you to everyone who's still reading and reviewing.

o-xxx-o

They'd barely made it through the basics when there was a tap on the door. Bobby got up and moved the blind so that he could see outside and when it opened Jack came in carrying a tearful child who was clinging onto him for dear life.

"Hey JillyBean, what's wrong? Why all the tears..?"

The little girl stared at him defiantly. "Only daddy's allowed to call me that, it's our special name."

Bobby shook his head. "I'm getting the feeling this isn't my day, you're the second pretty, young lady I've struck out with in the past hour."

"Losing your touch, Crash?"

"You think I'm pretty?" She asked coyly.

"Sure I do." He grinned and winked. "So, what's got you all upset?"

"This." Pulling open her woolly jacket, she revealed a pink t-shirt, decorated with sparkles and stained with what appeared to be blackcurrant juice.

"One of the other kids, it was just an accident." Jack explained.

"No it wasn't! He said it was but he did it on purpose. Do you think Mommy's mad at me?"

"Of course not, I'm sure she'll understand. We'll go shopping at the weekend and buy you a new one."

"It won't be the same." Her eyes filled with tears again.

"I know but it's the best I can do, sweetheart."

"Is it still wet?" Sue joined the discussion.

"Damp."

"Then you should dab it with paper towels and rinse it thoroughly in cold water. Put it through the machine when you get home on a normal wash and it'll be okay."

"Really..? Can we now, daddy? Please?"

"I'm not…"

"I'll do it if you like." Sue offered. "We'll need to use the Ladies' Room." She picked up her bag and Laura immediately ran to her side. "You want to come to?"

"Hold on, I need to check that the coast is clear, first." Bobby stood up blocking her way.

"It should be. Security has guards at both ends of the corridor and they have strict orders not to let anyone through." The door closed and he practically fell back down onto his chair and closed his eyes.

"You alright, Sparks?"

"Just tired, Crash... too damn tired." It was the smallest of admissions but enough to worry his friend.

"Perhaps you should think about handing this one over? Let someone else take it on."

"You know I won't do that, especially not now."

"Yeah, I know but I had to try. My offer's still open, if there's anything I can do and I mean anything, you just have to say and make sure you do, okay?"

"I will."

"I mean it, Sparks."

The female contingent returned and he rubbed his eyes and sat up but not before Sue had seen him. She glanced questioningly at Bobby, who just shook his head.

"All done…"

"**Thank you**."

"**You're welcome**."

Their eyes locked and just for a moment it was as though they'd travelled back in time, until Jilly broke the spell.

"What was that, daddy?"

"ASL… American Sign Language… You remember, sweetheart."

"But that's only for deaf people."

"That's right and Sue's deaf."

"But she was talking to me in the bathroom."

"Then you must have been facing her, Sue reads lips." Bobby explained.

"Not all the time."

"No, but you were standing in front of the mirror so I could see your reflection."

"Of course I was, silly Jilly!" Unseen by the others, Jack swallowed past the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.

"**Hello S-U-E, I'm J-I-L-L-Y. Are you a B-A-D P-E-R-S-O-N**?"

The woman's face lit up in a brilliant smile. "**You sign**? **And no, I'm not bad**."

"I'm glad. Daddy said we should all learn but I haven't been practising much." She looked at him guiltily.

"That's okay, JillyBean, neither have I. Now…" He took her hand and pulled her closer. "I need you to do something for me and it's very important."

"Okay." Her expression turned deadly serious.

"Do you have your colouring books in your bag?"

"Yes."

"Then I want you to take Laura over behind the big board and sit very quietly so we can talk. Will you do that for me?"

"If I do, can we go for pizza on the way home?"

Jack almost smiled. "Absolutely..."

"Okay." She walked over and took the younger girl by the hand. "Is Laura deaf too?"

Sue shook her head. "No, she can hear."

"That's good."

"Jilly, that's not nice."

"I wasn't being rude daddy, honest." She pouted at having been told off unfairly. "It's just hard to hold crayons and sign at the same time."

"She's got you there, Sparky."

"Sorry, sweetie..."

"I forgive you, this time." She ran back to give him a kiss and a hug.

"Laura's waiting for you." Blowing out a cleansing breath, he returned his mind to the task at hand. "How far have you got?"

"Not very," Bobby confessed.

Jack was all business again as he squared up the notepad in front of him. "We were told you have something for us."

His coldness discomfited her but she was determined not to let it show. "That's right." She searched his face but his expression remained impassive. "Do you remember the Romano case?"

"It's what got us into this mess in the first place." The Aussie sighed.

"You were right. Tony planted the bomb and blew up Di Ponti's car."

"That much we guessed."

"And, he paid someone to kill Dominic."

"What?" Now she had their full attention.

"At the time you mentioned you thought it was odd the way it happened. Tony wanted to get closer to Di Ponti so he created the opportunity. I think he already knew that Hamas were involved and he was glory-hunting but when he realised Jack was getting suspicious he backed off and decided to find another way in."

"He told you all this?" Bobby queried.

"Yes."

"And you're prepared to make a statement to that effect?"

This time her response was a little more hesitant. "Yes."

"That's good to hear but I wish we had some concrete evidence. What do you think, Sparks."

He made the **so-so** sign but didn't speak.

"I couldn't find any proof of that but I have something else." Leaning over she picked up her oversized bag again and delved inside, pulling out a sheaf of photocopy paper and handing it to Bobby.

"Whoa!"

"What?"

"These are copies of bank statements and they look like they're gonna make pretty interesting reading." He pointed out an entry for over 100,000 dollars which was withdrawn again a few days later.

"And this..." she carefully unwrapped a mini hard drive. "I thought maybe Tara could do something with it."

"Tara's not in DC anymore." Bobby corrected. "She transferred to Chicago to be with Stanley, they got married last year."

"Do you have any idea what's on it?" Jack asked his first real question.

"Everything that was on his laptop... I couldn't break the encryption so I had a neighbour clone the drive. Its hacker stuff and I didn't really understand it but the guy's sure it worked."

"O-kay..." The two men exchanged stunned glances and Bobby whistled.

"It should have everything including his e-mail accounts. He could never remember his passwords so they're all saved, once you can get in."

"Does Pinter know about any of this?"

She shook her head 'no'. "I gave him some surveillance disks and photographs that I found but I kept all this for you."

"That's great." For a moment she thought he was going to take her hand the way he used to but at the last minute he diverted it to scratch his head.

"You don't trust our O.P.R. representative, Sparky?"

"There are too many unknowns involved in this task force. The only people I trust, apart from myself, are you and Myles and I'm not prepared to share this with him yet, either."

"Fair enough…"

"Sue, why are you doing this?"

She hadn't noticed that he was speaking so Bobby pointed in his direction.

"Sorry, I didn't see that."

"It's okay. I asked why you were doing this."

"Because, it's the right thing..." There was definitely more to it but he let it go.

"And when was the last time you saw him?"

"About two months ago, he came to collect some of his stuff."

"And before that..?"

"In July and before that March... That was the first time in two years. He said he'd come to see Laura but I knew he was lying. It was the July visit when he left the laptop behind. He told me it contained confidential information about a case he was working on and that he needed to put it somewhere no one would ever look for it." Her bottom lip quivered slightly and Jack picked up on it immediately.

"I think we're done here for today."

"What about Pinter's questions?"

"I don't think…"

"Look mate, he's going to expect some answers or he's going to wonder what we've been up to in here all afternoon."

"What questions?" Sue asked curiously.

"O.P.R. gave us a 'pop quiz' for you but some of it gets pretty personal."

"Can I see?"

"Sue, I don't think…"

"It's okay Jack, I'm a big girl now."

He slid the envelope across the polished surface. "Don't answer anything you don't want to."

"Do you have a pen I can use?"

"Sure." The Aussie handed her one and then started to check through the papers she'd given him while Jack sat back and studied her. He could tell exactly when she found a question that either hurt or was too intrusive by the slight changes of expression on her face, which only someone who knew her very well would have picked up on. Years had gone by since he'd seen her last but it didn't seem to have diminished in any way the connection they'd always shared… he thought they'd shared. She looked up suddenly, sensing she was being watched, and caught him in the act. A small knowing smile played across her lips, one that wasn't reciprocated, and faded when she saw for the briefest of seconds, the pain and sadness in the depths of his still-captivating, brown eyes and her heart cried for him as she wondered what had happened to make him hurt so badly.

Filling in the last question, she tried to hand them back but he shook his head, 'no'.

"You don't want to see?"

"They're between you and O.P.R. Just put them into the envelope and seal it."

"Sparks," Bobby looked at him in surprise. "Shouldn't we at least…" He never finished his sentence.

"We don't need to know that stuff. If we have any _relevant_ questions then we'll ask them ourselves. I'll call Pinter and have him arrange to take you back to wherever you're staying. Jilly, it's time to go. Collect up your things, please."

"Okay..."

Picking up both the drive and the papers, he slipped them into the little girl's bag.

"They're not mine, daddy."

"I know JillyBean, but I need to get them to my office without anyone seeing."

"Are they secret?"

"Very." He put a finger to his lips to get his point across. "Crash can you stay here with Sue and Laura until Pinter arrives and make sure he gets those," he pointed to the sealed envelope on the table. "Ready, sweetheart..?"

"Yes. **Bye S-U-E**."

"**Goodbye J-I-L-L-Y**."

"You need to go home and get some sleep, mate." Bobby chided as Jack tried to smother a yawn. "I'll call Mr Personality, he'll only keep you talking for hours and I don't think he needs to know we had extra company." He nodded towards Jilly.

"Good point. And I'll try but I have a pizza promise to keep first."

"That's okay, daddy. If you're tired we can go another time."

Sue was surprised at how protective and thoughtful his daughter seemed to be. Way beyond her four or five years, but then again she was _his_ daughter and obviously took after him.

"You're sure, honey?"

"I'm sure."

"Thank you." He hoicked the bag onto one shoulder, picked her up giving her a grateful squeeze and then waited for her to settle. "I'll see you in the morning, Crash." His eyes locked with Sue's again but thankfully Jilly distracted him.

"I almost forgot my t-shirt."

"Go fetch it then and don't drip water all over the floor."

When they'd gone, Sue tapped Bobby on the arm. "He's not okay, is he?"

"No," He shook his head sadly. "But that isn't your problem, anymore. I'll call Pinter." He took out his cell but paused before dialling. "Sue..?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay? I mean, none of this can be easy for you. After all, you obviously loved that drongo, sorry Capono, enough to marry him."

She nibbled on her bottom lip but didn't reply. Tony had taken almost everything away from her. Her friends, her family, her job… and what was worse, she'd let him but there had been one compensation and she was sitting on her lap playing with her hair. It didn't matter what she thought or how she felt, the only thing that was important was her daughter's safety and well-being.

"I'll call Pinter."

o-xxx-o


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Loving the fact that you're all still guessing but I'm not sure this particular chapter will help you very much! Enjoy!

o-xxx-o

"That's it, Sparks, I give up." Bobby declared as his colleague came through the office door. "We've been at this every spare minute for the past three days and where are we? Nowhere... Randy Pitts stands more chance of finding a girlfriend than either of us at cracking the encryption on this thing."

Jack stared in sheer horror, wondering if he should go out and come in again, in the hope that what he was seeing would miraculously disappear somehow. The place was a mess with screwed up pieces of paper all around but not in, the waste bin and his desk was littered with notepads, empty drink containers and food wrappers.

"I hope you're going to clean this up before you leave, Crash. And, in case you missed the memo, our Office Services Manager already has a girlfriend. In fact, I believe they're engaged."

"Very funny, mate." His friend's expression remained impassive. "Only, you're not joking, are you?"

"Nope…"

"Proves my point then but it begs the question… What sheila in her right mind could be that desperate?"

"Arlene."

"Now that explains it, a match made in Heaven. She can diagnose all our ailments and he can colour-code them into degrees of seriousness."

Taking a stack of folders from the cabinet, Jack crossed the room and tried to find somewhere to put them down. "Bobby…"

"Uh-oh, I recognise that tone. It's the one you use on Jilly when you're hacked off. You know you're turning into a neatness freak."

"I just like to be able to find things without having to spend twenty minutes searching."

"I'll have you know, I resemble that remark." This time Jack almost smiled.

Disconnecting the clone, he looked around for a space and eventually flicked one of the empty coffee containers into the bin. "Face it Sparks, we're gonna need help with this. Neither of us has the know-how to…"

"Anything I can do?" D'Angelo's voice startled them and Bobby hastily covered the drive with a notebook, unwittingly drawing more attention to it. "I'm very good with computers."

The two senior agents exchanged concerned glances.

"Thanks for the offer but it's no biggie. Jack here managed to screw up his home computer last night and we've been trying to fire up the hard-drive to see if we can rescue anything… Photos, household accounts, that sort of stuff."

"Only trying to help…" By that time, he'd made it all the way into the room and was picking up stray pieces of paper.

"That's okay Richard, thanks anyway. I have a friend in I.T. I'll have them take a look at it. Was there something you wanted?"

The man looked a little disgruntled. "Just doing as you asked Special Agent Hudson and keeping you up-to-date. The Costanza case is all squared away and ready to go to the A.D.A."

"Great, could you make sure it gets there today."

"I'll take it myself." He hovered for a few seconds and then walked away. Bobby followed, closing the door so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Wonder how long he was out there."

Jack shrugged. "I'd guess he probably followed me when I left the bullpen."

"Which, means, he heard just about everything... It's lucky we didn't mention any names."

"We'll have to be more careful… _I'll_ have to be more careful."

"I don't think I helped," he offered apologetically as he began to clear the desk and floor.

"How come I was the one who screwed up?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why couldn't it have been your computer?"

"Come on Sparks, do I look like the kind of guy who goes home every night and idles his time away on the internet?"

"You mean that I do?"

"If the boring life fits, mate..." He winked cheekily and having finished housekeeping, sat back down on the chair. "So, what's our next move?"

"We find someone to help us."

"That's not going to be easy. The only person we know we can trust is Myles and he has about as much computer savvy as my next-door neighbour's cat."

"Perhaps you should bring him in." He pulled out his cell, flicked through his contacts and hit the appropriate number. "He may not be able to do what we want but I know someone who can, hopefully."

"Who would..?" He stopped when Jack put up a finger to shush him.

"Stanley, its Jack… Is Tara there by any chance?"

"You have her on speed-dial?"

"Never know when you might need a computer expert… Tara, hi… Good to hear your voice too… I'm fine…"

"That's a matter of opinion," Bobby muttered a little too loudly, earning himself a dirty look.

"Yes, it was. He says 'hi'… I have a problem I think you might be able to help me with." He spent a few minutes giving her the general gist without going into specifics. "That would be great, thanks. I promise, as soon as I have some free time. You, too… Bye for now."

"You know there's nothing more unenlightening than one side of a conversation."

"She wants me to go for a visit."

"That much I gathered. Not going to happen any time soon though, is it?"

Jack shrugged. "Who knows? She's promised to send some disks with programmes that might help us. They should be here in a few days."

"And, in the meantime..?"

"We go and see how Myles and Rodriguez are getting on with Capono's case files… after I've put this away." He picked up the drive and locked it in the filing cabinet.

"So, Tara's happy in Chicago?" The taller Agent asked as they walked towards the elevators.

"Seems to be, why?"

"No reason, just curious."

Jack pushed the button and looked up at his friend through narrowed eyes. "Don't tell me I wasn't the only one who missed what was right in front of them?"

"Maybe… Nah, she was more like a kid sister, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

The elevator arrived and Bobby let out a relieved sigh.

o-xxx-o


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** A big THANK YOU to 71cottes, fanka77 and Tangosalsa. Your reviews really are appreciated!

o-xxx-o

"So, what do we have?" Jack sat at the head of the table in CR3 and looked expectantly at each man in turn.

"Not much more than we did forty-eight hours ago, although we've found several more Mafia connections."

"Well he is Italian." Bobby quipped

"And I'm Mexican," Rodriguez retorted. "Does that mean I'm automatically in league with the drug cartels?"

"Geez mate, lighten up. I just meant it would make sense to use him to infiltrate the various factions, that's all." The two Agents kept eye contact, neither of them willing to be the first to back down.

"Moving on," Myles interrupted. "There are also three that lead back to known members of Hamas and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any 'family'…" he mimed parentheses, "in that part of the world."

"He doesn't, I checked," Raul admitted a little sheepishly. "Agent Manning, my apologies… Again…"

"Must be the accent," the Aussie joked humourlessly.

"I've been in contact with our office in San Diego and everything he was working on had been sanctioned by the Bureau."

"Everything we know about, anyway," Myles added. "So it seems reasonable to assume he keeps the details of his more nefarious activities elsewhere. A laptop, maybe… Anyone know of one?"

Raul shrugged while Bobby shook his head and Jack remained silent.

"What about Capono's wife? Surely she must know something."

"I think she would have told us, Harvard."

"Maybe someone else should talk to her? A different approach might help. How do we know we can trust her anyway?"

"We can trust her." Jack affirmed a little too forcefully.

"Really..? You're sure about that? After all she did fall for that smooth-talking Benedict Arnold, how reliable can she be?"

"I take it you've known him for a while?" Rodriguez observed.

"They were at Quantico together and the best of friends, apparently."

He scowled at his ex-colleague. "Oh, very droll, well in that case," he threw the folders he was holding onto the table. "All this and five bucks will get you a latté."

"I think you'll find it's closer to ten these days, mate, but the old ones are definitely the best."

"I happen to think so."

"I hate to break up old home week but I have to go and update our friendly O.P.R. representative." Jack sighed and stretched his back.

"Well that shouldn't take long," the Bostonian snorted.

"Friendly like a snake, watch yourself, Sparks."

"Can a person actually do that without the benefit of a mirror?" Myles queried, scratching his head. "And what should Agent Rodriguez and I do while you're gone?"

"Go through all the files again, see if there's something you missed."

"Jack, we've been through them so many times we can practically recite them verbatim."

"Then the next time I ask, you'll be word perfect."

Raul tried to comment but Jack's cell went off.

"Okay, I'm on my way."

"Pinter?" Bobby queried and the Supervisor nodded. "Getting a bit impatient, isn't he?"

"Apparently, he has somewhere else to be."

"He's probably been putting some other hard-working Agent through the wringer and now it's time to hang him out to dry."

"You know I've really missed your one-liners. What do you need me to do?"

"Go back to the bullpen, make sure everything's running smoothly and keep an eye on our friend."

"Aah, you're finally on my wavelength, aren't you Sparky?"

"That makes one of us." The Bostonian interjected and Rodriguez laughed.

"Let's just say, I'm monitoring the frequency." He waited for everyone to leave and then locked the door.

o-xxx-o

It was mid-afternoon by the time Bobby got back from a meeting with one of his snitches. He walked to his desk and hung up his jacket, shaking off the excess water from the shower he'd been caught in before going over to the rotor's desk.

"Anything for me, Elise..?"

"Just these," she handed him a couple of papers to sign as he surveyed the room.

"Where's D'Angelo?"

"Meeting…"

"Did he happen to say where or with whom?"

"'fraid not… I could have him paged."

"Nah, don't bother."

"You don't like him very much, do you?"

"Shucks dahlin', what gave me away?" He winked at her cheekily. "Is Jack around?"

"Got back about ten minutes ago, I think he's in his office." She hesitated a moment not knowing whether to voice her thoughts. "I know it's none of my business but perhaps you should try to persuade him to go home, he looks shattered."

His smile faded and was quickly replaced by a concerned frown. "Thanks."

o-xxx-o

"Come in." Jack sat up a little straighter and massaged his right shoulder and the side of his neck.

"You okay?"

"Nothing a healthy dose of fresh air and a long run wouldn't cure… if I had the energy, that is."

"I meant your neck and shoulder. Anything to be concerned about..?"

"What? Oh no... I was reading Jilly a story last night and I think I fell asleep before she did. …Woke up at 4am with a crick in my neck."

"You're sure that's all it is?" His friend had had a bit of a heart scare a few months earlier while they were having lunch and finished up in the ER again. While his cardiologist had assured them it was nothing to worry about, he'd just been on his pills for so long that they were losing their effectiveness, Bobby was firmly convinced it was down to all the stress he was under and had made an effort to acquaint himself with every warning sign.

"They changed my medication and besides, heart is always the left side."

"Not that easy to remember when you're in a state of blind panic."

"Thanks for caring." He gave the Aussie a grateful smile. "I just need to remember that grown-ups and children's beds aren't compatible."

"You might want to keep that little snippet to yourself Sparks. In this building you could find yourself on the wrong side of a pair of handcuffs."

"Good point."

Bobby chuckled. "Do you remember all those mornings D used to come in complaining of the same thing?"

"Yeah but now I've experienced it first-hand it doesn't seem quite as funny as it did back then. Anyway, after that I just couldn't get back to sleep."

"Then why don't you call it a day, this will all still be here tomorrow."

"You really know how to cheer a person up, don't you, Crash? But I think I might just… Damn…" He cursed softly when, right on cue, his cell clamoured for attention for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "Hudson… Can't it wait until tomorrow..? Okay, I'll be right there…"

"What's up?"

"Pinter wants to see me and he doesn't sound happy."

"How can you tell?"

o-xxx-o

Almost two hours later he returned, slamming the door behind him and making his colleague jump.

"Geez Sparky, you trying to give _me_ a heart attack?"

"Sorry, I didn't see you there."

"I can understand that, after all I'm only six-four, pretty easy to miss."

The comment didn't even raise a smile as Jack slumped down onto his chair and ran his fingers through his hair.

"You look a little frazzled, mate."

"First he kept me hanging around for forty-five minutes and then it felt like I was back at school in the principal's office." He rubbed his neck again. "Pinter knows about the cloned drive."

"What? How..?"

"I told him, I didn't have a choice."

"You've lost me."

"After he'd finished tearing strips off me for withholding information, he asked about Capono's laptop."

"How did he even know he had one?"

Jack shrugged and winced simultaneously. "I tried to hedge, told him we hadn't found it…"

"Which happens to be true..."

"Then he asked why I'd called Tara, said he remembered her from before and her genius with computers. I told him it was just a social call but, needless to say, he didn't believe me and made it clear that if I wasn't prepared to co-operate, he'd have Sue brought in and if he found out she'd been helping us he'd have her charged with obstructing justice. I couldn't let that happen."

"And..?"

"The odd thing was, I could swear she'd already been there, I could smell her perfume." The Aussie let that one pass. "I told him about the drive and that we were having trouble cracking it and he wanted it handed over but I managed to convince him to give us a few more days; told him, the fewer people in the know - the better. He agreed, provided I pass on everything from now on and if he finds out I haven't, I'll be the best dressed guy in the unemployment line."

"You think he meant it?"

"Oh, yeah..."

Bobby smacked his hand down on the desk. "Geez Sparks, what a bloody mess."

"You know if anyone had told me even two years ago that I'd be considering chucking this job in, I'd have thought they were out of their minds but I came this close…" he held his thumb and forefinger about a centimetre apart. "…to resigning there and then."

"What stopped you?"

"She did. I couldn't just throw her to the wolves."

"You can't turn back the clock mate, no matter how much you might want to."

"I know that."

"You want my advice?"

"I have a feeling I'm going to get it anyway."

"Go home via the take-out, play silly games with Jilly and then have an early night."

"You know, that sounds pretty good right now."

"Would I steer you wrong?"

"What time is it, anyway?"

Bobby checked his watch. "A little after 6:30..."

"Hell!" Jack jumped up out of his chair. "I should have collected her over an hour ago!"

"Would you slow down? She's in the bullpen with Elise. When I couldn't get you on your cell, I went to pick her up myself."

"Thank you." Closing his eyes he took in a slow, calming breath.

"Any time... Now would you please go home before they have to carry you out of here?"

"I'm going," he took his coat off the hook and slipped it on. "One thing… You might be right about D'Angelo, I'm sure I saw him disappearing around the corner when I came out of Pinter's office and there's no reason that I can think of, why he should have been there in the first place."

"You think he told O.P.R. about the laptop?"

"I don't know who else it could have been."

"Damn it, I knew there was something not right about him. What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing..."

"Come again?"

"Look, we have no idea who he's working for and he doesn't know we're on to him. Let's keep it that way for now."

"Friends close, enemies closer?"

"You've got it."

"If you say so Sparks, I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Me, too... See you in the morning."

"Don't forget Jilly."

"Why would I… oh, very funny."

"And try sleeping in your own bed tonight. You're far too old to be playing 'sleep-over'. The Aussie called after him and laughed out loud when Jack muttered something that didn't bear repeating.

o-xxx-o


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Thank you again

Signing in **bold**

~ Thoughts ~

o-xxx-o

As soon as he'd arrived home, Jack had put the pizza into the oven to warm through while he took a tepid shower in the hope that it would revive him enough to get them both fed and spend some quality time with Jilly; something that had been severely lacking of late and just one more thing for him to feel guilty about. She'd gone to bed happy a while ago and so far there had been no bad dreams. Smothering a yawn, he glanced at the clock, almost disappointed to find that it wasn't much past 10. Crash had been right, he was exhausted, but what his friend didn't know was that Jilly wasn't the only one having nightmares. Though not the same as hers, they shared a common thread and often left him distressed; haunting him throughout the next day. He needed a break, time to get some perspective, but with Allie in Wisconsin, and due to give birth in a few weeks, there seemed very little possibility of it happening in the foreseeable future. He'd noticed too, while they waited for their food, that the shops were gearing up for Christmas which meant he also had to start thinking about making arrangements to go himself. He'd always looked forward to his time back home but this year he almost dreaded it.

Knowing that if he sat down on the couch and turned on the television he'd fall asleep, Jack grudgingly settled on an early night and picked up the book he'd been trying to finish for months. He walked wearily to the bedroom, wondering just when he'd gotten so old. Sitting on the edge of the bed he'd just removed his shoes and socks when his cell went off for the hundred-and-first time that day. He tried to ignore it, cursing himself for not switching it off when he came in, but the caller was persistent and he was worried that if he let it ring for too long, it would wake the child in the room opposite. "Hudson." It came out as more of a bark than a greeting.

"Jack, he was here… We came back from dinner and the place was a mess."

He took a breath to try and clear the fog from his brain.

"Jack?"

"Have you called Pinter?"

"No, I thought…"

"Call him in five minutes."

"I don't understand."

"Five minutes." He hung up and ran back into the lounge searching his jacket pockets until he found one of the pre-paid phones he'd bought earlier and then called her back.

"Sue, it's me. Did you call him?"

"No, you told me to wait."

"Good."

"What's going on?"

"I think my calls are being monitored."

"…By O.P.R.?"

"I'm not sure. Did you say Tony had been there? Did he hurt you?"

"No, we were out."

"Thank God."

"He called about ten minutes ago. He said he wanted his laptop but I don't have it."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yes but I'm not sure he believed me. Jack, I'm scared."

"Doesn't Pinter have people watching you?"

"He did but I haven't seen them since this morning. I don't know what to do."

"Make sure the door is locked and collect up the things you need. I'll come and get you."

"I'm not sure that's…"

"Sue, it'll be okay. Where are you?"

She gave him an address in a part of the city that even some of his snitches wouldn't venture into after dark.

"I have to wake Jilly but I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay inside and don't open the door to anyone. Is there a security chain?"

"Yes."

"Then put it on."

"Jack, I'm sorry."

o-xxx-o

"Daddy, it's cold."

"I know sweetie but we need to pick up Sue and Laura, it's very important."

"Okay, can you fix my seatbelt for me?"

"Of course I can." He leaned in and buckled it then covered her with the blanket he'd taken out of her wardrobe before kissing her on the top of the head. "Better?"

"Mmm hmm..." He'd barely made it out of the driveway before she was asleep again. She looked so small and vulnerable that he had to swallow past the lump that had formed in his throat just to be able to breathe.

There was hardly any traffic but every light he came to had been against him. He was itching to put his foot down but couldn't take the risk. The road was slippery from the rain that had started to fall and the last thing he wanted was to attract any unnecessary attention. Gritting his teeth and praying both Sue and Laura were safe he kept his speed just under the limit.

The ostentatious white buildings with their manicured gardens, gradually gave way to rundown buildings with broken shutters, their walls covered in graffiti. The multi-coloured signs for video stores and bars reflected in the puddles reminding him of a setting for a Mickey Spillane novel. Pulling over to the side of the road for a moment, he checked to make sure the back doors were securely locked before continuing with his journey. The area he was making for was only illuminated with the odd street light, all the others having been vandalised a long time ago and never repaired and he found himself wondering what on earth had possessed Pinter to place a vulnerable woman and child here of all places.

His sat-nav told him that he'd reached his destination and it was only then he realised he had a problem. He didn't want to wake the little girl sleeping behind him and anyway, he'd taken her straight from bed and she was still in her pyjamas but at the same time, he couldn't risk leaving her on her own while he went to get Sue.

He banged his head on the steering wheel. ~ Great forward planning, Hudson. ~

Taking out his cell he dialled her number. "Sue, its Jack, I'm outside but I have Jilly in the car. Could you come down with Laura and then I'll go up and get your stuff." He saw a curtain being pulled back about two floors up and gave her a thumbs-up.

"I'll be right down."

"Be careful."

While he waited he looked around to make sure there was nothing suspicious in the immediate area and although he couldn't see anyone, he knew instinctively that he was being watched again.

As soon as they arrived he hastened them into the car. "**Lock the doors. I'll be back in a minute**."

"**O-K**"

Jack quickly stashed her things in the trunk, then slid in behind the wheel and locked the doors again.

"I'm afraid you'll have to hold on to Laura for a while but as soon as we reach civilisation I'll pull over. I have a spare child seat somewhere."

There had been no real chance of conversation since it was too dark to read lips but she had noticed he was checking his mirrors more frequently than was really necessary for the conditions. As soon as he stopped she questioned him about it but he merely brushed it off as being over-cautious. She accepted his explanation but even after so much time apart, she could tell he was worried.

Car seat fitted and Laura safely tucked in, he automatically opened the passenger door for her. "I live about forty minutes from here."

"You moved from your apartment?"

"Had to, it got too small."

They'd travelled out of the main city and into a more rural setting. The roads were lined with trees and sparsely lit but every once in a while she could see the lights of a house behind them. He turned down what at first glance seemed to be a quiet lane but it soon became obvious that it was actually a driveway to a sprawling single-storey house. The security light came on as he pulled up, giving them the illumination they needed to extricate the girls from the back and holding Jilly in one arm, Jack punched the code into the panel on the wall and unlocked the door, stepping aside so that she could enter.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

"**Thank you**."

"I'll get your things and give you the guided tour in a moment but first I need to get JillyBean back into bed. The living room is over there." He indicated the direction with a nod of his head. "Light switch is about shoulder-height on your left."

Looking around she was surprised by how large the room was, the place she'd been staying in would probably have fitted inside with space to spare and she found herself wondering if he had any other children. A photograph caught her eye and she put the now-sleeping Laura down on the couch and went over to pick it up, a wave of regret washing over her as she looked at the perfect family group. Allie and Jilly were smiling for the camera while Jack stood behind with his arms around their shoulders.

"You remember Allie?" He shook his head, exasperated with himself as he crossed to her side and lightly touched her arm. "You remember Allie?"

"Yes, of course I do. Is she here?"

"No, she's visiting her parents in Wisconsin."

"Oh," she carefully replaced the frame on the mantle and turned towards him. "I'm **sorry**."

"For what..?"

"Intruding... This is my mess. I should never have gotten you involved."

"I was already involved." He regarded her quizzically.

"Yes but at work not in your home. I'll call Pinter tomorrow and see if he can find me somewhere else to stay."

"If that's what you want." He gave her an unfathomable look almost as though he was searching for something that he didn't find. "So, would you rather keep Laura with you tonight or, if not, there's a spare bed in Jilly's room?"

"I don't want to put you to any more trouble, she can share with me."

"Okay," he picked up her bag. "It's this way." Walking down the hallway he pushed open a door and turned on the light.

"Wow, this is great." For a second bedroom, it was quite large with room for a couch and side-table as well as a double-bed, fitted wardrobes and various drawer units.

"Thank you, although I can't take all the credit. The women in my life chose the colour scheme and furniture; I just did all the fetching and carrying. There's an ensuite through that door," he pointed to one that was partially closed. "And if you'll follow me, I'll show the kitchen."

She walked a few paces behind him but as they passed various doors he turned to face her.

"That's Jilly's room and I'm here."

"Okay."

"There's also a study and a play room where all the toys and games are kept…"

Returning to the living room, he walked through to the other end and slid open some glass doors. "This is the kitchen and the dining area. Have you eaten? I'm sure I can come up with something if you haven't."

Sue looked at the table and laughed. "Some things never change." She pointed to the leftover pizza and he smiled a little sadly. "Lots of things never change."

"True."

"So, are you hungry?"

"No but thanks for the offer."

"No problem." Picking up the plates, he scraped them into the recycle bin before doing the washing up by hand and for the first time she noticed the slump of his shoulders and the way he tried to hide a yawn.

"You look tired."

"I am."

"Then I'll collect Laura and take her to our room so you can get some sleep. Good night."

"**Good night**. If you need anything let me know."

"Towels..?"

"In the linen cupboard in the bathroom… The bed's already made up and there are extra covers on top of the wardrobe." He started to walk away but she called him back.

"Jack…"

He tried to smother another yawn. "Yes?"

"Thank you for all this."

He shrugged. "As someone told me quite recently, that's what friends are for."

"Are we?"

"Are we what?"

"Still friends?"

He regarded her silently for a moment. "We're **friends**. Good night."

o-xxx-o


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

Signing in **bold  
**

o-xxx-o

Breakfast the next morning was rather a subdued affair. They'd all arrived in the kitchen at roughly the same time without planning it and Jack had taken charge of serving up, which left Sue with nothing to do but study him, surreptitiously of course.

He'd confessed once, during their first undercover assignment that he wasn't a 'morning' person but whatever ailed him today went far deeper, she could see it in every movement. He seemed drained, both physically and mentally, to the point where pouring orange juice and putting cereal in bowls appeared to use up more energy than he had to spare. A friend from college had suffered horrendously from bouts of depression and there had been days when she'd looked this way, but Jack Hudson and depression didn't seem to go together somehow or at least, not with the Jack she had known. He turned unexpectedly and a faint smile appeared on his lips but faded almost instantly and she had the impression that it hadn't really been meant for her at all. The feeling that she was intruding surfaced again and she came to a decision.

"Jack?"

"Mmm..?" He didn't look up as he poured milk onto the girls' cereal.

"Jack?" She ventured once more.

"Sue can't see your lips, Daddy."

He glanced her way, still appearing pre-occupied. "Sorry, I did answer."

"I couldn't see."

"I know… my fault. Was there something you needed?"

"No. I just wanted to ask what time Vincent Pinter starts work?"

"No idea." He shrugged. "O.P.R. is a law unto its self. Why?"

"I need to speak to him about finding Laura and I somewhere else to stay."

The question served to bring him back to the present and he nodded tiredly. "JillyBean, when you've finished can you take Laura and show her the playroom, please?"

"…But Daddy, it's nearly time to go."

Jack checked his watch. "We still have half-an-hour."

"You said we could go to the store and get some new colouring books on the way."

"Tomorrow…"

"But you promised." Her whiny tone was playing on his already frayed psyche.

"Jillian, the playroom now or we won't go at all." His voice was harsh and her face fell.

"Yes sir, come on Laura."

The younger girl looked to Sue. "It's okay, sweetie, you go with Jilly."

Closing his eyes, Jack blew out a calming breath and without thinking, Sue reached for his hand, feeling almost as dejected as his daughter when he moved it away.

"Are you okay?"

"On top of the world, can't you tell?"

Sarcasm was another trait she'd never experienced from him, well not directed at her anyway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You wanted to talk to me?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he screwed up his eyes. "I'm the one who should be apologising. I didn't sleep very well last night." Now there was an understatement, he thought to himself miserably. He was caught in a vicious cycle that he couldn't break free from, had been for months. The more tired he was when he went to bed, the more nightmares he had and the more nightmares he had the more tired he got. It was never ending and it was slowly eating him away inside.

"Head ache?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"I have some aspirin in my purse. I'll just be a minute." She went to fetch them and handed him a couple which he washed down with his remaining juice.

"Thank you."

"Welcome."

"Sue…"

"Yes?"

"Why…" He started over. "Do you have any idea what happened to Capono's laptop? Did he collect it that last time?"

She was sure it wasn't what he'd intended to ask but obviously he'd thought better of it. "No. A couple of weeks later, we had a visitor. He said he was a colleague of Tony's and he'd come to pick up some of his things. I'd seen them talking together a few times and they'd seemed friendly enough so I told him to take whatever he wanted. Laura wasn't feeling well and I was more concerned about her. Why, is there a problem?"

"Did you get his name?"

"He said it was Anderson, I think, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't true."

"Why, not…?"

"He didn't look like an Anderson."

"Okay," he paused for a moment as he considered his next move. "What I'm about to tell you has to remain between us or it could have serious repercussions. For some reason, Pinter wants me off this case and out of the Bureau and if he finds out I've talked to you, it'll give him all the ammunition he needs to have me terminated. You have to promise you won't discuss this with anyone, not even Bobby, or he could be in trouble too. Anything we talk about here, stays here."

"Jack, you know me well enough to…"

"I thought I did." He apologised immediately, not so much for the comment but more for voicing it aloud. "Sorry, I'm definitely not at my best this morning."

Her hurt expression changed to one of concern. "You look worn-out. It must have been a bad night."

"No, not bad… just normal," he re-checked his watch as Jilly came back to join them. "I have to go, we'll finish this tonight. In the meantime, please don't call Pinter I'll speak to him when I get in, there's something I have to check first."

"Okay. Is there anything I can do around here while you're gone?"

"No, just look after Laura."

Jilly put a glass of water down on the table and handed him a foil strip of tablets.

"Thank you, Sweetheart. I'm sorry I snapped at you before."

"That's okay."

"Then give me a hug?"

She did as she was asked, squeezing him as tightly as she could. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, JillyBean." Letting go of her reluctantly, he kissed the top of her head. "And now I'm going to have to put these away where no one can reach them."

"Why?"

"…Because, they're dangerous for anyone but me."

"I know that."

"But you're a big girl, Laura is younger and she wouldn't understand and I don't want her to find them."

"Okay." Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and she sniffled.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lifting her up, he sat her on his lap.

"I'm frightened."

"Why, Sweetheart?"

"You might forget and I don't want you to get sick again."

Swallowing several times, he freed a hand to cover his mouth, a gesture he always used when he was upset and that Sue found all too familiar. "I won't forget, I promise. And you know why?"

"No."

"Because, every morning you're going to bring me a glass of water just like you did today and that will remind me."

"Really..?"

"Really, now run along and get your things or we'll be late." He smiled softly as she skipped out of the room.

"She adores you, you know." Sue stated softly.

"The feeling's mutual. There are days when…" he tailed off.

"When, what..?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter."

Sue frowned. "You've been ill?"

"Not really." He tried to make light of it. "My heart went a bit crazy a few months ago and I had to spend a couple of days in hospital. They just had to change my meds." He laughed humourlessly. "I'm not sure what scared her most, my not being here or having Crash babysit."

"What about her mother?"

"What about her…" He turned away and started to collect up the dirty crockery, signalling that, that particular conversation was at an end.

"I can do that."

"You're sure?"

"Of course…"

"Thanks. You're welcome to go anywhere in the house. There's a big garden out the back with a slide and a swing, if the weather's okay that is. **Enjoy your day and we'll see you tonight**." He started towards the door and then stopped. "Oh, two things… If you need to contact me for any reason, use the prepaid number and not my cell."

"Okay."

"And I meant to ask, were you by any chance in Pinter's office yesterday?"

"No."

"That's odd. I could have sworn I smelt your perfume."

"This one..?" She held out her wrist so he could check it.

"Yes."

"It was Tony's favourite. I don't wear it much anymore but it's the only one I have left. How did you..?"

"I noticed it that first day in the conference room. It wasn't the same one you used to wear, I preferred that."

"You did? I'm surprised you even remember."

"I remember everything about you," he admitted in a whisper.

"Jack, I…"

"Ready, Daddy!"

"Coming..." He held her gaze for a few seconds longer, then picked up his phones and keys and went to join his daughter.

After she'd cleared away, Sue decided to go and find Laura but on impulse made a detour to the living room where she picked up the photograph she'd been looking at the night before. The happy family group stared back at her but she couldn't shake the feeling that the image was hiding far more than it revealed and there was something very wrong in the Hudson household.

o-xxx-o


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to review, especially Barbara. Sorry to hear you've hurt yourself. :-( I know that recovery can be a long-winded process but I wish you a speedy one nonetheless. In the meantime, I hope my story will take your mind off things, at least for a while.

o-xxx-o

Bobby Manning hated it when the bullpen was this quiet. With most of their non-urgent cases having been handed over to other units, his trainee Leyla away on a course at Quantico, D'Angelo off doing whatever it was he did and Jack briefing O.P.R., he was at a loose end. So loose, in fact, that he was considering taking an early lunch until the Supervisor put his head around the door.

"CR3."

He exchanged glances with their rotor, the only other person in the office. "Uh-oh, Sparky's not happy."

"How can you tell? He always looks like that."

"Easy."

"You'll have to give me some pointers one day, because I've been here almost two years and I still haven't figured it out."

"Crash…" Jack's voice echoed down the corridor.

"Well, that's new." Elise laughed.

"Told ya, gotta go."

o-xxx-o

Following behind, he almost had a head-on with the 'cleaning' crew, who were just vacating the room.

"It's all clear, Agent Hudson."

"Thanks."

Bobby waited for them to leave and then closed the door. "I thought they swept for bugs first thing?"

"I asked them to do it again."

"You know, paranoia doesn't look too good on the old CV, mate"

"I wish that's all it was." He poured himself a glass of water from the bottle on the table then offered it across but his colleague declined. "On the way in this morning, I was trying to figure out how Pinter knew I'd called Tara."

"I guess D'Angelo must have told him."

"That was my first thought but he couldn't have, he'd already gone before I made the call. I checked downstairs, he went straight from my office to the A.D.A. and that only leaves you or me, unless…"

"Someone's monitoring your cell." Bobby flopped down onto the nearest chair.

"That's why…" he rummaged around in his jacket pocket. "…I picked these up last night." He slid a brand new phone along the polished surface of the table.

"Aww, you shouldn't have. Christmas is still a month away."

Jack was clearly not amused. "I've added my number. We'll use them for anything we want to keep to ourselves; everything else goes through your normal cell."

"Two new phones, isn't that how we caught Wes?" Bobby asked, studying the device.

"I bought them from different stores on opposite sides of town and paid cash." He sat down heavily at the head of the table. "I think I'm getting too old for all of this."

"Not you, Sparks. You just need some r and r. A long vacation on a desert island somewhere, with bikini-clad, native girls fulfilling your every desire."

"Sounds like heaven," Jack sighed wistfully. "But I think you're forgetting something."

"What's that?"

"…A certain four-year-old who would be bored to tears."

"Okay then, a desert island with a crèche… And that's four and three-quarters... mustn't forget the three-quarters, very important to a kid."

"And you would know." He stifled a yawn.

"Very true... Did you manage to get that early night we were talking about?"

"No."

"Jack!"

"Hey, I tried. I did the whole thing… Pizza from the take-out, silly games and I was just about to get into bed when the phone rang."

"Who was it?"

"Sue."

"What did she want at that time of night?"

"Actually, it wasn't that late." He admitted, his face flushing self-consciously. "Capono paid her a visit yesterday, turned the place upside-down."

The irritation in Bobby's voice was tempered by concern. "Hell, are they both okay?"

"They're fine, he waited until they were out but he called her later, seems he wants his laptop."

"She hasn't got it, has she?"

"No. According to Sue, a colleague of his paid her a visit a while back and took it with him."

"And obviously didn't pass it on. Hold on a jiffy, she called you?"

"On my cell…"

"How'd she know your number?"

Jack shrugged. "I assume from the message I left in New York."

"Couldn't be, she never got it."

"What?"

"I thought she would have told you. We were talking while you went to get Jilly the other day. I mentioned your visit and asked her why she never called you back."

"Bobby…"

"She never got the message, mate. She had no idea you'd even been there."

"I guess that explains that." Blowing out a breath, he closed his eyes. "I should have known, maybe if…" His thoughts were taking him down a route he didn't want to travel.

"Jack?"

"She was staying in some dive over on the south-east side. It was the kind of area we'd think twice about going into without back-up."

"Yeah but O.P.R. would have had someone keeping an eye on her."

"Until yesterday lunchtime... Pinter wouldn't admit it but I spoke directly to S.O.G. and they confirmed that they'd been told to stand down."

"You're telling me he housed an important witness, who used to work for the Bureau, in one of the most notorious parts of D.C. and left her without any protection?"

"That's about the size of it, except he insists she was living there already."

"Just what the hell is going on here, Sparks?"

"I wish I knew, Crash… I wish I knew."

"So, where is she now?"

Jack hesitated pretty sure he could anticipate his friend's reaction to what he was going to say. "Safe."

"Where..?"

"My place," in the next instant he knew he'd been right.

"Geez mate, what were you thinking!?"

"I couldn't just leave her there."

"There are buildings called hotels. You know the ones… They have beds, room service…"

"And you think she and Laura would have been safe with no one looking out for them? This is Special Agent Anthony Capono we're talking about, not exactly your average crazy."

"I know that."

"At least this way I have a chance of protecting them."

"Jack, don't you think you've got enough on your plate, already? You take on much more and you're gonna go under."

"I'm okay."

"Like hell!" His voice had risen as his fears for his best friend turned to anger.

"You think I'd be any better off if I left her to fend for herself and something happened to either her or her daughter?"

"She could always go back to New York or Ohio. She doesn't have to be in D.C."

"Not our decision, remember? Pinter wanted her here."

The Aussie changed tack. "And what about Jilly, have you thought about her? What happens if Capono, or any of the characters he's mixed up with, decide to pay you a visit?"

"You really believe I'd put her in any danger? Damn it Crash, I thought you knew me better than that." He had an air of disappointment and defeat about him.

"I know you'd never do it intentionally but face it Sparks, when it comes to Sue you've always let your heart rule your head."

Jack had to admit he had a point and the last thing he needed was to fall out with the only person he could rely on. "I'm pretty sure, to quote Myles, Pinter has hung her out to dry and it's my fault. Once I'd told him about the cloned hard-drive and he had the answers to his questions, he didn't need her anymore. I couldn't just leave her there." He repeated, leaning back and closing his eyes, too tired to continue the argument any longer; a fact that wasn't lost on the Aussie.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, mate, I shouldn't have sounded off like that, I'm just worried about you."

"That's okay," he smiled sadly. "And thanks."

"So what's our next move?"

"Darned if I know... By the way, I asked if she was in Pinter's office yesterday and she said she wasn't."

"You believe her?"

"Honestly? I have no reason not to, but… you know." He stretched and sat up a little straighter. "Have we had anything from Tara yet?"

"Nada…"

"I'll give her another call later."

"Okie-dokey, and in the meantime, lunch..? I'll even buy."

"You're on. Oh, one more thing…"

"What's that?"

"Someone was watching me in the street outside Sue's last night. I didn't see them but I know they were there and I'd made sure I wasn't followed."

"How would they have known where you were going? You used the prepaid phone to talk to her, right?"

Jack thought about it for a moment. "Yes, but she called me on the other one first."

"And she told you where she was?"

"Not until we switched."

"Then how did they get the address?"

"Pinter, perhaps..?"

"You know something, Sparky? I think this paranoia of yours might just be contagious."

o-xxx-o

It was gone 3pm when he knocked on Jack's door again. "Here you go I brought something to cheer you up." He put a mug of coffee down onto the desk.

"Thanks but I think it's gonna take a lot more than that."

"Well, it just so happens you're in luck." Walking out into the hallway he whistled and a few seconds later Tara walked into the office. Jack immediately jumped up to give her a welcoming hug.

"I hope that means you're pleased to see me and it's not just because you need my help." She grinned.

"…An awful lot of one and a little, of the other."

"I'll leave you two alone."

After he'd gone Tara looked around, noticing very little had changed since D had been in residence, giving her the distinct impression that Jack was merely occupying the office and not treating it as his own. There was no model car on his desk as there had been in the bullpen and very few personal items in sight. "Unit Supervisor..? You know I never would have thought."

"Me either."

"Are you enjoying it?"

"Hate it," he declared honestly.

"Then, why..?"

"…Long story."

"Which, you don't want to tell me."

He shrugged. "So, what are you doing here, I thought you were going to mail a couple of disks from Chicago?"

"I was but twenty-four hours later, I was informed I was coming back to D.C. and I had to report to you. So here I am."

"Do you have any idea where the order came from?"

"I thought it was you."

"No."

"Well, it certainly wasn't the O.P.R. guy… he definitely wasn't thrilled to see me. I could do some digging; see what I can find out."

"I've missed you, Ms Williams." He smiled apologetically. "I mean Mrs Abbott."

"You know, I don't think I'm ever going to get used to being called that and it's good to be back. Is anyone else here apart from you and Bobby?"

"Myles, but only for this case..."

"Everything okay between the two of you..?"

He was convinced he was beginning to sound like a broken record. "It was a long time ago."

"True. So, do you have some place I can call my own?"

"I'll show you." Sliding his chair backwards, he stood up.

"You've forgotten your coffee."

"No, actually I haven't."

"Bobby?"

"Bobby," he confirmed, grimacing. "It really is good to have you back Tara, even if it's only temporary."

o-xxx-o

.


	13. Chapter 13

"Good morning." Jack wandered into the kitchen fresh from the shower and drying his hair.

"Daddy, you're up!"

"Hey, it's not that late."

Jilly rushed over to him, arms outstretched for a hug but instead he dumped the damp towel on her head. "That was mean," she protested brushing the offending object onto the parquet floor.

"I know, but it was fun." Scooping her up into his arms, he swung her around several times

"Dizzy, Daddy."

"Sorry, Sweetheart," He held her tightly until the room stopped spinning and then gave her a kiss. "Better?"

"Yes."

"Good." Placing her back on her chair, he turned to face Sue when she spoke to him.

"I made breakfast for the girls, some of which you'd probably be wearing, if you hadn't stopped when you did. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thanks... I'll get something while I'm out."

"You're not going to work today, are you?" Jilly asked sulkily.

"Of course not, but its Saturday and you know what that means."

Her face fell even further, "shopping day."

"That's right."

"But I hate shopping!"

"I know," he sat down beside her and tousled her hair. "You tell me that every week and what do I say?"

She sighed. "You hate it too but it has to be done."

"Yep... So, I want you to tell Sue what you need and ask her nicely to write it down for you."

"I can write it myself."

"I know that but the weatherman says it's going to rain, a lot, and I'd like to get started as soon as possible."

"I can't help being slow, I'm little."

"Slow is good," Sue intervened. "It means you're doing it properly but you don't want daddy to get wet and cold, do you?"

"No."

"Then I think you should let me help."

"Okay," she gave in grudgingly and getting to his feet, Jack signed a grateful '**thank you**'.

"Make sure you put down colouring books."

"Really..?"

"Really…"

"Thank you!" She paused a moment and then looked at him with the same puppy dog expression that Sue had seen him use when he wanted something. "Daddy…" She wheedled.

"Yes?"

"Can I please have a join-the-dots book, too?"

"Add it to the list, then." He shook his head, walking away, but then stopped. "Sue, could you put down anything you want for yourself and Laura? Better be specific with brands and sizes or I'll just grab the first thing I see on the shelf."

"My Auntie says he does that a lot," Jilly confirmed and Sue laughed.

"That'll be quite enough out of you, young lady," he advanced towards her, hands outstretched as though he was about to tickle her and she ran away squealing but before he could give chase his cell went off. "Sorry, I have to take this." Picking up the discarded towel he walked out into the hall. "The list please, JillyBean... Hudson…"

He returned ten minutes later wearing his black leather jacket and carrying his keys. "All done..?"

"We think so." Sue handed it to him, shaking her head.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just never imagined you doing the weekend store run instead of living on take-out and microwave dinners."

"I'll have you know I also do laundry; sew on the odd button and vacuum. I guess we all have to grow up sometime. Well, apart from Bobby that is. Jilly, are you ready?"

She walked over to him slowly, carrying a glass of water as though it was precious cargo.

"Already done Sweetheart, I was running late so I took it while I was in the bathroom."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart."

Sue looked over at him and screwed up her face.

"No pun intended. Put your coat on please."

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes."

"But I want to stay here and play."

"Jilly."

"Jack, if she doesn't want to go I can look after her."

"Sue…"

"You don't want her to get caught in the rain as well, do you? And you'll get done so much quicker on your own." She gave the little girl a cheeky wink.

Knowing he was beaten, Jack gave up. "If you're sure you don't mind?"

"It's fine."

"Thanks. Jillian, come here please." She followed him out to the hallway. "I want you to behave yourself and do everything, Sue tells you, okay?"

"Yes Daddy."

"I mean it. Don't forget Sue can't hear, so you'll have to be her ears and listen out for Laura. And don't open the door to anyone while I'm gone, you understand me?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good girl, now give me a hug." He spoke to her a few moments longer then kissed her goodbye. Stepping outside, he pulled up his collar and made a quick call before getting into his car and driving away.

After he'd gone, Sue cleared away then joined the two girls who were waiting patiently in the living room. "So," she sat down and looked at them expectantly. "What would you like to do?"

Jilly stood in front of her, shuffling shyly from foot-to-foot, her hands clasped behind her back. "Can we play dress-up?"

"One more time..?"

"**Sorry D-R-E-S-S U-P**."

"Oh, **dress-up**." She made the proper sign which the little girl copied earning herself a beaming smile. "You know, I used to love doing that when I was your age."

"You did?"

"**Yes**."

"Mommy always lets me but Auntie Allie won't. She says her clothes are too spensive."

"**E-X-P-E-N-S-I-V-E**. It means they cost a lot of money." She paused as she finished processing what she'd read. "Did you say _Auntie_ Allie?"

"That's right." Walking towards the fireplace, the youngster stopped to slide a small stepping-stool out from under the coffee table and then took down the picture on the mantel. "That's me and that's Auntie Allie. Daddy wasn't meant to be in it but he snuck up on us and made Uncle Ray mad."

"Uncle Ray?"

"Auntie Allie and Uncle Ray, they're 'specting twins."

"I thought she was your mommy."

"No." Her smile faded; her face clouding over as she returned the photograph to its rightful place. "Can we play now?"

"I hate to disappoint you, sweetie, but I'm afraid I don't have many clothes with me and you won't fit in to Laura's. I tell you what we _can_ do though, how about I do your hair and put some make-up on your face?"

"You mean real lipstick and everything?" Sue nodded and she started to bounce up and down excitedly. "We can surprise daddy when he comes home!"

o-xxx-o

The house was quiet, too quiet… He'd checked with the surveillance team that had been secreted outside and they'd had nothing untoward to report and that left only one thing – mischief was afoot. Dumping the last of the main grocery bags onto the kitchen counter, he called out to let them know he was back and, eventually, Sue came out to meet him.

"Hi. That didn't take long."

"No, thank goodness. You were right about leaving Jilly here, its chucking it down outside. So..?"

"So…"

"What's going on?"

"What makes you think there's something going on?"

He gave her an old-fashioned look and quirked one eyebrow. "Parental instinct... Something I'm becoming quite familiar with."

Sue laughed. "Jilly has a surprise for you."

"Should I be worried?"

"No." She stole a glance over her shoulder. "She's in the living room but you have to close your eyes."

"O-kay…" He looked at her suspiciously but did as he was asked.

"You can open them now."

"Surprise, Daddy!"

As Sue watched, his smile disappeared to be replaced first by shock and then anger.

"Take it off!"

"But Daddy," her face crumpled and her bottom lip started to quiver.

"Jillian Samantha Hudson, go to the bathroom and wash it off right now!"

The little girl glanced at Sue and her eyes teared up. "You spoiled everything Daddy, I hate you!" She fled from the room sobbing her heart out while Jack stared after her, looking as though he'd just been sucker-punched.

"She didn't mean it, Jack. She's just upset because she thought it would make you smile." Laura had started to cry too and Sue picked her up to soothe her. "Jack..?"

There were so many different emotions warring inside him that he felt as though he was going to explode and all he could think about was escape. Without a word, he spun on his heel, walked out through the front door and drove away much faster than was safe for the current road conditions.

o-xxx-o


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**Thank you once again to my four faithful reviewers and Barbara, who I'm sure is still reading this. Without your input I'd probably have given up posting by now. :-)

o-xxx-o

Looking at the clock, Sue knew she'd have to call someone. She'd put it off in the hope he'd return of his own accord but he'd been gone for over eight hours without any word and she was worried about him. The expression on his face as he'd left had been spawning all sorts of nightmare scenarios in her mind, each progressively scarier than the last.

Jilly had been in tears on and off for most of the afternoon and evening, refusing to eat or go to bed until her daddy came home but in the end she'd cried herself to sleep. Sue had been to check on her a few minutes earlier and she'd been lying curled up on the duvet clutching Sparky, her teddy bear, tightly against her as though she was afraid he would leave her too.

Taking out her BlackBerry, she called his number but receiving no reply switched to Bobby's, stopping halfway through to change to the pre-paid one that Jack had told her to use in case of emergency. If he was right and O.P.R was monitoring his calls, the last thing she wanted was to give them the rope to hang him with.

"What's up mate? Can't sleep?"

"Bobby, it's Sue..."

"Sorry, what..?" He'd fallen asleep watching a documentary on TV and his brain wasn't quite back on line. "Where's Sparky?"

"I don't know. Bobby, I'm worried about him."

The tone of her voice was as effective as a splash of cold water and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Jilly wanted to surprise him but he went nuts and started shouting at her, then he took off and he hasn't come back."

"He shouted? Jack never even raises his voice to her. I think you'd better start from the beginning." Trapping the phone between his ear and shoulder, he listened while he grabbed his jacket and searched for his keys. "Okay, I'm on my way out. I'll find him even if it takes me all night."

"You might want to start with the hospitals."

"What? Why?" The suggestion made his blood run cold.

"He was really upset when he left. It was pouring with rain and he was driving much too fast."

"I'll do that. Are you alright there on your own or do you want me to call someone to stay with you?"

"I'm okay. Just find Jack, Jilly's scared to death and so am I."

"Make that three of us. I'll call." He hung up and ran to the door.

o-xxx-o

Thankfully, there had been no sign of him in any of the Emergency Rooms but it left Bobby with a dilemma. None of the places his friend would normally have frequented were open at that time of night and he was pretty sure he wouldn't have gone into the office, which meant a long slog around the D.C. night scene. Two hours later, having been both drenched and dried out numerous times, he sat down on the nearest wall to regroup. A ping from his cell startled him. "…About time, Sparks."

Taking the pre-paid from his inside jacket pocket, he checked it but found no signs of life. Cursing, he switched it for his main phone and let out a relieved sigh when he saw the light flashing to indicate a message but when he opened it the sender came up as unknown, the text giving the name and location of a local bar.

He parked on the main road where there was more light and walked through the backstreets in a less than salubrious part of the city. The bar, when he found it, was exactly as he'd expected, barely lit, sparsely furnished and kind-of sleazy. There were one or two women plying their wares but for the most part the patrons were male but had no interest in what they had to offer. The air smelled stale with a mixture of cheap alcohol and body odour that would have made a lesser person gag and he was beginning to think he'd been given duff gen but as he turned to leave, he caught sight of a familiar face in the mirror on the wall behind the counter. Pushing past a couple of drunks he made his way to the bar and sat down next to his friend.

"Nice place, I'm surprised you've never mentioned it."

Jack didn't react or even acknowledge his existence, just sat nursing a glass with what appeared to be bourbon inside.

"I didn't think you liked that stuff."

"I don't."

"Then why..?" Before he could complete his question, the bartender approached him, wiping a glass on a towel which could only have succeeded in making it dirtier.

"What'll it be?"

"Coffee..?" The Aussie asked hopefully

The man snorted. "Does this look like a Starbucks, to you?"

"Guess not. A coke, then..."

"I assume you mean the drink?"

Bobby scowled at him.

"Okay, okay… What yer want in it?"

"Nothing thanks, straight up," he pre-empted the man's next comment. "I'm the designated driver."

"Right… Damn stupid rule if you ask me." He leaned in conspiratorially, putting his hand up to shield his mouth. "Only don't tell the Feds I said so."

"They won't hear it from me." This time it was Jack's turn to snort.

"You want ice."

"No," he realised in the nick of time that the man intended to put it in the glass he'd been drying. "You can leave it in the bottle; just crack the lid for me."

"Whatever. How about your friend..?"

"He's okay."

"Yeah well, that's a matter of opinion… Seven shots and zero conversation, doesn't seem okay to me."

Picking up his glass, Jack downed the remaining contents. "Make it eight."

"Sparky, don't you think…"

"Eight," he repeated a little louder.

Bobby shook his head. "You heard the man."

After they'd been served he returned his attention to his friend. "What's going on, mate?"

"I'm having a quiet drink." Despite the amount he'd consumed he sounded remarkably coherent making Bobby wonder just how used he was to drinking that much alcohol.

"Sue called me, she's worried about you."

"It's a bit late now… Seven years late. Seven drinks, seven years… There's something poetic in that, don't you think?"

The bartender was hanging around a little too closely so Bobby scanned the room, spotting a couple of empty seats in a quiet corner. "Let's go over there, shall we?"

"I like it here." Despite his protest he almost slithered off the bar stool and onto his feet, staggering slightly but managing to keep his dignity.

"You're going to feel like crap in the morning."

"Nothing new about that," he brushed away his colleague's helping hand. "I can do it."

"So, what happened, mate?"

"Everything went to hell as usual." He shrugged. "For once I was having a pretty good day. When I got home Sue told me that Jilly had a surprise for me, I opened my eyes and…" His gaze strayed to the drink in his hand and when he looked up again the pain on his face warred with the anger in his eyes. "She looked so much like her damn mother, standing there, and I lost it. I know I shouted at her, I don't even remember what I said. I just couldn't handle seeing her like that. I could see how upset she was and I wanted to stop, tell her I was sorry but I couldn't get the words out. She ran away from me and I left and now she hates me. I hate me. What's wrong with me that I could do that to a little girl?"

"I keep trying to tell you, you're this close to breaking down completely. Jilly didn't mean it, she loves you, mate. Give her a few days and she'll have forgotten it ever happened."

"I doubt that and anyway we don't have a few days." He took a quick swig of his drink, grimacing at the taste and the way it burned as it went down.

"I see you've booked Tuesday afternoon off."

"Yeah, I promised Jilly."

"And Wednesday… Going anywhere special?"

Jack rummaged around in his pocket, pulled out an official looking envelope and handed it to him.

"What is it?" His friend didn't reply but his face said it all. "The court hearing..?"

"Yep"

He quickly read through it. "Geez Sparks, that's lousy timing. Can't you get it postponed?"

"I tried. Believe me I tried."

"Does JillyBean know?"

"I was going to tell her tonight. I don't know what I'll do if they take her away from me, Crash. She's the only reason I have to get up in the morning."

Bobby shook his head sadly, stunned by just how much he sounded like Joe Wolfe and in a strange way it gave him a modicum of sympathy for the guy even if he was a bounty hunter. "I know. Come on, let's get you home."

Jack made it to the door unaided but when the fresh air hit him, he swayed and the Aussie had to catch him before he hit the cold, wet concrete. He guided him backwards until he was leaning against the wall. "You stay here, okay. I'll get the car."

o-xxx-o

The headlights sweeping across the window attracted Sue's attention and she rushed to the door to greet them, the sight of Jack being supported by the taller man reigniting her concern until she drew closer to help and smelled the alcohol fumes on his clothes and his breath.

"He's been drinking?" It was both a question and exclamation. "Jilly's been crying her heart out thinking the worst and he's been propping up a bar!"

"I didn't mean to, I was juss…" It was fortunate that she couldn't hear how slurred his speech had become but it didn't lessen her anger and she turned away.

"What kind of a father are you? You leave your daughter alone with someone she barely knows so you can go out and get drunk?"

Even in his inebriated state he could see that her fury was borne from more than what he'd done. "I'm sorry, I… Damn it, will you look at me!" He grabbed for her arm to turn her around but missed, stumbling forward as she side-stepped him.

"Go take a shower and sleep it off, I'll call Pinter in the morning and ask him to find us somewhere else to stay."

"If that's what you want." He was sobering up fast. "I have to say night to Jilly."

"She's only been asleep for a few hours leave her until tomorrow."

"No, you don't understand, I _have_ to do it now."

She stood and blocked his path. "No, you don't understand. My daughter's in there as well and you're not going anywhere near her while you're in that state."

"Sue…" Bobby tried to intervene but she cut him off.

"Please get him to bed and keep him away from the girls' room." A little voice inside her was telling her that she was overreacting but after spending hours worrying that he might be hurt, all the emotion was coming out in an angry rant. Walking away before she said anything they might both regret, she went into the youngsters' bedroom herself and closed the door.

"Come on mate, let's get you to bed."

"But Jilly will..."

"Not tonight, Sue's right, you need to sober up before you see her."

Once everything was quiet, Bobby slipped on his jacket and picked up his keys but then, on impulse, sat down and took a notebook and pen out of his pocket.

_ Sue, I know you're upset and you probably have every right to be but please consider cutting him some slack. Remember you've been out of his life for a long time and while yours can't have been easy at least it was of your own making. Jack's been going through hell for the past couple of years… still is, come to that and none of it is his fault, although I know he'd disagree with me._

_ Piece of advice from an old friend, don't call Pinter, he won't help you. He's a leech; he'll bleed you dry then leave you to fend for yourself. That's why Sparky took you both in that night and, as far as we know, O.P.R. has no clue where you are but if they find out, Jack stands to lose a whole lot more than just his job. And you were wrong to stop him seeing Jilly but I think you'll find that out for yourself tomorrow._

Folding the note in half, he slipped it under the bedroom door; turned out the lights and made his way home.

o-xxx-o


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Another chapter for you! Tangosalsa, I think I managed to confuse you there. :-) Kristen has no part in this story, I was just using a reference to an old episode, didn't mean to scare you!. Sorry about that.

As always - signing in **bold**

o-xxx-o

Unfortunately Bobby had been right, he felt like death warmed over. His head was throbbing. The light through the windows was way too bright; his stomach felt like it was tying itself in knots… the list went on and on… but worse than all of those things was not knowing, how Jilly would react when she saw him. It was already well after noon and he knew it was time to put in an appearance and face whatever was to come, even though all he really wanted to do, was crawl back under the covers and sleep the day away.

Barefoot and dressed in jeans and sweater, he opened his door very quietly in the hope that he could make it to the kitchen and grab a strong, black coffee without being seen, but when he approached the partially closed glass doors, he could see Sue sitting at the table with Laura. Taking a breath, he slid one back, wincing at the faint scraping sound he'd never really noticed before.

"It's fresh." Sue stated as he took a mug from the drainer and he closed his eyes for a moment to prepare himself before facing her so she could see his reply.

"Thanks." He poured some and joined her at the table, not because he particularly wanted to, but the room was jumping in and out of focus and he thought he might actually fall over if he didn't sit down.

"You look awful."

"I feel worse and before you say it, I know it's a self-inflicted wound."

"I wasn't going to say anything." She lifted Laura and put her into Jilly's old high chair. "Can I get you something to eat?"

His insides rebelled at the just thought of it. "No, thank you."

"You should have something to help settle your stomach." Her comments were dispassionate, as though she was merely being polite.

"Maybe later... Have you called Pinter?"

"No." It was in situations like these that she wished she could hear the tone of the question. "Did you want me to?"

"It's up to you," he shrugged. "You can't trust him but if you'd rather take your chances with O.P.R. I won't stop you."

"Bobby said it could cost you your job if he found out I was here."

"Very possibly but, if I'm being honest, I don't think I give a… I don't think I care at this point. I have more important things to worry about." He sipped his coffee tentatively.

"Anything I can help with?"

"I think you helped enough last night," he snapped back unintentionally and then followed it with an apology. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"You should if it's what you thought."

"I'm not sure what I think anymore, I just want it all to go away. Sue, can I ask you…" He stopped when she raised her hand from the table to shush him.

"**J-I-L-L-Y behind you**" The panic in his eyes shocked her. "**Talk to her**."

"**What I say**?"

Putting his mug on the table, he took a calming breath and turned to face her. She was still in her pyjamas, clutching her teddy bear and staring at him with wide, sorrowful, brown eyes.

"Sweetheart, come here." He held out his arms but she remained where she was. "Please don't be angry with me."

Her bottom lip quivered. "You broke your promise. You said you'd always come and say good night when you got home, no matter how late it was."

"I know and I'm very sorry."

"I thought you'd gone away and left me, like Mommy."

"JillyBean…" He held out his arms again but she turned away and walked back to her room.

"You promised, Daddy."

Sue watched his hands tighten into fists as he swallowed over and over in an effort to stop himself from breaking down but a lone tear managed to escape and ran down his cheek and at last she understood what Bobby had tried to tell her. "Jack, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Why would you? You've been out of my life for seven years without so much as a postcard to let me know you were okay. I missed you. I missed having someone I could talk to… I needed..." He fell silent, his head not liking what his heart was confessing. "It doesn't matter now anyhow, you have Capono and I have… this."

"Jack," she fought back tears of her own. "I don't…"

The chair made a loud scraping noise as he pushed it back and stood up. "I would never have done anything to hurt Laura last night, I couldn't… I thought you knew that," he whispered sadly. "I need to make a couple of calls."

A while later he walked into the living room where she was trying to entertain a fractious Laura who couldn't understand why Jilly wouldn't play with her. "Bobby's on his way over, I have to go pick up my car."

"Okay."

"Do you know what happened to the other bags from yesterday?"

"They're over in the corner by the window."

"Thanks." He set them down on the coffee table, opening the first one. "Jilly's colouring books," he sighed.

"And her, join-the-dots, book?"

"Wouldn't forget that," closing it again he moved to the other. "She told me Laura liked 'Winnie the Pooh'."

"That's right, although her favourite is **P-I-G-L-E-T**."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and delved into the bag. "Well at least I got something right yesterday." He pulled out a cuddly toy. "May I?"

"Of course, you didn't need to ask."

"I wasn't sure if…" Kneeling in front of the couch, he held it out to her and she grabbed it excitedly.

"Pigwit! Look Mommy, its Pigwit!"

"What do you say, sweetie?"

"'ank you, Jack," she put her arms around his neck and gave him a hug.

"And thank you honey, I really needed that." Standing again, he wiped a hand over his mouth before returning to the shopping. "I know it must be hard to keep her entertained while you're stuck indoors, so I picked these up as well." He handed Sue a half-dozen DVDs. "They're all Disney and they're close-captioned, I checked." He hesitated for a moment before taking out another pile "…All chick-flicks and, according to the assistant, the best around."

Lost for words, she signed a '**thank you'**.

"No problem… **D-O-O-R-B-E-L-L** Can you explain to Jilly if she asks for me?"

Sue watched their conversation until they left.

"Everything okay, Sparks?"

"Not really."

"You look like hell, mate. Did you get any sleep?"

"Once I'd stopped throwing up, although I'm not sure whether I fell asleep or just passed out."

"Like I've always said, it's not the drink that gets you, it's the fresh air when it hits."

"I thought fresh air was supposed to be good for you."

"Have you _looked_ in a mirror today? Where's Jilly?"

"In her room…"

"Is she very upset?"

"On a scale of 1-10..?"

Bobby glanced over the shorter man's shoulder giving Sue an 'I tried to tell you' look. "Sorry mate, I should have stepped in when…"

"Forget it... my fault, no one else's. Shall we go?"

"Rightie-o… Do you have any idea where you left it?"

"That's a very good question." They both got into Bobby's car.

"One I'm guessing you don't have an answer to?"

"All I remember is going into a skid and scaring the hell out of myself. It was a rural road so I parked on the grass verge and started walking until someone stopped and offered me a ride."

"And would this someone have been male or female?"

"Male."

"That was rotten luck. I hope you remembered to lock the doors or it'll mean a trip to see Randy and he will not be amused. It's a pity you didn't text me then instead of from the bar, would have made things a whole lot simpler."

Jack looked at him in surprise, "I know I wasn't exactly sober last night but I'm almost certain I didn't text you."

"Well someone did. How do you think I managed to find that place?"

"Never thought about it," his friend confessed.

"Here," taking his phone from his pocket he handed it over. "Message should still be there."

"It is but I couldn't have sent it. I didn't even know the name of the bar until I read this, let alone the address."

"In that case, you're definitely being followed, mate and I don't know if it's a good thing or not."

o-xxx-o

He was back within the hour and Sue settled Laura on the couch and went to meet him, his face was deathly pale as he leaned against the front door.

"Find it?"

"Yes, thanks. JillyBean..?"

She shook her head 'no' and he pushed himself upright.

"I think I'll have to go lie down before I fall down."

"Okay." She stroked his arm sympathetically and for a moment he let her, then he groaned.

"Sorry, I think I'm gonna be sick again." Holding his hand over his mouth he made a dash for his room and after he'd disappeared inside, she followed in his wake and knocked on Jilly's door.

o-xxx-o

He'd slept for close to two hours and it had begun to get dark but while he still felt rough, the rest had definitely helped. A faint noise over by the door attracted his attention and he switched on the lamp to find Jilly watching him, her face still sad enough to make his heart ache.

"Hi."

"Did I wake you up? I didn't mean to."

"No sweetheart, I was already awake."

"Are you alright now? Sue said you drank something that was greedy with you and made you sick."

Jack massaged his temples as he tried to figure out what she was trying to say. "You mean I drank something that disagreed with me."

"That's what I said."

He smiled. "I'm okay JillyBean but you know what will make me feel even better?"

"What?"

"…A hug from my favourite girl… Please, sweetheart?"

She barely hesitated, running across the room, clambering up onto the bed and snuggling into his arms; her small hand sliding as far round his waist as she could reach. "I'm sorry I made you mad, Daddy. I won't do it again."

Jack held her a little tighter. "You didn't honey, daddy made daddy mad."

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't but that's okay. And I'm sorry for not saying good night when I came home and breaking my promise."

"Sue said you weren't well and she sent you straight to bed the way Mommy does when I'm sick, so you didn't really break it."

"Still love me?"

"For ever and ever..."

Kissing the top of her head, he screwed up his eyes as he fought the urge to cry.

"I can hear your heart beating."

"That's good to know."

Jilly wriggled out of his arms. "Did you take your pill today?"

"No sweetheart, I forgot."

"I'll get you some water." She ran to the door.

"If you look in the living room, you'll find a carrier bag with your new books in it."

She disappeared through the door, smiling for the first time that day.

o-xxx-o

"That's silly, Daddy!"

Sue popped her head round the door, grinning when she found them both sitting with Jilly's new books spread all over the bed. Jack was concentrating on colouring something with a bright green crayon, a red one held in his teeth.

"No, Daddy! The flower is supposed to be red not green! The leaves should be green."

He removed the crayon from his mouth so he could speak. "This is an Australian flower. Everything is upside down there."

"Uncle Bobby's not upside down."

"That's because he's here and not in Australia."

"If you say so," she seemed to accept his explanation and Sue laughed.

"Oh, hi…" Jack's cheeks flushed, a little embarrassed at being caught.

"I'm just putting Laura to bed and then I'll bring you both some cereal and juice."

"You don't have to do that we can come and get it."

"No, you stay put, I'll be back."

"I wish Sue could stay with us all the time, Daddy."

"She can't honey, she has her own life."

"Is she married?"

"Yes sweetheart, she is."

"Oh. Where's Laura's daddy?"

"That's one too many questions and now I think we should tidy up, don't you?"

"One more picture, pleeease."

"Just one and when you've had something to eat it will be time for bed."

"Can I have a story?"

"What about Laura?"

He stared after her when she ran off but she came back almost immediately. "She says she'd like one, so that makes two stories."

Sometimes her logic astounded him. "One story and then sleep young lady, I have to go to work in the morning."

Two stories later, he quietly pulled the door until it was only open a crack and went in search of Sue who was curled up on the couch, watching one of the movies he'd brought in.

"Hi" She reached for the remote.

"Sorry to interrupt but I wanted to say **thank you**. I don't know what you said to her but I really am very grateful."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could put things right especially since it was my fault in the first place."

"No, it was mine and I apologise for the way I've behaved this weekend, I don't make a habit of it. Are you going to stay?"

"Until you find Tony, if that's alright?"

"It's fine. Please carry on with your movie. I'm going to have a shower and an early night or I'm not going to be any use to anyone tomorrow. I'll make sure everything's secure first."

"Good night."

"I hope so. **Good night**."

She frowned as she watched him leave. For a while this evening he'd been the Jack she remembered but something was telling her it wouldn't last. He was hurting deep inside and she was pretty sure this was only a temporary respite.

o-xxx-o


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Thank you for reading and reviewing! Signing in **bold**.

o-xxx-o

Thankfully, Monday had been totally uneventful. Jack hadn't been looking forward to his briefing with O.P.R. as they'd made zero progress on the case but as luck would have it, Pinter had been called away and had to reschedule their meeting. Bobby had concentrated on his duties in the bullpen and Myles and Rodriguez had followed up a potential lead in Baltimore, which had left him to his own devices. He'd deliberately immersed himself in a backlog of paperwork, in an effort to distract his mind from what lay ahead over the next couple of days and worked all the way through 'til home time uninterrupted.

o-xxx-o

Yawning, he cleared away the breakfast things on a Tuesday morning that had dawned despite his wishes to the contrary. Looking out of the window onto the garden, he could tell by the way the sun glistened off the early morning frost and the bird feeders swayed in the stiff breeze that it was going to be chilly outside and he made a mental note to make sure Jilly was wrapped up warmly. Sue's voice startled him out of his musings.

"Good morning."

He turned to face her. "Hi."

"You're up early."

"I have the afternoon off, so I need to get a jump on the day."

"Oh, are you going anywhere nice?"

Before he could reply, Jilly walked in rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Ready."

Jack automatically crouched down in front of her; Sue had noticed he often did that, putting himself on her level so they could talk face-to-face. "Now don't forget, I'm going to pick you up at lunchtime and I need you to be ready. I'll speak to Miss Matheson when I drop you off and ask her to tell you when its time."

"Yes Daddy."

As he got up he checked his pockets. "I've left my cell in the bedroom. Sue, could you see Jilly's coat is done up properly for me? It looks like a cold one out there."

"Sure." She called the little girl over and fastened her top button, "all done."

"Thank you."

"Are you going somewhere nice?" She repeated the question she'd asked Jack earlier and the youngster's smile faded

"We're going to see Mommy. I think Daddy wants to talk to her and I'm…"

"JillyBean, it's time to go."

"Coming... B**ye S-U-E**."

He'd succeeded in keeping himself occupied for a few hours but the closer it drew to lunchtime, the more agitated he'd become, his thoughts running off in all directions and none of them good. A tap on the door came as a welcome relief. "Come in."

Bobby walked into the office carrying two mugs and put them down on the desk. "I thought you might need this."

"Thanks."

"How's Jilly doing?" He asked as he sat down in the chair opposite.

"She's okay, I guess."

"Have you told her about tomorrow?"

"No," he confessed a little guiltily. "To be honest, I've been putting it off but I'll have to do it tonight."

"Not something to look forward to."

"I'm not looking forward to any of this," he sighed. "I just wish…"

"What, mate?"

"I was going to say, I wish it was Thursday and all over but if the court rules against me…" He left the sentence unfinished.

"I don't see why they would. You've done everything they've asked, no matter how ridiculous."

"Yes, but…" he shrugged.

"It'll work out, you'll see. Jilly loves being with you and that should count for something."

"God, I hope so." He closed his eyes for a moment as if in prayer then looked at his watch. "Sorry Crash, I have to go."

"You take it easy, Sparks. And I want to see you here first thing Thursday morning, no matter what happens."

"I'll be here." He pulled on his coat.

"Make sure you are. Good luck, mate."

"Thanks."

o-xxx-o

Sue had just walked into the hallway when Jack came through the front door and it was obvious that something wasn't right. He was holding Jilly in his arms, her right cheek and left hand pressed against his shoulder while the other clutched his lapel and his expression was bleak.

"Jack?"

"Not now," he rubbed the girl's back comfortingly as he carried her through to his bedroom, closing the door behind him and not emerging for over an hour. Entering the kitchen to pour a glass of milk and put some cookies on a plate, he didn't notice her until she spoke.

"Laura's already eaten but I can make something for Jilly if you'd like."

When he turned she could see he'd been crying. "She had something earlier, this will be fine."

"What about you?"

"I'm not hungry. Excuse me, I need to get back." He disappeared the way he'd come and she didn't see him again that evening but when she went to check on Laura before calling it a night, Jilly was asleep in her own bed, clutching her teddy bear in the same way she had the night Jack hadn't come home.

Around 3:30am something disturbed her and she switched on the lamp to find Laura standing beside her, holding Piglet. "Hey sweetie, you should be asleep."

"Jack woke me up. He scared me." Her eyes teared up.

"He scared you?"

"Mmm hmm, he was shouting and everyfing."

"I tell you what, you snuggle up in the warm and I'll go and see what's wrong."

"'kay."

Making her way along the hall, she found him sitting on the edge of the bed. He was facing away from her with his head in his hands, his chest heaving as Jilly knelt behind him, her head resting on his back and her arms around him as far as they would go.

"Daddy, had a bad dream," she explained sadly.

"Is there anything I can do?"

He looked up then and she could see his reflection in the mirror; his eyes were haunted, his expression tortured as he drew in a long calming breath before speaking. "I'm fine."

"You don't look it."

"I just need a shower." In his haste to get away, he stood up too quickly catching Jilly by surprise and she toppled forward almost pitching head-first onto the floor but luckily he realised what was happening in time and caught her. "I'm sorry sweetheart, you go back to your room and I'll come and see you in a while."

"Okay," she sounded reluctant.

"I'm alright, I promise." She still stood her ground. "Sue, could you?"

"Come on, I'll get you some warm milk and you can drink it while we wait for Daddy."

After another brief glance in his direction, she climbed down off the bed and took Sue's outstretched hand.

When he finally ventured into the kitchen he was dressed in fresh pyjamas and his hair was damp.

"Better?"

"Yes, thanks."

"I made you some hot chocolate. I thought it might help."

"Thank you." Pulling out a chair he joined them at the table.

Sue could see he was still shaken although he tried his best to hide it and on impulse, she reached over and took his hand, receiving a grateful squeeze and a sad smile in return.

"Does this happen often?"

"No."

"Yes," Jilly contradicted him and he shrugged.

"Sometimes," he countered.

"Would it help to talk about it?"

"I can't…" The pain in his eyes silenced her. "JillyBean, let's get you back to bed. Is Laura okay?"

"You frightened her a little."

"I'm so sorry," his face was anguished, adding to the aura of misery that seemed to encompass him.

"She'll be alright." Sue tried her best to reassure him. "I'll keep her with me for the rest of the night."

"**Sorry**," he picked Jilly up and walked away.

Sue stared after him. At least the nightmares explained why he always looked so tired but she knew that if he didn't confide in someone soon he was going to make himself ill again. At one time, it would have been her he turned to but now there were just too many barriers between them and they seemed insurmountable.

o-xxx-o

Breakfast the next morning was a sombre affair. She'd attempted several times to start a conversation but he seemed preoccupied; his answers, when they came, were curt, mostly consisting of one word, two at the most.

"I thought you said you had today off?" She tried again.

"I do."

"Then why the suit and tie?"

"No choice." The dullness of his eyes and his strained expression reflected the depth of his exhaustion.

"Did you get any sleep at all, last night?"

"I don't think so."

"Jack, please talk to me, I hate seeing you like this. You're still one of my best friends and I'd like to help, if I can."

A flash of hurt coursed through him but he quickly forced it down. He'd never realised before how cold the word 'friend' could sound, especially when he needed so much more. Crossing the room to the door he called out to Jilly. "It's almost time to leave."

"Why don't you both stay home today, you need to rest."

"I wish we could," he sighed. "Sue, can I…"

"Ready, Daddy." She came in carrying her bear and dragging a bag behind her.

"What's all this for, sweetheart? One colouring book and some crayons, remember?"

"But what if they don't let me come back?"

"JillyBean," he knelt down in front of her. "It doesn't work that way. I told you last night, they'll let you come and pick up your things and we'll still be able to see each other no matter what happens."

Her bottom lip quivered and tears spilled down her cheeks. "I don't want to go. I want to stay with you for always. Can I, please Daddy? I promise I'll be good."

Jack's eyes sparkled with unshed tears of his own and he swallowed several times to stop them from escaping. "I know but we have to do whatever the judge tells us."

"I'm scared."

"So am I, sweetheart."

"Really..?"

"Really… Now, pick out a colouring book and a story book and we'll leave the rest here."

"And Sparky..?"

"And Sparky," he reached across to brush the tears from her face and Sue could see how badly his hand was shaking.

Everything made sense to her now… The day off, the suit… And it made her wonder what Jilly's mom could possibly have done for the courts to grant him temporary custody.

He got to his feet and dragged a hand down his face and over his mouth in an effort to regain some composure. "I don't know what time we'll be back."

"Do you want me to make dinner?"

"Thanks for the offer but I'm not sure I'll be able to eat anything."

"Call me."

He nodded and started for the door but stopped when he heard his name. Turning, he was surprised to find her standing right behind him. Pulling him into her arms, she gave him a hug which he reciprocated, holding on to her tightly for a few seconds and drawing strength from the contact.

"**Good luck**. I'll be praying for you."

"**Thank you**."

While she waited for his call Sue busied herself around the house, vacuuming, dusting and dealing with the laundry she'd found in the hamper in the utility room. It wasn't much but it was one less thing for him to worry about.

Once she'd ironed everything, she put Jilly's clothes in her wardrobe and then took Jack's to his room but not wanting to intrude she left it in a pile on the end of the bed. She was about to leave when she spotted a glass and some other items on the carpet and assumed he must have knocked them off the bedside table the night before. Stooping to pick them up, her hand touched something metallic that had been pushed under the bed and when she retrieved it, she found it was a photo frame. The image it held was of Jack with a slightly younger woman with short, brown hair streaked with golden highlights. They had their arms around each other and she was looking up at him adoringly.

Although she didn't recognise her, there was something familiar about the woman. Her eyes, her mouth, then she realised it had to be Jilly's mother and she understood why Jack had freaked when he saw her wearing the make-up. They were so alike it was uncanny but, at the same time, there was a lot of Jack in the girl, too. Their love for one another was plain to see and she felt a pang of regret but found herself wondering how something so special had gone so badly wrong.

Not sure what to do, she decided to slip it back where she'd found it and it was only then that she noticed the glass was cracked right down the middle, effectively splitting them in two.

o-xxx-o


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Another big **THANK YOU** to those who have taken the time to review! It's great to know that someone is reading this xx.

o-xxx-o

Bobby had intended to be in Jack's office first thing on Thursday morning but an early meeting with a snitch, who could easily have bested Howie for prevarication, had him running late. Striding purposefully along the third floor corridor, he scowled at anyone who looked in his direction, almost daring them to speak to him, which of course they didn't. It was frustrating enough that he had to stop off at the bullpen and the last thing he needed was to waste time exchanging inane pleasantries when all he really wanted was to find out if his best friend was okay. Thankfully everything seemed peaceful as he crossed to Elise's desk for what had practically become a daily ritual.

"Is he in?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"How does he look?"

The rotor shrugged, "same as always."

Not knowing if that was a good or bad thing, he went to investigate for himself. "…Morning, Sparky."

"Crash," Jack acknowledged him without taking his eyes from the papers he was reading.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Six months," his tone was flat, masking any emotion he might have been feeling.

The Aussie pulled up a chair. "What did you do to deserve that, cuss the judge out or something?"

"What?" He finally looked up.

"Six months is a bit more serious than plain old contempt of court."

Jack stared at his colleague in bewilderment as his brain tried to play catch up. "Oh, very funny," he snorted, without so much as a glimmer of a smile, when he finally caught on.

"I thought so. Would you care to expand on that answer a little for those of us who aren't lawyers?"

"They've ordered another review in six months before they come to a final decision," he sighed miserably.

"You're kidding, on what grounds?"

"While they were satisfied Jilly was being adequately cared for and she seemed happy, they're still concerned about the nature of my job and, I quote, 'given my current status' they're not convinced I'm committed for the 'long haul'."

"Geez Sparks, you've been living like a monk for the past seven months or more, not counting your little lapse the other day, and the worst injury you're likely to suffer in this job is a paper-cut!"

"Perhaps you should tell them that."

"I would, if they asked. How's Jilly taking it?"

"You know kids… Six months goes by in a flash for us but to them, it's a lifetime. She was upset at first, thought it was her fault… that she'd done something wrong but I told her it was mine."

"It's nobody's fault, those galahs just can't see a good thing when it's right in front of them but at least she's still with you."

"Thank God."

"What happens now?"

"I go on living one day at a time and we find Capono so we can finish this and get things back to normal around here."

"How's it going with Sue?"

"We don't see much of each other apart from meal times. She helps out around the house, cooks the odd meal and she's great with Jilly."

Bobby frowned. "Just remember she's a Mrs, not a Miss, okay?"

"You think I don't know that?" He'd snapped at him out of annoyance but immediately softened his tone. "Don't worry Crash, I haven't got the time or energy to handle any more complications in my life and I don't have affairs with married women." He added his name to the final reports and tidied them away. "We need to get everyone together in CR3, see if we can come up with a new strategy. We're going nowhere with this one and I have an appointment with Pinter this afternoon. It would be nice to be able to tell him something to get him off my back for a while. He's already fuming about my not being here for the last two days."

"Personal time is personal time, nothing he can do about that."

"I think that's what's got him so hacked off."

"I haven't heard _him_ offering any constructive suggestions."

"Not his job."

"Then maybe he should back off and let us do ours."

"Not gonna happen and I'm still not sure who he's really gunning for, Capono or me. Do you know where Myles and Rodriguez are?"

"I'll find them but first I need a word."

"Fire away."

Bobby looked around suspiciously. "Not here, mate."

o-xxx-o

"So, what is it you wanted to tell me?" Jack asked as he sat at the head of the conference table, his back to the evidence board so he didn't have to look at Capono's face.

"You remember you asked Pinter about Sue's living arrangements?"

"He said he had nothing to do with it. Don't tell me, he was lying through his teeth."

"For once, I don't think he was. I spent most of Tuesday going through the bank records she gave us, entry by entry." Retrieving them from the bookcase, he spread them out in front of him.

"And you managed to stay awake?" Jack queried incredulously.

"I may have dozed off, once or twice." The Aussie grinned. "Anyway, unless Sue has some private income we know nothing about, I'd say that dive was about the best she could afford, at least in this city."

Jack looked appalled. "What about Capono?"

"It seems, from what I've managed to pull together, he was doing just enough to stop himself dropping into the category of deadbeat dad. He withdrew any money as soon as it was paid in and there were some huge amounts involved but there are regular entries over the past couple of years for deposited cheques," he pointed one out with his index finger. "I subpoenaed the records and they were all paid in by Sue a couple of days after they were written, so I assume he was mailing them to her."

"This would barely keep Jilly and I fed, let alone pay the rent. She and Laura were actually living in that place?"

"For the past six or seven months, as far as I could discover, without drawing too much unwelcome attention."

His friend dragged his fingers through his hair. "I'm really beginning to dislike this guy."

"I thought you already did."

"Yeah but the feeling's getting worse by the day. Anything else I should know before I call the others?"

"Tara's managed to get through the first layer of encryption on the drive. She hasn't uncovered much so far but he does have several Facebook accounts. One of them has some public access but the rest are private, unfortunately."

"Which means?"

"Not at one with the twenty-first century, are you Sparks?"

"You mean you have an account?"

"Absolutely not and before you ask, I don't twit either."

"I think you mean, tweet."

"Whatever."

"Can she hack into them?"

Bobby looked at him askance, trying to ascertain whether he was serious or not. "That would be illegal. She could do it but we'd have to arrest her afterwards."

"Crash…"

"Geez Sparks, did you leave your sense of humour in your other suit or something?" The look he received told him Jack wasn't amused. "Would you believe we need a search warrant?"

"At this point, I'll believe anything. Is there a judge anywhere around here who actually knows what social networking is?"

"I'm surprised, you do. Tara reckons she has it all in hand so…"

"…we leave it to her. If that's it, I'll call the others."

"That's it." He cleared the table while Jack took out his cell.

Both Rodriguez and Myles arrived within a few minutes and the latter couldn't resist making a sarcastic comment. "Oh, you're back. I trust you had a nice break while we sat here twiddling our thumbs?"

Bobby was about to cut him off but Jack beat him to it.

"If it makes you feel any better Myles, they were two of the worst days of my life. I've had quite a few recently and they ranked right up there."

The Bostonian stared at him dumbfounded then muttered an apology and sat down.

o-xxx-o

The meeting broke up just before lunchtime with very little progress made and everything seemed to hinge on what Tara managed to glean from the cloned drive. Bobby and Jack were in the process of packing up when she knocked on the door.

"I hope you have some good news for us, Mrs Abbott." Bobby gave her a cheeky wink as he let her in.

"Maybe… Jack, did Bobby tell you I managed to crack the first layer of encryption?"

"He did, and that you found a Facebook account."

"Actually, I found four but I could only access parts of one of them. I did find these." She handed each of them printouts of a series of photographs of Capono with a young blonde woman, probably mid-twenties, and in some, she was holding a child in her arms. "I'd say, judging by the body language, that Tony is a proud poppa. Perhaps that's why he's dropped off the radar, so to speak."

The two men exchanged shocked glances.

"Am I missing something?"

"You're sure about this?"

"Pretty much, I found some embedded text and the child's name is Carina Capono, pretty name Ca-ri-na."

"Carina..?"

"I looked it up. It's Italian, no surprise there. It means 'dear little one'. According to the timeline, she's about six months old and looking at some of the other images, I'd say that Tony and the woman are heavily involved."

Bobby whistled as he thumbed through the rest of the pages. "You're not kidding. So the sleaze-bag's been playing away."

"Not for the first time. Do we have any idea who she is?"

"I'm guessing, his wife?"

"No," Jack paused for a second, choosing his words carefully. "We've met his wife and that definitely isn't her."

"Do tell." She sat down on the nearest chair.

"We just did." Bobby stated flatly.

"Oh, okay… I thought there was going to be more to that story. I checked and there were no references to her name but, as luck would have it, I was in the copy room printing up a batch of photos when the new guy from your unit came in, I think his name's D'Angelo?"

"That'd be him. He has a knack of being in the wrong place at the right time." The Aussie grumbled.

"Huh?"

"Never mind, it was lucky, why?"

"Because, he recognised her... He didn't know her name but he told me he saw her coming out of Vincent Pinter's office last week sometime."

"Well that explains the perfume, Sparks. I guess the drongo has all his sheilas wear it."

"Damn," Jack cursed softly and brought his fists down on the table.

"What?" Tara asked curiously, not receiving a reply from either man. "Oh, by the way, I'm not sure what your thing is with D'Angelo, but he seems like an okay guy to me."

"You didn't tell him anything about the case?"

"I wasn't sure of his security clearance. He is helping me find a computer savvy judge, though."

Jack screwed up his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did you tell him why you needed one?"

"No and he didn't ask. Why, is there a problem?"

"One very big one… We have no idea whose team he's playing for but we're pretty sure it isn't ours." Bobby filled her in.

"I was unaware."

"That's my fault." Jack sighed pushing his chair back. "I should have warned you. I haven't exactly been at the top of my game lately."

"Sparky, it's…"

"I need to get out of here, give myself some time to think."

"We could all grab an early lunch." Tara suggested.

"No, you two go, I need some alone time. Crash, can you cover for me for a couple of hours?"

"Sure, but where…" Before he could finish his question, his friend was gone.

"Wow."

"You took the word right out of my mouth, darlin'"

"Do you think his Mom's okay?"

"As far as I know, why do you ask?"

"The last time I saw him this messed up was when his father passed away."

"Trust me when I tell you… this is a whole new level of messed up."

"Care to share?"

"Nothing I'd liked more but I can't, I gave my word."

"In that case, you can buy me lunch instead."

"A cosy meal for two with a married F.B.I. Agent, how can I refuse?"

Tara punched him on the arm playfully as they headed for the door.

o-xxx-o


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Welcome back Barbara! Thank you everyone for the reviews, enjoy!

o-xxx-o

Jack hadn't had any particular destination in mind when he'd driven away but he'd ended up parking down by the river. Forearms resting on the guard rail, he watched the water as it flowed by, envying the way it just did what it did without having to answer for, or justify its actions to anyone. Moving to the nearest bench, he sat down and looked around him.

In the summer months, this area would be teeming with life… Picnickers, sun-worshippers, tourists taking a break from visiting the sights including, a little ironically, the building where he worked but as he'd expected the colder weather had driven all but the hardiest into the local coffee shops, cafes and restaurants for lunch, leaving this place as a tranquil haven away from the hubbub of the city.

He'd come here for some peace and quiet to try to bring some order into the chaos of his mind but there were too many thoughts, too much guilt, too many regrets all vying for his attention; almost tumbling over one another to make themselves heard. A couple jogged by, distracting him and he watched them until they disappeared around a bend in the path. Longer ago than he cared to remember, he would have been doing the very same thing but now there was always something else more urgent demanding his time. Running had been his preferred way of winding down at the end of the day, relieving stress and tension in both mind and body and he needed that now, needed to find a way to centre himself, if only for a few minutes. He'd pay for it later, of that he had no doubt; he was nowhere near as fit as he once was but the urge was just too strong to resist.

Returning to his car, he pulled out the gym bag he always kept there, just in case, and used the public restroom to change before jogging back the way he'd come. Feeling no adverse effects, he sped up a little, surprised by how easily he fell into his old rhythm and looking ahead, he picked out the place where he'd stop and turn because he knew that if he didn't, he'd run himself to the point of exhaustion and beyond.

The gentle thumping noise his running shoes made as they pounded the path was hypnotic and with every step his head began to clear, all his fears and worries receding to be replaced by nothing more than the sound of his own heartbeat and the cold breeze against his face temporarily chased away the cobwebs of doubt and despair that had shrouded him for so long. He'd managed two full laps and was on the third when the muscles in his damaged leg started to ache, so reluctantly he slowed his pace again and walked back to the bench to rest.

For now, Jilly was with him and although he'd told Bobby he intended to go back to living one day at a time, he knew that it was the wrong approach. He needed to look at the next six months as a whole and plan accordingly, stop dwelling on the past and things he couldn't change and concentrate on the future. It was going to be a hard road but the route he'd been travelling until today was nothing more than a path to self-destruction and he couldn't let that happen, too many people would be hurt just as they had been when... He quickly switched his mind to happier things.

Christmas was coming up fast and he was determined to give her the best one possible which meant staying in D.C. He knew he'd have to go back to Wisconsin at some point, if only to try and mend the rift between himself and his mother but he'd make the trip for just a few days beforehand and not over the holiday itself, that would be too hard for all of them. In order for that to happen though, he needed to get the current case squared away and that seemed to be a tall order at the moment. He couldn't fault either the team or their efforts, they were by far the best people for the task and he had to be patient but sometimes the wheels of justice really did turn slowly. And then there was Sue…

His past feelings for her were confusing the issue, then again, when hadn't they? Somewhere buried deep inside of him he still cared for her and probably more than he should but, at the same time, she'd disappointed him. He couldn't reconcile himself to the fact that she'd been gullible enough to fall for Capono's line twice. He'd been bitterly upset and a little angry the first time it had happened and she'd sided with Tony over him but after finding out he'd been right about the man, she'd apologised and given him an opening, asking him if there was anything he wanted to talk about. A part of him had, he'd wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was head-over-heels in love with her and the whole 'hate' thing had been borne of jealousy but instead he'd declined. There were too many complications with the rules at work and possibly having to transfer to a different unit and in the end his dithering had cost him the future he'd fantasised about almost since the first day they'd met. Seven years, three months and twenty-seven days ago, she'd walked out of his life and now she was back, married to a man he despised and mother to his child. He'd be lying if he said that it didn't hurt, a lot, but it was another chapter he needed to close somehow. If a relationship had been a complicated issue before, now it was downright impossible, he knew her too well… Were Tony, by some miracle, proven to be innocent then she would honour her marriage vows no matter what, divorce went against her faith and all her beliefs, and if he was found guilty and sent to prison the same principles would apply. No, the sooner he wrapped up this case so she could move on, the better it would be for everyone concerned and he wasn't going to do it by sitting there. He flinched at the discomfort in his leg when he put his weight on it but there was nothing better than physical pain to keep the mind sharp. Stopping off at the local gym, where he still had a membership, he took a quick shower and returned to work with a renewed sense of purpose.

His meeting had gone on for over two hours, which would normally have put him into a bad mood, but this time he'd had the upper hand, lambasting the man for not practising what he preached and withholding what could be, vital information and to give him his due, he'd taken it pretty well. Knocking on the door of CR3, all heads turned in his direction as he limped his way into the room. On the edge of his vision he saw Myles wince but he had no time for the Bostonian's guilt trips, he'd just have to deal with it, Tara eyed him with concern.

"Jack, are you okay?"

"Fine..." It was an abrupt affirmation, designed to ward off any further enquiry.

"How did it go with Pinter?" Bobby asked, following his lead. "What did he have to say about our mystery lady?"

Jack nodded in appreciation. "Is everyone up to speed on this?"

"I briefed them earlier," Tara confirmed.

"Her name is Sabrina Philips and she's Tony's girlfriend."

"I thought he was married?"

"He is Harvard, but when has that ever stopped him?"

"Good point."

Opening the folder he'd brought in with him, Jack handed several sheets of paper to everyone present. "These are copies of the statements she made to O.P.R. You'll find that, apart from one or two points, they contradict everything we've been told to date."

"So, who are we supposed to believe, the wife or the lover?"

"I know which one my money's on, mate."

"Do we get to question her?" Rodriguez asked.

"No, they've already let her go."

"Wonderful." Myles grumbled. "This is like sending a boxer into the ring with one hand tied behind his back and expecting him to win."

"I'd have to agree with him there, Sparks."

"Yeah I know, but she's a voluntary witness not a terror suspect and besides, reading through this I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Capono hadn't sent her in himself to muddy the waters."

"…or find out how much we already know." Tara suggested.

"She mentions the laptop in here." Rodriguez looked up from the pages he'd been thumbing through. "Perhaps he was trying to find out if we already had it and that's what made Vincent suspicious."

"On first name terms with our O.P.R. rep, are we?" Myles smirked.

"We've had dinner a couple of times."

"Cosy..."

"Sounds dangerous," Bobby snickered.

"Enough," Jack raised a hand to close the discussion before it could disintegrate into yet another slanging match. "Tara, is there any news on the search warrant?"

"I've found a judge and we should have it first thing Monday morning."

"Myles, Raul… nothing more in the files?"

"Not that we could find but you're welcome to check for yourself."

"In that case, the two of you have just earned yourselves Friday off. Go see the sights, visit friends or read a book."

"Since when has the Bureau been that generous? I assume we'll still be paid."

"You will Myles. It's all been cleared with the powers-that-be, but I suggest you leave now, before they have the chance to change their minds."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Raul stood and Myles caught him up as he reached the door.

"What about me?" Tara asked hopefully, raising her hand.

"Sorry, I need you to…"

"…work on the drive," she finished for him. "You know, sometimes I wish I'd been born with beauty and not brains."

"Don't sell yourself short darlin', you were born with both which means you'll always be in demand."

"You know something Bobby Manning? Sometimes you can be really sweet."

"Then you can show your appreciation by buying me dinner, since I paid for lunch."

"Somehow, I think you got the better end of that deal."

"Bobby, a quick word before you go..."

"Sure… You go ahead, I'll catch you up." He sat down on the edge of the table, "so, what's going on Sparky? How'd you hurt your leg?"

"It's okay."

"Yeah, I noticed that when you walked in."

"O.P.R. aren't in charge of this case, they're players just like us."

"What makes you think that?"

"When I questioned Pinter about Sabrina he wouldn't answer, had me leave the office so he could make a call, I saw the phone light up on his secretary's desk, but when I went back inside he told me everything I wanted to know; even offered a halfway-sincere sounding apology for not being upfront."

"Geez, do you have any idea who _is_ running this show?"

"None and if Pinter does, he's not saying."

"What do we do?"

"Our jobs, as far as we know Capono is still a rogue agent and he needs to be stopped." As he spoke he began clearing the evidence board. "We start over on Monday once Tara gains access to the other Facebook accounts and hope they lead us somewhere and in the meantime I need to figure out how to tell Sue about Sabrina."

"You're sure you're up for that? I could tell her if you'd like or we could brief Tara? Maybe it would be easier coming from another woman."

"No," he shook his head. "Thanks for the offer but it needs to come from me."

"Okay mate, you want a hand to set up the board again?"

"I've got it and Tara's waiting for you."

"See you in the morning."

"Have a good evening and Crash, she's not a Miss anymore either."

"Touché, like a kid sister, remember?"

"How could I forget?"

During the drive home he'd weighed up the pros and cons of letting Sue know what Tara had discovered but a sixth sense was telling him there was a lot more to come, so in the end he decided it would be better to wait until he had the whole sordid story, rather than hurt her over and over again.

"Are you okay, JillyBean?" He checked the child in his mirror. "You're awfully quiet back there."

"No I'm not, you just weren't listening."

"Sorry sweetheart, I've got a lot on my mind. How about some music..?" He hit the button for the CD player but accidentally caught the radio instead and the first station it found was playing 'Everybody Hurts' by R.E.M. He listened for a while but the words hit much too close to home and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He tried a second time and the car was filled with the strains of 'Old MacDonald Had A Farm' and that gave him an idea…

o-xxx-o


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Thank you as always to my four loyal reviewers, I'm only continuing with this story because of you!

o-xxx-o

Jack tossed and turned restlessly as he tried to find a position that would make the ache in his leg tolerable enough to allow him to sleep but it was a seemingly impossible task. Thursday night hadn't been a problem, probably because he'd been so tired but today had been a slow one with nothing but meetings to attend and too much sitting had caused the muscles to knot up. Throwing back the covers, he switched on the lamp and limped to the bathroom for some painkillers, taking them to the kitchen to get some juice to wash them down. He was surprised to find the light on and Sue sitting at the table.

"Are you okay?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Me either."

"Would you like some hot chocolate?"

"No, I'm good." Pulling out two chairs, he sat on one and rested his leg across the other.

She sipped her drink cautiously to test the temperature. "Bobby told me what happened."

The man regarded her nervously but remained silent.

"The accident," she added and he let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Oh, it was just one of those things, I guess, could have been any one of us."

"Does it hurt a lot?"

"Only occasionally and it's not really painful, just aches." He massaged his thigh as he spoke. "It's nothing a couple of these won't cure," he assured her, waving a bottle of prescription pills in her direction. "So, what's keeping _you_ awake? Are you worried about Tony?" He hoped he'd succeeded in keeping his tone neutral as even though she couldn't hear him, he knew if he hadn't she'd pick it up from his facial expression.

Sue just shrugged, "I think it's the lack of fresh air and exercise.

"Could be… I'm sorry but I can't think of any safe way for you to leave the house."

"I know."

"If you really can't settle there are plenty of books in the den, although I suggest you avoid the ones on law, you're likely to do yourself an injury just trying to lift them."

She smiled. "Thanks, I might do that."

Jack nodded and downed the rest of his drink. "Well I'm going to give it another shot. I'll see you in the morning."

"See you."

The den was the only room she hadn't ventured into since she'd been staying there. It was Jack's sanctuary; the one place he could go when he needed some peace or had work to do and she'd noticed that even Jilly never went in without knocking first. Feeling as though she was intruding, despite his invitation, Sue opened the door slowly and quietly, groping for the light switch.

It was exactly as she'd expected it to be, with bookcases on either side of the open fireplace, a leather couch which had that well-worn look, soft carpeting and French doors that opened out onto the garden. It was decorated in the warm earth tones that she knew were his favourite colours and she was pretty sure he'd done it all himself, without any female input – it was uniquely him. A wooden unit which was a combination of display cabinet and shelves, with a double cupboard base, stood against one wall and she walked over to take a closer look. There were no real ornaments but several scale-model cars, some of which she remembered from his desk in the bullpen all those years ago, were laid out neatly in rows.

Behind the glass doors, she could see pennants and other memorabilia from his hockey days along with some photographs taken in his teenage years. One was a team picture and she could easily identify him by the 25 on his shirt, then there was another with an older man who had his arm around Jack's shoulders and she knew instantly it was his father; they had the same beautiful eyes with the long, dark lashes that most women would kill for. The third was a family portrait with a very young Jack standing with both his parents, his mother holding a baby in her arms. They were the epitome of everything a family should be and in total contrast to the screwed up lives both she and their son were living.

Sighing, she crossed the room, running her fingers over the back of the leather chair. The wooden surface of the desk was highly polished and everything was in its place, his laptop taking centre stage. For a moment she was tempted to power it up and find out what he was working on but she resisted. It was none of her business, not any more.

There were several more photo frames all containing images of Jilly and in one, she was with the unidentified woman but seeing them together, it was obvious that she _was_ the girl's mother. Most of the frames matched but there was a different one at the back, partially hidden, which she picked up. The woman was alone this time, blowing a kiss into the camera, her eyes shining with happiness and she guessed that Jack had taken it himself.

"What happened? What did you do to mess up everyone's lives, including your own, and how can you bear to be separated from your daughter? I can't even imagine a day without Laura let alone months. You must have hurt him a lot to make him fall out of love with you. Or, was it Jack? Did he do something? Is that why you're fighting so hard to get her back? Why would he think it necessary to deprive you of your child, and Jilly of her mother?" She returned the picture to its rightful place. "But, if he doesn't care for you anymore, why does he still have your photograph on his desk?"

With more questions than answers in her mind and feeling guilty for invading his privacy, she quickly scanned the book titles. Right at the bottom there were a few classics including Charles Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol' which had been a favourite seasonal read of hers since she was a child and when she took it out she could see it had been well-loved. She flipped open the cover and tears sprang to her eyes when she read the inscription.

_For my beloved Grandson, Jack, I'm sorry I can't be with you this Christmas but God had other plans for me. I don't have much but I'm leaving you this book in the hope that you'll read it to your grandchildren someday just as I read it to you. God bless you and keep you safe, I'll be watching over you always. Grandma Hudson. xxx_

o-xxx-o

There were no sounds coming from the kitchen when he got up the next morning and for a moment he thought he'd overslept but when he walked in he was greeted by three gloomy faces.

"Good morning everyone…"

"Good morning, feeling better?"

"Yes, thanks."

Jilly looked up from her cereal bowl. "You're not sick again are you Daddy?"

"No, JillyBean…" He bent to give her a kiss, "my leg was playing up last night, that's all."

The little girl's face brightened a little. "Does that mean we can't go shopping?"

"Nice try sweetheart, and don't even think about wriggling out of it this week, you're coming with me."

"But Daddy…"

Jack raised a single finger and it was enough to silence her.

"Yes sir, I'll get my coat."

"Wait one minute, before you go I have an announcement to make. I'm declaring tomorrow 'silly Sunday'."

"Yeah…'Silly Sunday'," Jilly started to jump up and down on the spot. "Can we go to the zoo?"

"I'm afraid it's going to have to be a rainy day, 'silly Sunday'."

"What if it's sunny?"

"Even, then."

She sat down and pouted sulkily. "Why?"

"Because we have guests and we want them to be able to join in too, don't we? It's not safe for them outside."

"That's not fair."

Sue interrupted. "Jack, if you and Jilly want to go out, it's okay with us."

"Can we, pleeease?"

"JillyBean, come out into the hall for a minute."

When they returned, the little girl walked straight over to Sue and apologised.

"That's alright sweetie, we really don't mean to spoil your day."

"You won't, rainy day 'silly Sundays' are good too."

"**Thank you**."

Jack put his hand on her shoulder. "Good girl, now go get ready and we'll leave when the little hand is on the eleven and the big hand is on the six, okay?"

"Yes Daddy." She fairly skipped out of the door and all the way to her room.

"You want to go too, honey?" Sue asked her daughter.

"Pweese, Mommy."

"Okay, just let me…"

"I've got it." Jack lifted Laura out of the chair and set her on the floor.

"**Thank you**."

"**Welcome**."

After he'd made himself some cereal and a glass of orange juice, Sue asked the question she was dying to know the answer to.

"What's silly Sunday?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. It was something Lisa…" he paused to take a breath. "…Jilly's mother came up with. Because the week could sometimes be stressful and Jilly didn't always get the attention she should, Lisa created 'silly Sundays'… No shop talk, no grown-up conversation until she's gone to bed, no tellings-off unless things really get out of hand and lots of unhealthy food at mealtimes, carefully supervised of course."

"Sound like fun."

"It is, but…"

"But, what..?"

"I hope it's not going to cause a problem for you. I mean, I know that Sundays are special."

"It's fine. I do feel guilty about not having been to church for a while but under the circumstances I think God will understand and I'm pretty sure He has nothing against it being a family day."

"That's great." Pushing his chair back, he dumped his dirty plate in the sink. "Now, I have to see what we need. Could you make a list for yourself and Laura, same rules as last time and I need to know what she doesn't like."

"You know, you don't have to take Jilly with you, I'll be happy to watch her while you're gone."

"Thanks but I have an ulterior motive. Christmas is just around the corner and I need to figure out what to get her. I find the easiest way is to drag her round the stores with me and make mental notes."

"Could get expensive…"

"Not really. Her mother and I laid down ground rules early on. We decided she should have a childhood like ours, which means no computer or Nintendo or whatever, until she needs them for school."

"I've noticed she doesn't watch very much television either."

"She's never really shown an interest, which is handy because I want her to go at her own pace and not be influenced by what she sees. You don't agree?"

"Actually, I do. I think children are forced to grow up much too quickly now and they miss out on just playing and being kids."

"Thank goodness for that, most of the parents at Jilly's Day Care disagree with me. They think I'm some kind of Luddite."

"I didn't get that word."

"L-U-D-D-I-T-E."

She shook her head to let him know she still didn't understand but before he could explain, Jilly ran in through the door.

"It's time Daddy."

"Almost ready, can you bring me a glass of water, please?"

o-xxx-o

**A/N2:** I'll try to post 'silly Sunday' either tonight or tomorrow morning, since its almost ready to go.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** Yikes! This was supposed to be a short chapter that I could post quickly but I kept thinking of things to add and it turned into an epic! Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

o-xxx-o

The day had dawned bright and sunny, if a little cold and Jack had had to force himself to get out of bed when the alarm went off, not something he was used to on a Sunday morning, but by the time the rest of the household ventured into the kitchen, he already had breakfast well underway.

"Something smells good," Sue sniffed the air, stretching languorously.

"Almost ready... Can you get the girls settled for me?"

"Sure." Five minutes later they were all seated at the table watching him expectantly.

"I now declare 'silly Sunday' officially open." He put down the plates and bowls and everyone started to giggle at the breakfast faces he'd made with the creative use of bananas, apricots and other fruit on the children's oatmeal, which had been dyed green, and the eggs and bacon for the grown-ups with a half a tomato each for noses.

"Perhaps you could sell these to Myles for his art collection?"

"Now there's a thought."

The meal was a lively affair, mostly centred round an over-excited Jilly and when they'd finished Jack pushed back his chair. "Now, it's a lovely day outside so you all wrap up warm and go and play while I clean up."

"I'll do it," Sue volunteered. "The cook never cleans, remember?"

"I remember," he smiled softly, "but I'm afraid it's a bit of a mess."

"That's okay."

"In that case I'm out of here," he scooped Jilly up into his arms. "Let's go find your coat, JillyBean. Does Laura have any warm clothes? If not, I'm sure I can find something that will fit."

"She has a coat but she might need some mittens and a woolly hat."

"No problem-o, as Crash would say."

As she did the dishes, she watched through the window as he chased Jilly around the garden while Laura looked on a little forlornly, clutching Piglet. Sue's smile faded, her daughter had never had much opportunity to mix with other grown-ups or even children and with no brothers or sisters to play with the whole concept was alien to her. The little girl looked so sad that she put the rest of the plates in to soak and was about to go outside when she saw Jack go over and crouch down in front of her. Although he was facing in the wrong direction, she could tell he was trying to cajole her into doing something but Laura kept shaking her head 'no'.

"Piglet wants to." He'd moved slightly so she could see his face. "Can I borrow him for a minute?"

Another shake of her head...

"Pretty please..? I'll give him right back, I promise."

Reluctantly, Laura thrust the toy in his direction and he took it to the swing and placed it on the seat before giving it a gentle push. "You see, sweetheart it's fun…" Laura still wouldn't budge so Jilly came over to help.

Worried it would end in tears, Sue grabbed her coat but by the time she'd made it into the garden, Jack had lifted Laura up and she was sitting in the swing with the safety bar pulled down while he untangled her legs to get them through the right holes. Rather than interrupt, Sue stood back and watched as he set it moving. At first, she looked uncertain but when he didn't make it go any higher or faster she relaxed and started to smile.

"Slide, Daddy!" Jilly tugged at his sleeve.

"In a minute JillyBean, just let me give Laura another push."

"Daddy..!"

Sue stepped forward. "It's okay Jack, I've got this." She took hold of the rope and started it moving again, while he stood behind his daughter to protect her in case she slipped as she climbed the ladder.

"Now you stay there while I go to the bottom so I can catch you."

"Ready, Daddy."

"Come on then."

"Again… Again..!"

"Does Laura want a go?"

"I think she's a bit small."

"Okay, off we go." This time he lifted her onto the top.

The sun slowly disappeared behind a bank of cloud as they played and the temperature began to drop making both girls shiver.

"Time to go back inside," Jack stated but Jilly stood her ground defiantly. "Indoors…"

"I want to stay out here."

"And I think you've just earned the first silly punishment of the day."

"What's that?" Sue asked curiously.

"If anyone breaks the rules, and that includes the grown-ups, the others get to choose a suitable punishment."

"Maybe we should just go in for some ice-cream instead," Sue suggested, feeling sorry for the girl who was obviously just having fun.

"Yeah, ice-cream..!"

"You don't get away with it that easily young lady and I've had an idea."

Sue and Laura were already seated when they came in and she barely managed to smother a laugh. Jilly was still in her outdoor coat but it was on backwards and she was wearing one red mitten and one blue one.

"Now you can have your ice-cream."

The spoon clattered into the dish several times. "Daddy, I can't eat it."

"Sure you can."

She tried again with the same result, "Can't."

"Then you shouldn't have misbehaved."

"No, sir…"

He made her wait a little longer then told her she could take off the mittens but by that time it had almost melted. The youngster stared at it for a couple of seconds before picking up the bowl and drinking the entire contents.

"Jilly!"

"What?" She looked up innocently, wearing a chocolate ice-cream moustache and he almost choked, while Sue bit down on her thumbnail to stop herself from laughing.

"You know you're not supposed to do that."

"You did."

"Excuse me?"

"Mommy told me. She said she saw you do it once and Grandpa was really mad."

Sue couldn't hold back any longer and giggled out loud.

"Hey, did she also tell you there were mitigating circumstances?"

"What's gateing mean?"

"M-I-T-I-G-A-T-I-N-G," Sue finger-spelled for her. "It means Daddy is about to make up an excuse to get himself out of trouble and it had better be a good one."

Jack feigned hurt. "It's not an excuse it's a very sad story."

"Go on…"

"I was eight-years-old and I'd broken my arm and all the fingers on my right hand and dislocated three on my left. I missed almost an entire hockey season."

"Looks painful"

"It was."

"So, how did you do it?"

"I fell off the barn roof at the Sunday picnic."

"And why were you up there in the first place?"

"She dared me."

"Who dared you?"

"Jilly's mom... Your Grandma bought my favourite ice-cream to cheer me up but Grandpa wouldn't let her feed me, so I improvised."

"Too many big words, Daddy"

"Sorry sweetheart, I came up with another way of eating it."

"Just like me."

"She's got you there."

Jack shook his head. "Okay, okay, you win, just don't do it again."

"Looks like you might have another budding lawyer in the family." Sue observed as she began to clear away "As soon as she's big enough to lift those books, that is. So, what's next?"

"Play room!" Jilly declared.

"And what are we playing?" She frowned when she saw Jack cringe.

"Twister..!"

"Jilly," he wiped her mouth with a damp paper napkin. "Laura isn't old enough."

"But she can point to the colours instead of spinning for them." Sue offered.

"**Don't encourage her**."

"**Sorry**."

Half-an-hour later they were all twisted up like pretzels when Laura pointed to green.

"Is that even possible?" Jack asked with a grin.

"I guess we're about to find out."

Sue lifted her right leg to straddle him while he tried desperately to keep his back off the floor, propped up with both his hands and feet on different colours but as she stretched her toes to reach the circle, her foot slipped and she crashed down on top of him, her body pressed against the full length of his and knocking virtually all the air from his lungs. Their faces were so close he could feel her breath on his lips as he stared up at her, his amusement warring with a more primal response which was only exacerbated when she wriggled in an effort to stop his belt buckle sticking into her midriff. He gasped, his eyes betraying the feelings he'd thought long dead and she felt as though she was drowning in their dark depths; her confusion mirroring his.

"You lost, Daddy!" Jilly's declaration went unheeded as they held each other's gaze. "Daddy, you have to give in!"

"You have no idea how much I want to," he mouthed so only Sue could understand.

"I think she means you have to say 'uncle'." Her face was flushed and her voice shaky.

"What?"

Sue gave him an exasperated stare and his brain finally remembered where he was and what they were doing. "Oh right, sorry JillyBean, you win."

"Yeah, I win! Can we play hide and seek next?"

"In a while..."

As Sue struggled to her feet, Jack rolled out from underneath her, excused himself and left the room.

o-xxx-o

He'd been gone for quite some time when she tapped on the den door to announce herself and walked in. Jack was standing with his back to her, hands in his pockets as he looked out onto the garden which was fast being swallowed by the twilight.

"Are you okay?"

He turned towards her, all the happiness of the day gone from his face.

"Did I hurt you?"

"When..?" The double-edge to his question didn't escape her notice.

"When I fell on you..."

"Oh, no, I'm good."

"You're sure?"

"Yes," he returned his gaze to the window and she crossed the room to join him, tentatively stroking his arm.

"And seven years ago?"

He shrugged. "You did what you had to do."

"I was wrong."

Jack stared at her but didn't reply.

"The girls are getting impatient and we've already figured out your punishment."

"For what..?"

"Wasting almost an hour of 'silly Sunday'..."

"I…"

"Uh-uh, no excuses"

"So I've been tried and convicted in my absence, have I?"

"You have."

"Then I guess I'd better come and face the music."

He sat patiently while Sue, Jilly and Laura covered him in face paint. "Now that would make a wonderful addition to Myles' collection."

"Am I allowed to see?"

"Of course..."

Getting to his feet, he walked to his bathroom while the others sat waiting nervously and suddenly Jilly's eyes filled with tears.

"What's the matter honey, what can you hear? He's not angry is he?"

Jilly shook her head. "No, he's laughing."

"Then why the tears..?"

"He never laughs."

Jack walked back into the room minus the paint but with a broad smile on his face and Jilly ran over to give him a hug.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing, love you, Daddy."

"I love you too. Was this your idea?"

"No," she fidgeted awkwardly. "It was Laura's."

"Oh, so she knows all about face paint, does she?"

"She does now," Sue laughed lifting her daughter's hands so he could see them.

"You are a terrible, terrible child. You know that, don't you?" Picking her up, he swung her around several times and then laughed when she fell on her butt as soon as he put her down. Looking at Sue, he signed a thank you and drew in a breath when Laura held out her arms to him. "You want a go? Come on then cutie."

"Jack, I don't think…"

He gave her a reassuring wink, lifting the little girl over his head for a moment and then settling her on his arm. "And now I think it's time to declare 'silly Sunday' closed, so everyone can calm down before dinner. Did you enjoy your day, Jilly?"

"It was the best. Thank you Daddy."

"You're very welcome."

"'ank you, Jack," Laura gave him a hug.

"And you're welcome too."

"I wish you was my Daddy."

"You already have a Daddy, honey."

"He doesn't wuv me."

"I'm sure he does, he just can't be with you right now but I bet he misses you."

"Weally?"

"I know I would, if you were mine." He glanced in Sue's direction and saw she was crying silently.

"Jilly, would you please take Laura to the bathroom and wash her face and hands?"

"Come on, Laura."

When they'd gone Jack moved to Sue's side and turned her to face him. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head 'no' and he pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back to comfort her.

"I wish there was something I could do or say to make this easier for you."

"I know. Jack, I'm sorry."

"…For what?"

"Everything… For leaving, for being too scared to tell you that I…"

He put a finger to her lips. "Please, don't say any more, I don't think I could handle it, not right now."

She realised then that she and Lisa had something in common. "I messed everything up when I moved to New York, didn't I?"

"We both did." He took her into his arms again, closing his eyes and holding her close and then suddenly let go.

"Jack?"

"Screams and giggles... never a good thing…" Sue wiped her eyes and they ran for the bathroom.

"What on earth!"

"Sorry Daddy, I dropped the soap thingy and there was water on the floor and then…"

Despite his best efforts to look annoyed, Jack's face broke out into a smile which quickly turned to laughter. "Never mind, is anyone hurt?"

"Wet." Jilly answered sulkily. "Am I in trouble again?"

"Let's just call it part of 'silly Sunday'."

She reached up to give him a 'thank you' hug and when she let go his jeans were soaking wet.

"Thanks for that, JillyBean."

"You're welcome." It was a phrase she'd picked up from Sue, who found it impossible to keep a straight face any longer.

"You think that's funny?" Bending over, he smothered his hands in bubbles.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?" He advanced towards her but she ducked under his arms and grabbed Laura.

"I need to get her into some dry clothes." She called over her shoulder as she beat a hasty retreat down the hall.

"You'll keep. Can you take Jilly with you, while I clean this up?"

o-xxx-o

Jack had insisted on cooking the dinner so Sue had volunteered to clean up again and for the second time that day, her tears spilled over when she walked back into the living room. He was on the couch, his leg stretched out across the coffee table as he read the girls a story. Laura was on his lap, nestled in the crook of his arm and Jilly was on the other side with his free one wrapped around her, holding her close. Hastily retreating to the kitchen, she tore off a sheet of paper towel and wiped her eyes. Today had been an extended glimpse into the way things could have been if she'd gotten his message all those years ago and it hurt.

She'd thought that life in New York City would be an adventure but it hadn't taken her long to realise she'd made a mistake. The job hadn't come close to her expectations. Oh, there had been travel, but only to backwater Field Offices within the US, and they had been few and far between, while Hackford himself, took on the trips abroad. She'd had her own office, literally, with no one to talk to sometimes for days and when the other Agents reported to her, they mostly did it via phone or fax. What with being in charge and not having much interaction with the others in the Unit, she hadn't managed to make any real friends either, which had left her alone most evenings in a tiny apartment she could barely afford and only Levi for company and then one night Capono had knocked on her door and she'd been so grateful to see a familiar face that she'd fallen for all his lies, hook, line and sinker; something she still couldn't forgive herself for.

Her thoughts turned to Jack, who obviously hadn't fared much better. She'd learned something new today but it had just added to the puzzle. She'd assumed he'd met Lisa sometime after she'd left, they'd fallen in love, married and had Jilly and then things had gone horribly wrong but now it appeared he'd known her since they were children in Wisconsin and the look on his face when he'd talked about her, told her it wasn't as clear cut as she'd first imagined. He still had feelings for the woman that was obvious, and apparently they weren't all bad, but as far as she knew Allie had been Jack's first girlfriend. He'd said once they had a lot of history between them so just where did Lisa fit into the picture? Was she the reason for their on-again/off-again romance? Myles and Bobby had both hinted once that he'd been a bit of a heartbreaker in his younger days… She almost jumped out of her skin when he came up behind her and touched her shoulder.

"Everything alright..?"

"Mmm hmm… Why?"

"No reason. Laura and Jilly are ready for bed, they want to say good night and then I need to talk to you."

"Jack, if it's about what happened earlier…" She flushed as she recalled what she'd been about to confess to him.

Sensing her discomfort, he gave her an out. "Let's put that down to 'silly Sunday' as well, shall we?"

She smiled gratefully and nodded. "So what do you want to talk to me about?"

"The case... I wasn't going to mention anything until we found out more but I think there's something you need to know."

"Let me see the girls and I'll be right with you."

o-xxx-o

She'd looked everywhere and eventually found him in the den sitting at his desk with his laptop open and an envelope on his desk.

"Not more questions from O.P.R?"

"What? Oh no, absolutely not..."

"Then what can I do for you, Special Agent Hudson?" She asked as she sat in the chair he'd drawn up for her.

He remained silent, wishing he was somewhere else, anywhere else…

"Jack?"

"Tara managed to open some of the files on Tony's hard drive."

"I thought you said she was in Chicago?"

"She was. I'll explain later."

"Okay."

"Anyway, she found some photographs in one of his Facebook accounts, personal photographs."

"Is that what's in the envelope?" She tried to pick it up but he moved it away.

"Sue, I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come straight out with it. They're pictures of Tony with…"

"Another woman," she finished for him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Do you want me to see if I recognise her?"

"We already know who she is. Sue, she has a child and we're pretty sure..."

"Sabrina and Carina..." He stared at her in stunned surprise. "She came to see me shortly after I moved back to D.C. to ask why I wouldn't give Tony the divorce he wanted, so he could marry her."

"He'd asked you for a divorce?"

"No and I didn't know anything about her until that day. There were others but he told me they were part of his undercover work and swore there was nothing going on. I wanted to believe it, so I let it pass, but a child? I couldn't forgive him for that. He'd never been a real father to Laura and now there was another innocent who was going to suffer the same way she had, and her mother was so young."

Jack was seething inside and it took all of his training to keep a lid on his feelings.

"What happened?"

"I told her I couldn't help her." She sighed and stood up. "Thank you for today, Laura and I had fun."

"Anytime… Sue, I'm... God, I hate this, maybe I should do as Bobby suggested and hand it over to someone else."

"Please don't. I came back to D.C. because I wanted you to handle it. They gave me a choice, here or New York and I chose here, I just didn't realise we'd finish up living under the same roof. And you have nothing to feel guilty about, remember I started this. I woke up one morning and knew I couldn't let him do it to anyone else, I had no idea it would go this far. It wasn't until I started packing up to leave that I found all the other stuff, I just thought that if I reported him to O.P.R. they'd either terminate or reassign him."

"And you'd have him back."

"He was never mine to begin with."

"I don't understand."

"You've done so much for me already but can I ask another favour?"

"Sue…"

"It's nothing that will compromise the case. I would never do that to you."

"What is it?"

"Whatever your task force uncovers, good or bad, promise me you'll be the one to tell me."

"There's more, isn't there?"

She nodded and walked to the door. "Good night."

"Good night."

Jack waited until he was sure she wasn't coming back and then vented his anger by slamming his fists down on the desk before taking the photographs out of the envelope and ripping them to shreds. Collecting up the pieces, he dropped them in the fireplace and put a match to them, watching with some satisfaction as Tony's likeness fast became nothing more than a pile of ashes.

o-xxx-o


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:** A new chapter for you at last! Sorry for the delay but my rotten year just keeps rolling. :-( Enjoy!

o-xxx-o

Uncertain whether the response she'd received had been positive or negative, Tara poked her head cautiously around the Supervisor's door, grinning when she saw the reason for the unintelligible reply - Jack was sitting at his desk with a mug of coffee and a mouth full of blueberry muffin. Using his free hand he motioned her forward.

"I could come back."

"That's okay," he covered his mouth as he spoke, hastily swallowing and taking a gulp of his drink. "Sorry about that."

"Mid-morning munchies..?" She smiled and sat down opposite him.

"I didn't have time for breakfast."

"So you thought you'd go for the less healthy alternative."

"As I recall Ms Williams, you had some pretty unhealthy addictions yourself. Do you still eat those weird, sugary, snake-like things?"

"That was the old Tara. The new Mrs Abbott promised her hubby she'd kick the habit."

"And how's that working out for you?"

"It's not." She rummaged around in her pocket and pulled out a paper bag. "I won't tell if you don't."

"Deal," screwing up the empty wrapper he tossed it in the bin and took another sip of coffee.

"Better?"

"Much, thank you. You have something for me?"

"Conference Room 3"

Grabbing his mug, a notepad and pen, Jack followed her along the corridor.

o-xxx-o

"What do you have?"

"We executed the warrant first thing this morning and I have…" She opened one of the envelopes she was carrying. "…a few more images to decorate your board."

Jack moved his chair so he could see.

"There were a total of five other profiles apart from the one we knew about, Sabrina and Carina… Sabrina and Carina, don't you just love the way that slips off the tongue? Sabrina and Carina, Sab…"

"Tara!"

"Sorry… Meet Sarah Chissim from West Virginia, Perdita Cordoba, Arizona, Marie Godin, Indiana and Jenny May Caine, Florida…" She pinned them up one at a time. "As far as I can figure, I'd say he used them for his undercover work, made each of them public depending on what case he was working on. You should get Myles and Raul to check his case files again."

"And they're all real people?"

"Living and breathing."

He was loath to ask the next question. "Any more kids involved?"

"Not with these but just because they're the only ones on Facebook, doesn't mean…"

"There aren't others," he finished for her feeling almost physically sick. "At least this opens up a few more avenues of inquiry. Any luck with the rest of the drive?"

"Not so far. There's one partition that's so well locked down, even I haven't managed to crack it, but I'm not ready to give in just yet."

"That's the Tara we all know and love," he studied the board for a few minutes. "Wait, didn't you say there were five profiles? I only count four."

"I know." She'd been forced to give him bad news once before, when she'd had to break it to him that his ex-girlfriend, Kristen Wolfe, had died, but somehow what she had to say next seemed a whole lot worse.

"Tara?"

"I erm…" Taking a breath she tried again. "The fifth one… It says she's his wife and they have a child together but it could be a story he's invented or maybe it's a mistake…"

Now he understood what she was trying so hard not to tell him. "It's okay Tara, I know."

"You know what?" She asked cagily.

"I know about Sue and Laura."

"Thank the Lord," she heaved a sigh of relief and sank down onto the nearest chair. "I hate being the bad news bearing girl. How do you know?"

"She's the one who gave us the drive in the first place."

"Us..? Who, us..?"

"Bobby and I"

"And you didn't tell me?"

"No-one else knows, apart from Pinter that is."

"Not even Myles?"

"No, I thought it would be safer for her that way." He quickly brought her up to speed. "Now you know absolutely everything."

"Thanks, for trusting me."

"I always have."

"Can I see her?"

"I don't think…"

She interrupted him. "She may be able to help."

He still looked doubtful and she decided to come clean.

"There's some stuff on here, personal stuff. Photographs, she wouldn't want her mother to see, if you catch my drift."

"What?"

"They're pretty risqué and I don't think she knew they were being taken."

He declined the offer of the copies she'd made. "Can you delete them without leaving any traces?" She gave him an old-fashioned look. "Of course you can, what was I thinking? I'll need to make a couple of calls."

"Okay. Does O.P.R. have her in a safe house?"

"Not exactly…" he pulled out his cell. "Crash, CR3 and ask the others to join us in 30." Hanging up, he punched in another number. "Rob? Jack, I need another favour…"

"Rob from S.O.G? You're really playing it safe, aren't you?"

"I only trust the people I know…" The call-back interrupted them. "Okay thanks, I owe you one buddy." He returned his attention to his fellow Agent. "He'll meet you outside Starbucks and take you where you need to go and Tara…"

"Don't worry, if anyone asks I went for a coffee and then on to meet a snitch, which technically isn't a lie."

"You'll need this…" he scribbled something onto a scrap of paper and handed it to her. "The key code for the front door… You'll understand when you get there."

"How do I get back?"

"I'll pick you up when I'm done here."

o-xxx-o

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

"I'm sure," Rob grinned at the woman in the passenger seat. "You were expecting something else?"

"I guess not." Tara quickly collected up her things.

"Do you have the code?"

"Yep," she confirmed, digging around in her pocket and coming out with a crumpled piece of paper.

"Then I'll head back. Can you make sure you shred it or something, wouldn't want it ending up in the wrong hands."

"I could eat it, like in the movies."

"I don't think Hudson could afford the hospital bills," he laughed, giving her a wave as he pulled away.

Frowning she shook her head, she'd been to lots of 'safe' houses in her time but this set up was completely different. After tapping in the numbers she pushed the door open and was greeted by a small, very pretty, blonde girl.

"Hi, you must be Laura. Can you get your Mommy for me?"

She disappeared through the nearest doorway only to return a few seconds later with her Mom in tow. The two ex-colleagues greeted each other reservedly and Sue led her into the living room.

"Wow, this is some place, O.P.R. really pulled out all the stops, beats those seedy hotel rooms hands-down."

"It's not a 'safe' house," Sue corrected her. "It's Jack's home."

"Well that explains all the cloak and dagger stuff," she hesitated for a moment. "It's good to see you, Sue."

"You too," Sue agreed relaxing visible.

"Really, I wasn't sure if..? I mean, when you didn't stay in touch, I thought…"

Signing her apology the taller woman held out her arms and Tara met her halfway, giving her a hug.

"Jack said you needed to talk to me about what you found on the drive?"

"I did, do but…" she looked a little guilty. "I guess I could have done it on the phone. It was really an excuse to see you. I've missed our girlie chats."

"Me too," she indicated the couch with the sweep of her hand. "Would you like to sit down? Laura, honey, Mommy needs you to play quietly while she talks to Tara, okay?"

"Can I watch the 'effalumps again, pweese?"

"Alright, but in my room" she turned to her guest who was looking bewildered.

"E-F-F-A-L-U-M-P-S?"

"H-E-F-F-A-L-U-M-P-S. DVD," Sue explained. "Coffee..?"

"Please."

"Be right back."

"Business or pleasure, first..?" Her visitor queried once they were settled.

"I think business."

"Okay."

They talked for over an hour about the various profiles she'd uncovered but Sue hadn't been able to help, not recognising any of the faces, and then Tara knew she had to move on to the more sensitive topic. "Sue, there were other images…"

"Want me to take a look?" She was surprised by her friend's reaction. "Tara..?"

"I… er…" she swallowed hard. "They're photographs of you and… here…" She handed her an envelope. "**Sorry**."

Sue took it and flicked through the contents, her face turning scarlet with embarrassment. "How could he do that?"

"You didn't know he'd taken them?" There were pictures of her both in the shower, taken through a steamy glass door, and in bed asleep with the sheet down around her waist.

"No, I…" Tears of humiliation filled her eyes. "Please tell me he didn't put them out on the internet."

Tara took her hand and held onto it. "As far as I can tell they were kept under wraps, he never made them public."

"Thank God." Another horrifying thought struck her and she gasped. "Did you… Has Jack seen them?"

"Uh-huh," she shook her head. "He knows about them, not the actual details but that they exist. He didn't want to see them, just asked me if they could be deleted without leaving a trace."

"And..?"

"Already done... These are the only remaining copies that I know of, unless Tony had them printed up for himself. I just thought you ought to know. You want me to put them through the shredder at work?"

"No, I'd rather burn them, if that's okay with you?"

"Probably the best..."

"Did any of the other profiles have anything like this in them?"

"Only Sabrina's and it looks as though they were taken with her consent… definitely posed, and highly graphic."

Sue shuddered.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why, Tony? I mean after what happened before with Jack and the case and the things Lucy told you, I thought…"

Not really wanting to re-open old wounds, Sue closed her eyes for a moment but she knew her friend deserved some kind of explanation. "I was lonely and he was there. I hated it in New York. The work was boring and most of the people in my department resented my being there. They didn't think I was qualified enough for the job but that I'd got it out of some misguided attempt by the bureau to be politically correct and put a 'handicapped' person in a position of authority."

"Ouch, but Hackford head-hunted you because he knew you'd be perfect for the job."

"He moved on after about two months, transferred to Arizona and his replacement, well…" she shrugged.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. I had no friends to speak of and everything moved so quickly, people were always in a hurry and it was kind-of scary living there on my own and then one day Tony showed up at my apartment. He said he'd been working in the area and thought he'd look me up because he wanted to clear the air. He had an explanation for everything and it all seemed so believable.

"I hadn't intended for it to get serious but then Levi got sick and he supported me all the way through it, even took a leave of absence so he could be with me when…" The tears were streaming down her face and her friend pulled her into a hug.

"Mommy…"

She moved back so she could sign to her that Laura was in the room and Sue quickly dried her eyes.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"It finished and I'm thirsty."

"Okay, I'll get you a drink and then it's time for your nap."

"Not tired," the little girl protested, rubbing her eyes.

"What if I let you sleep in my bed?"

"Pigwit too..?"

"Pigwit too"

"Okay."

When she came back into the room she was calm again and Tara gave her a perplexed stare. "Okay, I give up, what's a pigwit?"

Sue grinned finger-spelling and speaking at the same time. "P-I-G-L-E-T. You know… from 'Winnie the Pooh'."

The other woman smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand and shook her head. "Of course… I was more of an Eeyore kinda gal."

"Tigger for me, every time, I loved all the bouncing but never had any idea what was going on... couldn't read their lips."

Laughing, Tara looked around, a cheeky grin on her face. "So, what's it like living with Jack?"

Sue rolled her eyes as she sat down again. "I'm not 'living' with him I'm just staying in his spare room."

"But you eat your meals and spend your evenings together," she teased.

"Eat, yes, but he spends most evenings in the den."

"Oh," her voice held a tinge of disappointment. "How does he get on with Laura?"

"Fine and Jilly's almost like an older sister to her."

"Jilly?"

"Jilly, Jack's daughter…" she prompted.

"Jack has a daughter?"

"I thought you knew."

"Uh-uh but I haven't been in D.C. for… Hold on, did you say _older_ sister?"

Sue stared at her in confusion. "That's right, Laura's three-and-a-half and Jilly's four-and-three-quarters."

"I had no idea. When I left a couple of years ago, there was no mention of… Do tell..?" She begged, unconsciously making herself more comfortable.

"I don't know much, just her name, age and that her mother's name is Lisa and Jack's known her since they were kids in Wisconsin."

"Have you met her?"

"No, I think they're separated or maybe divorced."

"Does Bobby know about this?"

"Yes."

"But Lucy and I didn't. How could he...?" Opening up her laptop she typed furiously on the keyboard for a few seconds and then hit the return key. "Well that's no help."

"What?"

"I just accessed the personnel records…"

"You didn't!"

"…Discreetly of course, and Jack is listed as having a child but there's nothing about a Mrs Hudson, divorced or otherwise."

"I don't understand."

"It says he's single." Tara thought for a moment. "How old did you say she was?"

"Four years and about eight months"

"…Which means, she must have been conceived five years and five months ago, around June." A look of sadness and disbelief crossed her face. "Oh wow, that would be about the time…"

"Tara, what is it?"

"Jack's father died suddenly in April of that year. He was just getting back on his feet physically and emotionally after the accident and the call came out of the blue. He went to pieces." There were tears in her eyes. "D ordered compulsory leave and he flew back to be with his Mom. We hoped she'd be able to put things right but it got worse. He started drinking, heavily, hanging out in the local bars and, come to think of it, there was talk of a woman, although her name was never mentioned. We thought it might have been Allie but maybe it was this Lisa. Bobby went to Wisconsin to see if he could get him back on track but nothing he did seemed to help and then suddenly one Monday morning he walked in through the office door and it was as though those few months had never happened. He didn't talk about it with anyone except Bobby and we didn't ask."

"Wow," Sue sighed. "But I wonder why, after all that time, he'd decide to fight for custody? It doesn't sound as though he…" She broke off when Tara put up her hand.

"That's odd."

"What?"

"I just ran the same check on Capono. He's definitely listed as having been married for…" she hesitated. "… and he's been flagged by the Bureau as a possible security risk."

"Why would that be odd?"

"It wouldn't but so has Jack."

"You said he was down as single…" She stated feeling a little lost.

"He is." Tara turned the screen so Sue could see and pointed to a specific entry. "But he's been flagged as well."

"By O.P.R...?"

"I guess so."

"He did say he thought Pinter was trying to get rid of him."

"Apparently, he's right. Why would..?" She stopped abruptly.

"Tara?"

"J-A-C-K" she signed and pointed in the general direction of the front door before quickly shutting down her laptop and slipping it into her bag.

o-xxx-o


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:** Thank you all for your kind words and welcome back Asia, missed you. A quick question for one of the 'guest' reviewers - Are 'greasy' stories a good or bad thing? :-D Hope you all enjoy the new chapter.

o-xxx-o

"You're early," Sue greeted him a little too brightly, putting him on instant alert.

"Did I interrupt something?" He gave them both a nervous smile and Sue blushed guiltily, confirming his suspicions.

"I, we…"

"Sue was telling me about your daughter." Tara came to her rescue.

"Ah," he turned towards the door. "Jilly come here please, there's someone I want you to meet."

The girl walked in and stood beside him, a scowl on her face.

"This is Tara, she's an old friend."

"Not that old… Hi, Jilly..."

"Hi. Can I go now? You said I had to tidy my room."

"Go on then." She disappeared without a backward glance.

"Was it something I said?" Tara joked, a little hurt by the snub and Jack shook his head.

"She's having a bad day."

"I didn't think four-year-olds had those."

"This one does. I'm going to shower and change."

The two women exchanged glances, one worried and the other concerned. Sue excused herself and followed him to his room where she found him sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm guessing that she isn't the only one having a bad day..."

Looking up he gave her a faint smile. "There's a kid in Day Care who's always teasing her and trying to get her into trouble."

"The same one who poured blackcurrant juice over her favourite t-shirt..?"

"That's him. I was halfway through a briefing when I got a call to say there'd been some kind of incident and they needed to see me." He ran his fingers through his hair. "It seems Jilly lost her temper and upended the glass jug the kids had been cleaning their paintbrushes in, over his head."

Sue tried not laugh but was only partially successful.

"I thought it was funny too but unfortunately, neither his parents nor Miss Matheson saw it that way and in the end it cost me fifty bucks for new clothes for the boy and a warning that if she misbehaved again, I'd have to find somewhere else for her."

"That's not so funny."

"Jilly wanted to come home but I had to get back to work or Pinter really would have had me fired, he was pretty darned angry when I left... And for the perfect ending to the day, she decided to call in her I.O.U. for pizza on the way home, which I had to say no to as well and the end result was…"

"A temper tantrum…"

"A real doozy... How is it kids always know just the right pitch to set your teeth on edge and rattle your brain?"

Sue smiled sympathetically, "I think its instinct."

"Or hereditary… Her mother was just the same. God, sometimes I feel completely out of my depth."

"You're just tired."

"Maybe…" Getting to his feet he swayed a little and Sue grabbed his arm.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just stood up too fast."

"Have you eaten today?"

"I had a muffin around lunchtime."

"Jack…"

He winced at her tone, "don't you start in on me, too."

"Sorry," she rubbed his arm soothingly. "Have your shower and take a couple of aspirin, I'll talk to Jilly and fix dinner. I think it will be better if Tara stays, that way you'll have the chance to catch your breath before you take her home."

"Good idea but do you think we could order out? Hopefully, if we have pizza or something, it'll go part way to appeasing little Miss Shrek and turning her back into a human child."

Sue laughed, "I'll order it for half-an-hour."

"**Thank you**. Use the number in the book and if it shows up early have Tara answer the door, okay." Tossing her his wallet, he disappeared into the bathroom and immediately reappeared, waving a hand to gain her attention. "Are you okay? Tara told you about what she found?"

"She told me. **Talk later**."

"**Yes**."

o-xxx-o

"So is Jilly the reason you haven't been to Chicago for a visit?" Tara queried as Jack pulled the car out onto the main road. "Because if she is, you're welcome to bring her with you, just give me a little notice so I can stock up on frozen pizza, need to keep on her good side."

Jack laughed. "I'm sorry about earlier, sometimes she can be an unholy terror and others," he shrugged.

"She's a kid, mood swings are part of the job description. You have a beautiful home by the way but I think it would be too quiet for me. No traffic noise, no sirens in the middle of the night…"

"That's why I like it."

"You can take the boy out of the small town but you can't take the small town out of the boy."

"Something like, that."

"Talking of Wisconsin how's your Mom?" His face clouded over. "Uh-oh, wrong question... Why do I always do that?"

"It's okay. Let's just say we have some bridges to rebuild. I'm hoping to go home with Jilly for a few days some time before Christmas." He sighed, "That is if we ever get this case laid to rest."

"The case or Tony..?"

"Both… only don't tell Sue I said so."

"My lips are sealed. Sue and Tony, I never saw that coming." She shook her head. "But then I never imagined you with a kid either. I always thought you and Bobby would be confirmed bachelors for the rest of your lives."

"Crash maybe, I always hoped to get married and have a family one day, I just didn't imagine it would be like this."

There were so many questions she wanted to ask but she'd known him long enough not to. However, the conversation had given her the opening she'd been looking for.

"Talking of marriages…"

"Mmm…" he tensed as he turned the corner that would take him into the heart of D.C., waiting for the inevitable question but it never came.

"Capono… It says in his personnel file that he's married…"

"That's because he is, Tara… Hold on, you accessed his personnel file? Those things are locked down tighter than Myles' wallet. How did you… or do I not want to know?"

"Do you remember that time he bought himself in the bachelor auction so he didn't have to pay for a trip to the Italian Riviera? I wonder if Tony ever took Sue there, after all he must have family in Italy. I mean real family not 'family'. Maybe for their honeymoon or something, how romantic…"

"Tara…"

"Yes?"

"The personnel file," he prompted impatiently.

"Oh right, it says he's married…"

"We got that far."

"…And has been for the past fourteen years."

Shocked, Jack took his eyes off the road to see if she was serious and then had to slam on the brakes as he almost ran a red light.

"Well that woke me up."

"…Makes two of us. If you were going to drop that kind of bombshell, it probably would have been safer to warn me first."

"In that case I think you'd better pull over."

"It's a bit late now."

"There's more."

He did as he was asked and took a breath. "What, more?"

"He has four kids, not including Laura and Carina, three sons and a daughter. They live in California with his wife, er… other wife, first wife, legal wife… The boys are twelve, ten and five and the girl is two-and-a-half." She waited for it all to sink in and when it did Jack raked his fingers through his hair.

"Then they were together when he and Sue…"

"And, Sabrina..."

Putting a hand to his mouth he drew in another calming breath. "…I wonder if that's what she meant."

"What? Who..?"

"Sorry?"

"Who meant what?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking aloud. Did you mention any of this to Sue?"

"No, I thought I'd leave that to you, after all you're the case Agent."

"Thanks a lot. Is there anything else before we move? I have absolutely no intention of spending another two months in the hospital."

"Me either… Not that I ever have but…"

"I know what you meant." He eased the car out into the traffic.

"One thing…"

"You need me to stop again?"

"No, I just thought of something… I'm sure Lucy warned Sue that he was married and had a roving eye."

"I don't…"

"Oh that's right, you weren't there. He must be a really good liar to fool her twice."

"It's his job, remember?"

"Good point." She looked out of the window. "You can drop me here."

o-xxx-o

After Jilly's tantrum he'd thought his day couldn't get any worse but now he knew that he'd been tempting fate. All the way home he'd been trying to figure out how to tell her but there was no easy way, she was going to get hurt however it turned out and he hated that he was going to be the one to do it. Parking up, he got out of the car and started towards the front door but one of the S.O.G. team that were keeping an eye on the house called out to him.

"Jack, wait up!"

"Steve, what's wrong? You need to use the bathroom or something."

"Not a bad idea, it's damn cold out here tonight."

"You're both welcome to come in for coffee."

"I might just take you up on that but we'd best do it one at a time."

Jack's smile faded. "Should I be worried?"

"We're not sure yet. Just after you left, a black SUV with tinted windows drove by, we didn't think much of it at the time but it's gone past a couple more times since."

"Could have got lost, it's easy to do around here."

"Maybe…"

"But you don't think so?"

"Let's just say I'm going to call Rob and ask for an extra team for the night and I suggest you make sure everything's locked up tight."

"Thanks for this I know it could get you into hot water with them upstairs."

"Don't worry about it, Rob's got it covered and besides, I'm sure you'd do the same for us."

"Coffee will be ready when you are."

"Perhaps you should just fill up the thermos, wouldn't want to frighten the kids."

Going inside for the second time, Jack made sure the front door was secure then strode purposefully to the kitchen doing the same with the backdoor and windows before lowering the blinds. When he turned Sue was standing behind him watching him intently.

"Everything, okay?"

He plastered on what he hoped was a reassuring smile, "just locking up for the night." Walking past her he checked the living room.

Sue wasn't fooled for a second. "What's wrong, Jack? I know there's something."

He quickly explained to her and she sank down onto the couch. "I'm sorry."

"What for..?"

"I shouldn't have let you talk me into staying here, it wasn't fair."

Sitting beside her for a moment, he took her hand. "Look, we've been through this already, several times in fact. It was my idea not yours and with S.O.G outside we're quite safe," he assured her and then stood up. "Or we will be once I've finished battening down the hatches."

"But…"

"Uh-uh," he waggled a finger at her. "No more apologies, okay? There's only one person to blame for all this and it isn't you."

Sue nodded, knowing she wasn't making things any easier for him, he had to be worried. "I'll do the girls' room."

"I'll do it. I have to let Jilly know I'm back anyway. Can you make sure your room's okay? Pull the blinds and the drapes and use the lamps instead of the overhead light."

"Should I move Laura in with me?"

"No, there's no need to disturb her, they'll be alright where they are." She looked at him doubtfully. "Trust me, when this place is locked up it's like a fortress."

Twenty minutes later he sat down on the couch again. "All done and Steve says the car hasn't been back. Perhaps we can have that talk now."

"Here or in the den?"

Jack smiled. "Here will be fine."

"I'll make us some hot chocolate."

He sipped it gratefully as he filled her in on the day's events and told her that Myles and Raul were chasing down the other women. It had to be difficult for her and to her credit she'd kept her composure but he knew what he was going to say next would probably shatter it into a million pieces, something he wasn't sure he was prepared for.

"Sue… Tara told me something else."

"What now?" He didn't reply just stared at her with an unfathomable look on his face.

"Jack?"

"She managed to get into the personnel records."

"And..?"

"She checked Tony's and he's listed as married."

"I guessed he would be," she sighed.

"I wish there was an easier way to say this…" he whispered, frowning miserably. "He's listed as married but…"

"No to me."

"You understand she could have made a mist… What did you say?"

"I thought I was the one who was deaf," she teased half-heartedly.

"You knew?"

"Yes."

"Sue, I need to know what happened."

"For you or the case..?"

"Both," he admitted honestly.

She spent a good hour telling him the story of her time in New York and how he'd come back into her life. One or two things were new to him but the rest she'd either told him before or he'd guessed.

"I'm sorry about Levi."

"Thank you." A lone tear ran down her face and he reached over to brush it away. "That was the one thing that made me really believe him."

Jack remained silent. "He was kind and caring, helped me get Levi to the vet and stayed with me until the end. Then he took a month's leave so I wouldn't be alone and when he told me that he loved me I believed that too. I wanted to believe it."

"Perhaps he did, in his own way." He hated saying it but knew it was what she needed to see.

"Maybe…" she agreed. "And then he asked me to marry him. It was very romantic and we…" she looked into his eyes and saw the hurt which he tried to hide. "You don't need to hear that."

Jack shrugged. "Tara was under the impression that Lucy had warned you about him."

"Lucy…"

He hadn't thought she could look any sadder than she already did but he was wrong. "Sue..?"

She raised her hand and he waited patiently while she regained some of her composure. "She did but he had an explanation for it. He told me he knew Lucy's friend and that they'd dated a few times but it hadn't worked out and he'd dumped her. I called Lucy to ask her if what he said could be true and she said it was possible but she doubted it then when he proposed I called her again and asked her to be my bridesmaid but she said no." Taking out a tissue she wiped her eyes. "I didn't find out until much later that Tony had got her friend thrown out of the Bureau. I haven't heard from her since."

"I'm sorry I know how close the two of you were."

"Is she still in D.C.? I might try to patch things up while I'm here."

"No, she went to live with her sister."

"Oh." Her tears were flowing freely now. "He took everything from me. My job, my friends, my parents and I let him. How could I have been so stupid?"

Not knowing how to answer, he just took her hand again and held it tightly, rubbing the back with his thumb. "How did he manage that?"

"He asked me to resign from the Bureau because he was afraid that someone would recognise me and compromise him as an undercover Agent but he said I could still help him by using my special skill set. Sometimes I think that's all he ever wanted me for. I was bored to tears sitting at home every day and suggested getting a different job, that's when he said he wanted to start a family. I'd always wanted children, so I put the whole work thing on hold. We often had to move house which made it difficult for me to make any friends and he was away a lot, on assignment or so I thought but who knows what he was really doing," she shrugged resignedly. "You know I once told Betty van der Wylen that I understood what she was going through but I really didn't, not until now."

"And your parents," Jack prompted.

"My Mom didn't like him, said he tried too hard to please everyone and she didn't trust him."

"I think from past experience that I already know how that turned out."

"You're right," she sighed. "I sent them a wedding invitation but they didn't come. I should have known better."

"Why? Your mother knew you loved him," he couldn't believe he was actually defending the jerk when all he really wanted to do was beat him to a bloody pulp. "She should have understood that…"

"Uh-uh," Sue shook her head. "You don't know my Mom. The same thing happened with Billy, the oldest of my brothers. He married someone she didn't approve of and it took years for her to just allow him into the family home again but she never accepted his wife or his children. She doesn't know about any of this not even Laura. I'm all alone and I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Oh, Sue…" Tears prickled the backs of his eyes. "You're not alone, I'm here for you."

"You've done too much already and besides you have enough problems to deal with. You don't need me adding to them."

Reaching out, he pulled her close. "It'll be okay, you'll see." He held her for the longest time while she cried and when she finally broke away she looked exhausted, something he could definitely empathise with. He stroked her hair back from her face and then stood up but when she tried to do the same he stopped her. "Stay there while I run you a warm bath then I'll check on the girls and make you some more hot chocolate for when you come out."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know but I want to."

"**Thank you**."

"**You're welcome**." A sound from outside attracted his attention and he went to the window and lifted a corner of the blind, only to receive the thumbs up from Steve who had obviously dropped something onto the gravel driveway.

"Everything, okay? I'd almost forgotten about what was going on out there."

"Me too, I'll run that bath."

Once the house was quiet Jack went into the den unlocking the safe where he kept his service revolver. Taking it to his room, he checked the clip to make sure it was full before putting it in the drawer beside him, dimming the lamp without actually turning it off and getting into bed himself.

o-xxx-o


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Phew, made it - barely! I'm afraid this chapter was written in a bit of a rush but I've never been a 'Christmas Wish' before and i didn't want to let anyone down. Happy Christmas/Holiday Season to everyone reading this. Hopefully, you'll be kind enough to grant my wish as well and leave a review at the end! Enjoy!

o-xxx-o

Staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror the next morning, Jack could see he was in trouble. All the signs of another sleepless night were etched into his face and he knew Crash would pick up on it the moment he laid eyes on him. There would be the customary casual inquiry followed by the prolonged interrogation until he finally gave in just to get some peace and quiet and then would come the 'I told you so'. Of course, he wouldn't actually say the words aloud but they'd be there all the same. Shaking his head resignedly, he made his way across the room to the shower then cleaned his teeth, shaved and dressed before unlocking the front door and going to speak to the S.O.G unit outside.

The now-familiar scene that greeted him in the kitchen lifted his mood a little and he managed a wistful smile. The girls were sitting at the table with bowls of cereal and glasses of either orange juice or milk in front of them and as he walked in Sue immediately got to her feet.

"The kids were hungry so I'm afraid we've started without you."

"That's okay." He turned to the refrigerator but she stopped him.

"You sit down, I'll do it."

"Thanks."

"What would you like?"

"Just toast and a gallon of coffee…"

"You're sure? I can cook something if you'd like."

"No, that's okay." Leaning back he closed his eyes and stretched, opening them again when he felt a small hand slide into his.

"Are you okay, Daddy?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart."

"No more bad dreams?"

"No, JillyBean, no bad dreams." To have bad dreams you actually have to sleep something he hadn't done, at least not until the dawn had broken, but he kept that particular snippet to himself. He'd watched over the house all night just in case someone had gotten past all the security measures, his gaze barely leaving the door opposite his room where the children slept in a cloud of unknowing. Sue put a plate in front of him and he could read the unspoken question in her eyes. He smiled and nodded to let her know that everything was okay.

"Daddy…"

"Yes, honey?"

"Don't forget me today."

"Why would I do that?"

"We're going home early so that Ms Matheson can go Christmas shopping, remember?"

Jack sighed and waved the spoon he'd been stirring his coffee with in her direction. "Right…"

"You did forget." The young girl pouted sulkily.

"No, I… Okay, I did, I'm sorry but now you've reminded me I'll be there sweetheart, I promise. And if I can't make it I'll ask Uncle Crash or Tara to pick you up."

"Okay," she sighed sadly.

"What?"

"I thought we could go shopping too."

"I have to work, JillyBean, you know that."

"I know. Can I please be excused?"

"If, you've finished..?"

"I have." She walked away dejectedly and Jack covered his nose and mouth with his hands before wiping them across his cheeks and under his chin.

"Damn… Sorry," he immediately apologised.

"That's okay."

"I just can't seem to do anything right lately, I thought she understood…"

Sue took his hand in hers. "She does, deep down, but in spite of how grown-up she tries to be, she's still only four-years old."

Pushing away his half-eaten toast, he sighed again. "Sometimes I forget."

"Before you came in she was telling me about the other kids in her Day Care group. How they're all really excited about Christmas and their houses are decorated and their mothers are cooking up a feast. They're going to see Santa at the mall very soon too and they've all written letters to him. I think she just feels a bit left out."

"Has JillyBean written a letter?"

"She didn't say but I would imagine so. I know I always used to write one every year. I'll tell you what… While you're both out today I'll have a look around, see if I can find it."

"**Thank you**."

"I'll make you some more toast, that must be cold."

"No, don't bother. Suddenly I'm not very hungry." He got wearily to his feet. "Promise me you'll stay away from the windows and keep the blinds pulled down while I'm gone. S.O.G. will be right outside and I'm just a phone-call away." Walking to the door he turned to face her again. "I hate leaving you here like this but I don't know…" he shrugged instead of finishing his sentence.

"Jack, we'll be fine. The place is a fortress, remember?"

He smiled softly and she crossed the room to give him a reassuring hug.

"We'll be fine."

o-xxx-o

Seemingly endless meetings, the last thing he'd needed that morning. Jack was pretty certain that one day the powers-that-be would call a meeting to discuss the next meeting, still, on the plus side they were keeping him out of Bobby's crosshairs. To be fair he knew that his friend was just concerned about him, but sometimes he wished…

He was bored rigid and as a consequence his thoughts kept wandering to things he considered to be far more important than ways to streamline work practices. Cases were being investigated and solved on a daily basis so what did it matter about the structure of each department and how efficiency could be improved? He'd been itching to call home for over an hour to make sure everything was okay while trying to figure out how he could spend more time with Jilly or at least get to the shops to buy a tree and some decorations. He remembered full-well how big a deal Christmas had been to him at her age and he was letting her down badly…

"So what do you think, Jack?"

The sound of his name startled him back to reality and he realised he had no idea what had been said.

"Erm, I… I think we should definitely give it some more thought. See if we can come up with something fresh before the next meeting," he offered hopefully.

"We're all agreed then," the Agent in charge stated as he brought the discussion to a close and Jack sighed in relief but as he tried to escape, the older man stopped him. "I was hoping for a little more input from you Special Agent Hudson, especially since you're relatively new to all this. Fresh mind, fresh ideas and all that..."

"I'm sorry, Sir... My Team is working on a big case right now and I'm afraid I haven't had the chance to…"

"No need to apologise," he rested a hand on his shoulder. "Personally, I think these things are a waste of time anyway."

"Thanks."

Walking along the corridor towards his office, Jack cringed when he heard an all-too-familiar voice call his name.

"Jack, wait up mate."

"Crash, if you've come to give me another lecture, then…"

"Nope, I've said all I have to say on that subject. I'm here to take you to lunch."

The shorter man checked his watch. "I'm not sure I have time."

"Then make it, I'm buying."

Jack looked at him incredulously. "What brought this on?"

"I promise Sue," the Aussie confessed. "She called about an hour ago and asked me to make sure you had something to eat. Look mate, I'm sorry about earlier, the last thing you needed was me on your case as well. So, how about it..?"

He was still considering declining when his stomach growled loudly. "Okay you win and then we need to get everyone together in CR3."

o-xxx-o

"So," Jack took his usual seat at the head of the conference table. "Please tell me we have something new."

Tara stood beside him and pinned the additional female faces to the board, writing their names below each picture. "Myles and Raul have checked them out…"

"And…" The Bostonian took over from her. "They are all definitely living and they recall meeting Capono at one time or another but they had no idea he was using them as part of his undercover persona. Two of them didn't like him at all, in fact they were quite disparaging. He might consider himself to be God's gift to women but the consensus of opinion seems to indicate that he's merely delusional."

Quickly smothering a satisfied grin, Jack pressed on. "No more children?"

"Not with these particular ladies…"

"I'm sure Sue will be relieved." Tara stated but one look at the Supervisor's face told her she'd spoken louder than she'd intended. "Jack, I…"

"And who pray tell is Sue?" Myles queried and Raul answered for the group.

"Tony's wife..."

The Harvard man looked to each of his colleagues taking in both Jack's annoyance and Tara's guilty flush and the penny finally dropped. "Oh please, you can't be serious? Thomas is Capono's wife?" The silence in the room told him everything.

"Myles, I shouldn't have…" The petite Agent stammered.

"Oh I see. It was alright for the rest of you to know but not me? What did you think I'd do, take out an ad in the Washington Post or something?"

"Know what? Am I missing something here?" Rodriguez interrupted but his questions went unanswered.

"Don't blame them, it was my call."

"Well thanks a lot, Jack. I'm surprised you even allowed me to be a part of your precious Team."

"Myles, I…"

"If you'll all excuse me I believe I need to pack. There's a flight back to Boston in the morning and I intend to be on it. It might be dull there but at least the people you work with don't stab you in the back."

Jack was tired, too tired to think before he spoke. "You mean the same way you stabbed Sue in the back all those years ago?"

"Excuse me?"

"You thought I didn't know you went to see Ted Garrett and tried to have her removed from the Unit?"

"Sparky…" Bobby cautioned. "Maybe this isn't the time, mate."

"You're right. Myles, it was wrong of me not to tell you. I know you would never jeopardise any case that you worked on and I apologise. I need you on this Team but if you'd rather leave then I'll understand." Getting up he walked to the door. "And I need some air. Maybe one of you could fill Raul in about Sue."

Returning fifteen minutes later, he could tell that there had been some sort of discussion between them but thankfully they were all still there. Giving Myles a questioning glance, he received a curt nod of response.

"Thank you. Now, where were we?"

They spent the next couple of hours hashing over the old evidence but just ended up more frustrated than ever. Jack was about to call the meeting to an end when his cell went off.

"Hudson. Put him through. Yeah, I know who this is. How could I forget?" He waved a hand to get everyone to quieten down. "What can I do for you? I don't think so… Why don't you just turn yourself in?"

"T-O-N-Y" Tara signed and Jack nodded as he continued to listen.

"You don't want me to answer that. Where and when?" Hanging up he punched in another number. "Did you get it? Damn!"

"Jack?"

"That was Tony… he wants to arrange a meet."

"There's a turn-up. Where and when?"

"He's gonna get back to me."

"He's coming in?" Raul queried.

"No, he wants his laptop."

"Like that's gonna happen." Bobby snorted.

"He says he has information to trade."

"I take it they didn't manage to trace the call?" Myles interjected.

"Not long enough."

"So I guess we'll just have to wait until he contacts us again," Tara sighed.

"It's all we can do. Myles, Raul could you run a check for any old haunts he might have in the area?"

"Will do..." The two men disappeared through the door.

"Jack, I'm really sorry about…"

"Forget it Tara, what's done is done. I should have been straight with him in the first place."

"He might be a pain in the rear but I can't see Harvard compromising the case in spite of any bad feeling between him and Tony."

"Talking of security… That guy D'Angelo, I think you might be right about him."

"How so..?"

"We were in the elevator this morning and he asked me about the Judge he'd suggested, you know, for the Facebook warrant. Wanted to know if we'd got everything we needed and whether it had helped with what we were working on and then he asked a question I didn't really understand about repairing your laptop, Jack. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and he mentioned a hard-drive he'd seen in your office…"

Bobby and Jack exchanged worried glances.

"Want me to talk to him, Sparks?"

"No, it sounds like he's just fishing for information. Leave it."

Tara yawned and glanced at her watch. "I don't know about you guys but I'm about ready to call it a day before I do any more damage around here."

"What time is it?" Jack demanded.

"Coming up to 5:30..."

"Hell! I should have picked Jilly up over an hour ago! Crash, lock up for me." He tossed Bobby the key and ran for the stairs.

The Aussie left the building at a more leisurely pace about thirty minutes later but as he passed the security desk the guard called him over.

"Hey Ray, what's up?"

"I thought maybe you could tell me."

"You've lost me."

"Is Special Agent Hudson okay? He came through here like a bat out of hell. Anything we should know about?"

Bobby laughed, "Nothing earth-shattering. He had to go pick up his daughter and he was running late."

"I gathered that much but take a look at this." Bobby leaned over his shoulder as he ran the surveillance tape back a ways and then stopped it. "This is where he left but here… It looks as though he found some kind of note on his windshield and then this…"

As they watched Jack drew his weapon and looked around before getting into his car without holstering it. Gunning the engine and turning on the flashing light, he screamed out of the lot and into the flow of traffic, almost causing a pile up in his wake. Worriedly, Bobby hit the speed dial on his cell but despite several attempts his calls went unanswered.

o-xxx-o


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:** Thank you for all the reviews, they definitely encourage me to write more!

o-xxx-o

He'd made this journey a hundred times but today it seemed to be taking forever even though he was using all the tools at his disposal to cut a swath through the downtown traffic. His driving was at times both dangerous and erratic but he couldn't bring himself to slow down, everything around him was a blur apart from the chilling words in the note he'd found tucked behind his windshield wiper…

_I'll let you know where and when. Bring the hard drive and come alone or the price you'll pay may be higher than you can live with. She's a very pretty child. It would be such a shame if…_

Finally, he pulled up outside the Day Care Centre but the place was in darkness apart from a single light in the entranceway. Taking out his gun he approached cautiously bringing it up ready to fire when a figure emerged.

"F.B.I. Freeze," he drew closer when the man complied. "Now turn around, slowly."

He did as he was asked and Jack recognised him instantly as the property's caretaker. Seeing the fear in the older man's eyes he holstered his weapon.

"Mr Hudson? What the hell? You scared the tar out of me!"

"Sorry, Bill."

"You know I'm far too long in the tooth to be losing ten years of my life in one terrifying second. Is something wrong?"

"Is Ms Matheson here?"

"No, she left a couple of hours ago after little Jilly was picked up."

"She was… Who..?" It was taking virtually all of his willpower not to grab the man by the collar and shake out an answer.

"Can't help you there Son, afraid I wasn't here."

Jack took out his cell and called Ms Matheson's number as he ran back to the car but it was switched off and when he tried Sue there was no reply… Just for good measure, he turned the key in the ignition and nothing happened, several further attempts got him nowhere and a combination of frustration and blind panic welled up inside of him. Leaning back he forced himself to take a moment to calm down and, almost inexplicably, found himself praying… praying that Jilly was safe and the car would start the next time. Taking a slow, deep breath, he tried once more and almost sobbed with relief when the engine turned over. He was desperate to get home; needed to make sure everyone was safe… With lights flashing and siren blaring he pulled back out into the flow of traffic leaving a bewildered and somewhat shaken Bill behind him.

Forty minutes… When did forty minutes become a lifetime? His emotions were all over the place… one moment he was hopeful, the next angry, then just plain terrified and all the time two words kept replaying themselves in his head… _Please God… please… please…_ _please_… How could he have been so damn selfish? How could he have gotten so caught up in work that he'd forgotten to pick up the one person who meant more to him than anything in his life and who depended on him to be there for her? What if Capono had taken her to make sure he did as he was told? What if he'd hurt her? What if he'd..? His thoughts were growing wilder, his mind envisioning all sorts of horrors… How would he live with himself if any harm had come to her? How could he face..? _Please God, please…please… please…_

At last he reached the turn-off that would take him home and somehow he conjured up the presence of mind to make a silent approach. As he turned into the driveway, he could see that the lights were on and it served to calm him a little but it still took him three attempts to open the car door because his hands were shaking so badly they kept slipping off the lever and when he finally managed it and stood up his legs felt like jelly. Taking a breath he almost jumped out of his skin when Steve came up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jack…"

"Jilly..?" Her name came out as a choked whisper.

"She's inside."

"Oh, thank God," he leaned back against the car, the relief almost bringing him to his knees.

"Someone brought her back a couple of hours ago."

"Who..?"

"No idea. We assumed that you'd arranged for someone to pick her up but whoever it was dropped her at the top of the road and left her to walk the rest of the way on her own in the dark. The poor mite was freezing cold and crying her heart out when she got here."

"I… I didn't ask anyone to pick her up. I…" He couldn't finish the sentence as guilt consumed him once more.

"I'm sorry Jack, if we'd known we would have checked him out or at least tried to trace the car." He regarded his friend with concern. "You should go inside, buddy, you don't look too good. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Thanks." It was a struggle to put one foot in front of the other, he felt numb both inside and out and when he opened the door Sue was there to meet him.

"Jack, thank God you're here."

"Jilly..?"

"She's…"

"Daddy, Daddy…" The little girl came running down the hall and threw herself into his waiting arms.

"Hey sweetheart, it's okay. I'm here." Picking her up, he carried her into the living room and sat in the armchair with her on his lap "Why all the tears?" He tried to make light of the situation but when he looked up Sue could see the haunted look in his eyes.

"You… didn't… come… I waited and waited…" Jilly managed to get out between sobs.

"I know," pausing for a moment, he silently begged for forgiveness for the lie he was about to tell. "But I did send someone to get you."

"I was frightened."

"Why?"

"It wasn't Uncle Bobby and I didn't want to go with him. You always told me not to talk to strangers or get in their cars but Ms Matheson said it was alright 'cos he had a badge like yours and evryfing." She sniffled and gulped in a breath. "He was mean. He told me to get in the back and keep quiet but I couldn't, it was too high and he hurt me. Look…" Sliding back her sleeve she showed him two finger-sized bruises on her wrist.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm sure he didn't mean to…" Raising her hand he touched his lips to each one very gently. "Better?"

"Mmm hmm…"

"Good. So what else scared you?" he prompted.

"I couldn't see his face."

"Why?"

"He had his collar pulled up and he was wearing a black woolly hat. His car was black too, it even had black windows." She snuggled in even closer.

"**S-U-V**" Sue signed and Jack nodded.

"Well it's all over now JillyBean and you're safe with me." To his surprise she started to sob again, even harder than before.

"Sparky's gone… I lost him…"

"Oh, sweetheart, maybe you dropped him. I'll go and look in the morning."

"No, he's gone." Her little hand grabbed hold of his shirt and he could feel the dampness of her tears spreading through the material "…The men outside already looked. He's gone, just like Mommy. Don't ever leave me Daddy, please…"

"I won't, I promise…" Taking a deep breath, he swallowed over and over but couldn't stop a tear or two from escaping and when he looked across to Sue he could see that she was crying as well. His body tensed when he heard someone at the door but relaxed when he heard a familiar voice.

"Jack mate, it's only me. Just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

Sue looked at him quizzically, hastily wiping her eyes when he signed Bobby's name.

"The S.O.G guys said I should come straight in, I…" His sentence remained unfinished as he took in the sight in front of him. "What going on, Sparks?"

Putting a finger to his lips in warning, Jack turned to Sue. "Could you take her for me, please?" He tried to hand the little girl over but she clung to him even more tightly. "Never mind, I've got it," struggling to his feet, he carried her to his bedroom. Sue followed behind while Bobby stood staring after them.

Twenty minutes later he found his friend and colleague in the den, pouring out two large, stiff drinks.

"You look like you could use this, mate."

"Thanks," he practically fell onto the leather couch. "What's your excuse?"

"Just drinking to be sociable..."

"Right," Jack raised his glass in the Aussie's direction, frowning when he perched on the edge of the desk instead of sitting on one of the free seats.

"So, what's going on?"

"Nothing, just a problem with Jilly..."

"You'll need to do better than that."

"What are you doing here anyway?" he sighed as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Big Brother..."

"What?" There was an unmistakably irritated edge to his voice.

"Security… Surveillance tapes... Pulling your gun in the middle of the F.B.I. parking garage? Bit of an attention grabber that."

"Big Brother…"

"Yep, so what's going on?"

Jack quickly filled him in on the evening's events.

"Explains why I found the caretaker at Jilly's Day Care cowering in a corner."

His friend sat up suddenly. "Oh God, is he okay? I was so worried about Jilly I didn't even think he might… He's okay, right?"

"A bit shaken up but yeah, he's fine. I told him it was a misunderstanding and that you'd explain the next time you see him."

"Thanks, I'll do it tomorrow."

"I don't think so. You're not going anywhere tomorrow. You're staying home with Jilly."

"You know I can't do that."

"You can and you are, even if I have to get S.O.G to hold you here at gunpoint." His tone changed from determination to concern. "You need a break Jack, or you're going to find yourself back in the ER and if it happens again I'm not sure you'll… Look mate, you're worn out and you need to sleep and besides JillyBean's already lost one Sparky today, don't let her lose another."

"I'm…"

"Okay? I don't think so. Harvard and I can handle things at the office and I'll let you know if anything breaks…" There was a gentle tap on the door and he went to answer it.

"Sorry to interrupt but she's asking for you, Jack." Sue informed him apologetically.

He stood wearily and put his barely touched drink on the desk. "Coming, Crash I…"

"Just think about it, okay."

"Alright, alright, I'll think about it."

o-xxx-o

"How is she?" Sue asked when he walked back into the living room some time later.

"Asleep at last... And, in her own bed..." Flopping down into the nearest armchair, he let out a shuddering sigh.

"The Agent who picked her up, you didn't send him, did you?"

Shaking his head 'no', his eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "I forgot her," he confessed miserably. "I can't believe that I… What if..?" He buried his face in his hands and Sue crossed the room to kneel in front of him.

"She's here and she's safe. God was looking out for her, be thankful for that."

"Maybe the court was right and she doesn't belong with me. I couldn't even…"

"Jack," she took his hand in hers and held it. "Perhaps you should let her mother take care of her for a while, at least until all this is over."

"I can't."

"Can't or won't? Surely she'd be safer…"

"I can't," he repeated, his expression betraying his distress.

"Okay," letting go of his hand she stood up. "You should have something to eat and then try to sleep, you're exhausted." When she reached the glass partition she turned to face him again. "Do you think it was Tony?"

"I honestly don't know." He decided against telling her about the phone call, reckoning that he was hauling around enough guilt for the both of them.

o-xxx-o


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:** Apologies for the long delay between chapters and a belated Happy New Year to all readers/reviewers.

o-xxx-o

The anticipated nightmares had never materialised, probably because he'd fallen asleep the moment his head had touched the pillow, the adrenalin rush of earlier having given way to exhaustion. He had, however, been plagued by weird, almost surreal, dreams. One minute he'd be driving, the next walking and then running but the constant was the weight he'd seemed to be carrying on his back. It had come very close to crushing him but luckily at that point, he'd woken up or at least he thought he had. He was lying partly on his stomach and partly on his right side but the weight was still there, pressing him down onto the mattress. Cracking open first one eyelid and then the other, his mind immediately registered that the room was too bright, daylight filtering through the curtains instead of the usual faint glow of the dawn. He moved his head slightly so he could check the clock but that only added to his confusion – it wasn't where it should be and as he tried to roll over a squeal stopped him mid-turn.

"Daddy, you're squishing me."

"Sorry, sweetheart." He blinked several times to try and clear his head. "How long have you been there?" Moving more cautiously he started to push himself upright and then stopped, quickly checking under the covers to make sure he'd actually remembered to put on some pyjama bottoms when he went to bed and breathing a sigh of relief when he found he had.

"For ever, I fell asleep over and over."

He automatically looked for the time again. "I don't suppose you know what happened to my alarm clock?"

"Sue took it."

"What? Why, when?"

"She crept in last night, in the dark."

"How do you know that?"

"I saw her. She had a light in her hand and she took it."

"Sweetheart, I need to get up. I'm late for work." As he tried to flick back the duvet he noticed he was still wearing his watch, which clearly showed 10:37am. "Very late…"

"Don't go Daddy, please…"

"JillyBean, I have to…"

"Stay home with me today."

One look at her sad face and teary eyes stopped him in his tracks and he pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong?"

"Can we go and look for Sparky?"

"Jilly…"

"Pweease Daddy..?"

Jack shook his head and moved her to one side. "I'll tell you what. You go find Sue and Laura while I have a shower and dress. I'll talk to Uncle Bobby then I'll go and look."

"Can't I come?"

"I want you to stay safe and warm and snug in the house, okay?" He hugged her again. "Deal..?"

"Does that mean you're not going to work?"

"We'll see. Now, scoot..."

"Yes, sir…"

Several calls later he walked into the kitchen and when Sue looked in his direction he pinned her with an accusatory stare, although a small smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"Is something wrong?" she asked innocently but couldn't quite meet his eyes.

"I've just had an interesting talk with your co-conspirator."

"My, what..."

C-O C-O-N-S-P-I-R-A-T-O-R

"Oh... Please don't be angry, Bobby and I…"

"It's okay, he told me '**thank you**'."

She sighed in relief. "Feeling better?"

"Much."

"Then it was worth it. You must be hungry."

"I am but I need to speak to Steve and I promised Jilly I'd look for Sparky."

"Jack…"

"I know but I have to try."

"You'll need to wrap up warm, it's freezing out there."

"Will do..."

o-xxx-o

The moment he came back Jilly ran to greet him, her bottom lip quivering when she saw he was empty-handed.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I looked everywhere but…"

"Sparky's gone…" she sighed sadly, trying extra hard not to cry.

"I do have some good news," he scooped her up into his arms.

"What?"

"I know I'm not as cuddly as a teddy bear but I'm yours for the rest of the day."

"Really..?"

"Really... So, what would you like to do?"

The four of them spent the remainder of the morning and the afternoon like any normal, loving family… playing, sharing lunch, chatting and laughing and if Jack had to either answer or make a call, Sue would distract Jilly so she wouldn't feel neglected. Several times she'd caught him watching her and her curiosity finally got the better of her. "Jack?"

"Mmm…" he was slouched in a chair half-awake and half-asleep.

"I think you answered me. A penny for your thoughts..?"

"Sorry," pushing himself a little more upright, he gave her a soft smile. "I'm not sure they're worth that much."

"I think they are. You looked…" her cheeks flushed slightly. "I don't know… happy and sad at the same time."

"Just letting my imagination run away with me…"

"Anywhere, nice..?"

"Oh yeah…" he stretched contentedly but his smile faded. "Wishful thinking, I guess."

"Lisa?"

"No, not Lisa," his eyes met hers and their intensity left her in no doubt as to who his musings had been about. His cell broke the moment. "Hudson…" Getting to his feet, he apologised to her. "Sorry, I need to take this." Without any word of explanation he walked into the den and closed the door behind him.

o-xxx-o

Jack had been preoccupied at breakfast the following morning and Sue guessed it had something to do with the call he'd received the night before, although he hadn't shared any details with her. For most of the meal Jilly had been angling to get another day at home and in the end he'd agreed just to keep her quiet. He'd left for work earlier than normal carrying the mood with him and all day he'd been giving off an air of unapproachability that was obviously lost on Crash.

"Everything okay, Sparks?" He'd walked into the Supervisor's office without waiting for an invitation, much to his friend's annoyance.

"Fine," the response he received was curt and dismissive.

"Well for someone who idled yesterday away while the rest of us had our noses to the grindstone, you don't exactly seem to be full of the joys of spring."

"That's because it's winter."

"Here, maybe, but not in Australia."

"Is Tara in yet?"

"She's taking off her coat, as we speak."

"Thanks." Pushing back his chair he walked to the door, leaving the bewildered Aussie behind him.

o-xxx-o

"Jillian, that's enough… Could you please stop talking for five minutes and finish your dinner?"

"But Daddy, I was going to tell you about…"

Jack stood abruptly and picked up his half-eaten dessert along with his coffee. "I'll finish this in the den. I have some work to do."

"Daddy..!"

"Jilly honey, I think your Daddy's tired. Why don't you tell me instead?"

"He's always tired."

"I know but he did stay home to be with you yesterday, which means he probably had twice as much work to do today."

"I guess so."

"You know, Daddy works very, very hard to keep us, and all our friends, safe and if a bad guy gets away or something goes wrong then he gets upset because he thinks he's let everyone down and when that happens, he needs some time alone."

"How do you know?"

"…Because we worked together for a while, a long time ago."

"Did you get grumpy too?"

"Sometimes but I could do something your Daddy can't."

"What's that?"

"Close my eyes and stop listening."

Jilly immediately tried it. "I can still hear."

"Yes but you're not deaf and neither is your Daddy, so you both have to listen even when you don't want to."

"Like when he tells me to clean my room…"

"That's right. So, what did you want to tell him?"

Halfway through her story Jack came back into the room, slipping his arm into his coat and holding a package in his hand. "I have to go out. Could you put Jilly to bed for me?"

"Sure," she followed him into the hallway. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," he gave her an unconvincing smile, hesitating after he'd opened the door and turning to face her once more. "Sue…"

"Yes?"

"If I'm not back in a couple of hours, call Bobby."

"Jack, what's going on?"

"And take care of Jilly for me." The words were spoken softly and with an air of melancholy.

"You didn't need to ask…" As he held her gaze she searched his face for some kind of clue. It was one of the rare times in her life that she regretted not being able to hear. Raising his hand he stroked her cheek tenderly and walked away.

Sue watched until the taillights of his car disappeared, jumping when Steve loomed up beside her.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. You should go back in the warm."

"Do you know where he's going?"

"He didn't say, just asked me to keep an eye out while he's gone."

"When will he be back?"

"I don't know. Go inside please, it's much too bright out here with the lights on and make sure all the blinds are down and the doors and windows are locked."

"I will, good night."

"Night..."

She'd just closed the last of the drapes when Jilly tugged at her sleeve the way she'd seen Laura get her attention.

"Daddy didn't say goodbye."

"I know honey but he was in a hurry."

"He was wearing his gun."

"He's an F.B.I. Agent. He has to have it with him when he goes out."

"Not when we go shopping. Is something bad going to happen? Is that why he was so angry before?"

"Don't worry sweetie, Daddy will be okay. He's very good at his job and there will be lots of other Agents with him."

"Uncle Bobby?"

"Isn't he always" Sue hedged. "Now, why don't you go and get undressed so you're all tucked in when he comes home."

Tears started to trickle down her face. "I wish Sparky was here."

"So do I…" Sue whispered under her breath but she didn't mean Jilly's teddy bear. "Change of plan. Let's get Laura and we'll all snuggle down in my bed tonight. That way Daddy will have to wake us all up when he comes in." Jilly didn't look convinced. "…And we'll watch a DVD before we go to sleep."

"Can I choose what one?"

"Of course you can."

As she disappeared into her room Sue leaned back against the wall, closed her eyes and offered up a prayer. She'd remembered where she'd seen the look Jack had on his face before and it scared her. It was the same one he'd worn when he'd set himself up as bait for the sniper who had been terrorising the local neighbourhood and he'd almost been killed.

"Jack, come home safely, please. Jilly needs you. We all need you"

o-xxx-o


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** Another chapter for you as a thank you to everyone who reviewed.

o-xxx-o

This was a really terrible idea, he'd known it from the outset and if it had been anyone else's suggestion he would have been furious with them for even considering it. It went against everything he'd been taught at Quantico and experience told him it could only end badly but right now he wasn't thinking like an F.B.I. Agent, just a parent trying to protect a small, defenceless child… No, make that two defenceless children and a woman he cared about very much.

He'd taken a circuitous route into the city and at this moment he was parked under a street light, disabling both the LoJack on his car and the GPS tracking system. Sliding back behind the wheel, he removed the cell-phones from his pocket, switched them off and took out the batteries before consigning them to the glove-box. He leaned back in his seat for a few minutes to try and find some sort of inner calm, knowing that he needed to be at the top of his game, if anything went wrong he was well and truly on his own. For a split second he was tempted to call the whole thing off and return home but images of the four of them together in the playroom strengthened his resolve and he pulled into the traffic once more and headed towards the river, following the directions he'd been given.

Stopping in the lot of a dark and deserted industrial estate Jack took out a flashlight, playing it across the soulless buildings. It was cold and wet and the wind howling across the empty space seemed determined to keep him away from his destination. An icy blast down the back of his neck made him shiver so he took a moment to pull up his collar with unsteady fingers before continuing his search. Convinced he'd been led on a wild-goose chase, he was about to leave when the narrow beam reflected off the red sign he'd been told to look out for. He wasn't sure whether to be glad or sorry he'd found it but having come this far he had no intention of turning back.

Opening the passenger door, he picked up the small package from the seat and started what could in all probability have been his last journey on this earth, save one, and that didn't bear thinking about.

The appointed meeting place was an abandoned warehouse and as he entered he drew his weapon and disengaged the safeties before picking his way through the debris scattered over the floor and offering up a prayer of thanks as the moon came out from behind the clouds to filter in through the broken glass panes above, affording him just enough light to see by. Moving cautiously he scanned his perimeter for any signs of life and raised his gun when he spotted a shadowy figure above him on one of the criss-cross of metal walkways.

"Hey, I come in peace." The unmistakeable voice of Anthony Capono echoed off the walls.

"You'll forgive me if I don't believe that. Let me see your hands, now."

Tony laughed but did as he was asked. "Yeah, I'm carrying, I'd be a fool not to but I don't intend to use it, at least not today."

"Come down, slowly."

"I'm happy here, thanks. You want to talk, you come up."

Jack reckoned that he'd already done one foolish thing today and gotten away with it and he wasn't sure he should push his luck any further but if he'd wanted to, from where he stood, Capono could easily have shot him when he came through the door.

"Where..?"

"Ladder, to your right..."

Taking each rung steadily, he tried to hold down the feeling of dread that was welling up inside him but by the time he reached the top, he was in a cold sweat and breathing heavily.

"Bit out of shape there aren't you Hudson?" The smirk Jack loathed was plastered all over his face. "Spending too much time behind a desk these days?"

Annoyance flared in him but it was easier to let him believe he was right, than confess to the chronic fear of heights that had always plagued him. "How would you know that?"

"You looked the type. Got a bit of a limp there too, I see. They'll be putting you out to grass before you know it, not fit for purpose, and with nothing to show for all the years but aches, pains and a crap pension that won't even cover the hospital bills."

"Maybe, but at least _I'll_ be able to walk out with my head held high."

"Way over-rated in my opinion. I just do what I have to, to get by."

"And never mind who gets hurt?"

"Finish the job and move on. Regrets'll kill ya."

Jack's voice was deathly calm, betraying none of the emotions churning inside of him. "And what about those you leave behind, like Carina?"

"You know about her?" He shrugged. "Sabrina came to see you then? Carina was an accident. You know… heat of the moment and all that."

"And Sue and Laura..?" Despite his best efforts this time he couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice.

"Still carrying a torch for her, aren't you Jack?"

"What?"

"You think I didn't notice all those longing looks when you thought no one was watching? Pity the feeling wasn't mutual. I needed her for a case I was working on."

"So you married her?"

"I think you know by now that wasn't exactly on the level although if I hadn't already been married, it might have worked out. As for Laura, Sue always wanted kids and the 'family man' cover worked great for a while, so where was the harm?" His smug attitude was killing Jack and he wanted to hurt the man right back.

"What about your wife in California and four kids, is it?" The smirk disappeared and he knew he'd hit his mark.

"You've talked to them?"

"Not yet."

The man shook his head. "And you won't, you're too soft for that. The one thing I learned about you all those years ago… You'll go out of your way to avoid hurting innocent people. It's a weakness Jack, something we can't afford in our line of work. Me on the other hand…"

Something inside of Jack snapped and he grabbed the taller man by the lapels. "You, Capono..? You're scum and a disgrace to that badge you like to hide behind and someday soon it's all gonna to catch up to you and I just hope I'm there to see it."

"Never happen." In one sudden, forceful movement he brought up both arms and broke Jack's grip on him. "We make this exchange and I'm disappearing for good. I have a place staked out where no one's ever going to find me. What's with all the hostility anyway, this deal's good for both of us. You get all the information you need to take down a drug cartel, not to mention a list of rogue agents and come out of it with another gold star and I get what I want. We all live happily ever after."

"You threatened my family and scared the life out of a four-year-old girl and for that I could kill you myself."

Tony looked almost insulted. "I didn't threaten anyone, especially not a kid. You may not think much of me Hudson and I guess I can't blame you for that but I would never..."

"Then what do you call this?" Reaching into his pocket Jack took out a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to him.

"I didn't write this."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I didn't even know you had a daughter."

"And I suppose you don't drive a black SUV either…"

"A beat-up Mustang but I do have my heart set on a Ferrari," he grinned and then his face became serious again. "Look, if you don't want to take my word for it then ask Sue. This isn't my handwriting."

Jack just stared at him.

"But…" he studied the note more carefully using the small flashlight he'd produced from his pocket. "I think I know whose it is."

"Tell me!"

"Where's my laptop?"

The thought that they'd both been set up and Sue, Jilly and Laura were at home alone sent chills down his spine but he pushed it to the back of his mind. "What's on it that's so important you'd risk coming back to D.C.?"

"…Enough evidence to bring down most of the faces on the F.B.I.'s Christmas list."

"Then come in and we can…"

"You're still not getting it are you Jack? What I have is going to net me enough money to live in luxury for the rest of my life."

"You mean blackmail?"

"I prefer to think of it more as an insurance premium."

"And you're prepared to live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder?"

"It's a rush like no other. So, where is it?"

"We don't have it."

Capono's expression turned menacing and his eyes were as cold as ice. "You know something, I've played nice so far but I have friends who can hurt people in ways you can't possibly imagine and not give it a second thought and they don't give a damn about how old their target is or how long it takes..."

Jack's blood ran cold and he knew he'd lost. "This is a clone of the original hard-drive… It's the best I can do."

"How did you...?" He answered his own question. "Sue." He tried to take it but Jack wasn't letting go.

"I have your word? You'll stay away from Sue, Laura and Jilly?"

The taller man nodded and reached for the drive again but before he could take it the sound of a gunshot echoed around the empty building and he slumped against Jack, knocking him off-balance.

"Tony? Damn it!" As he tried to push him off so he could defend himself, there was a second shot and he felt the bullet slam home, the force knocking him backwards over the railing and sending him crashing down onto the rubbish below.

Acting on instinct, he tried desperately to get to his feet so he could scramble to safety but the fall had winded him and the pain from the shoulder wound and the other injuries he'd sustained hampered his movements. He could hear footsteps approaching and managed to turn just in time to see Richard D'Angelo standing over him, gun drawn. Everything began to blur until there was only one vision left in his head… that of a tearful child standing alone by a freshly dug grave, clutching a teddy bear. _I'm sorry_ _JillyBean_… _I'm so sorry_…

He saw the muzzle flash, his ears registered the shot and his world went black.

o-xxx-o


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N:** Gosh, so many reviews - thank you everyone. I love all the theories and comments so please keep them coming.

o-xxx-o

Knowing how prone the girls were to asking a million questions while watching a DVD, she had tried hard to concentrate but her thoughts strayed to Jack almost as often as her eyes did to the clock. Luckily, Laura had fallen asleep partway through the first movie but Jilly was fighting valiantly to stay awake until her daddy came home. How the little girl seemed to know something 'bad' was happening, she had no idea but her trepidation was contagious. Sue had run through the evening's events in her mind over and over and knew there was only one explanation for his absence… Jack had gone to meet Tony, alone.

Glancing at the children lying beside her as she sat fully-clothed on the bed, she was relieved to see that Jilly had finally lost the battle and as carefully as she could, she reached for the remote to turn off the TV and slowly got to her feet, sighing when she felt a tug on her hand.

"Daddy..?"

"No sweetie not yet, he said a couple of hours, remember." Bending down she covered her again. "You go back to sleep and I'll send him in as soon as he gets here."

"Promise..?"

"Cross my heart," she vowed, doing just that.

"'kay," her eyes closed almost immediately.

Dimming the lights, Sue slipped quietly from the room and, finding herself in need of some comfort, walked to the kitchen to make a mug of hot chocolate. Somehow tonight, the living room was way too big and lonely for one person, so she made her way to the den and was surprised and delighted to find the remnants of a log fire in a hearth she hadn't really noticed on the other occasions she'd been in there. Adding another log, she stirred it back into life and sat on the couch, tucking her legs up beside her and tentatively sipping her drink to test it before placing it on the side table to cool.

The firelight bathed the room in a warm orange glow, transforming it into a cosy nook and she could imagine him sitting or lying here in perfect peace as he relaxed after a fraught day. It was an idyllic image probably more suited to the Jack she'd once known than the one he was now. The fun-loving, energetic, never-a-dull-moment person who loved his job and nights out with the guys had all but disappeared, to be replaced by a sad, careworn and exhausted figure, plagued by nightmares and haunted by events that had unfolded after she'd left. He'd confessed to her one day that he'd missed her friendship and had needed her to talk to but he'd never explained why or what had happened to him in those intervening years or how Jilly had come to be.

The things he'd said when he'd left earlier, bothered her. He'd obviously been uncertain of the outcome of tonight's excursion which had annoyed her and left her a little shocked that he was prepared to risk everything, including possibly leaving his daughter fatherless, but now she'd had time to think it through, she understood his reasoning.

If, as she suspected, it had been Tony or more likely, one of his cohorts who had picked Jilly up from Day Care both scaring and hurting her, he could never be sure she'd ever be safe again, unless he dealt with the problem himself… And the package he'd been carrying had to have been the cloned hard-drive which meant that if he went through with whatever it was he'd planned, even if it worked, his career with the F.B.I. would be over and he'd probably go to prison.

She closed her eyes and tried to hold back the tears… It wasn't just Jilly he was doing this for but herself and Laura as well. This wasn't a new Jack this was the old one who was still willing to put everything on the line to protect the people he cared about the most, the people he loved, but in doing so he didn't seem to grasp that he was actually hurting them at the same time; leaving them behind to face the consequences of his actions. What would happen to Jilly if he never made it back? And how would she, herself, be able to live out the rest of her life knowing that it was her fault he'd been caught up in this situation in the first place? He had to come back, that was all there was to it. Too many people would be heartbroken if he didn't.

The minutes on the clock had turned to hours and it was just past eleven when she picked up her BlackBerry to call Bobby.

o-xxx-o

"What the hell was he thinking?" The Aussie railed as he paced around the living room.

"If you want me to answer you then you need to face me. I can't see what you're saying."

"**Sorry**,"Bobby flopped down into one of the armchairs. "You're sure he didn't say where he was going? Not even a hint?"

"Nothing," Sue shrugged.

"What _did_ he say? How did he seem?"

She'd answered the question several times already. "Just that he had to go out and if he wasn't back in two hours I was to call you. And he asked me to look after Jilly for him."

"That doesn't sound good."

She hadn't been sure how much to share with him, but he was Jack's friend as well as a work colleague and he was clearly upset. "He got a call on his cell about an hour before he left."

"What?" He sat up a little straighter as a glimmer of hope was reborn inside him. "Did he say who from?"

"No, but…"

Moving over to sit beside her, he gave her a hand a reassuring squeeze. "Sue, you need to tell me everything. Sparky's life may depend on it."

"I'm not sure, I..." She nibbled on her bottom lip nervously and then stared at the big man in confusion when he put his gun onto the coffee table along with his badge and covered them with the magazine she'd been trying to occupy herself with earlier.

"No F.B.I., no Special Agent Manning, just a bloke who's worried sick about his best mate. Nothing we say here will make it back to the Hoover Building, okay?"

"**O-K**"

"So let's see if we can piece this thing together."

They spent the next half-an-hour pooling their knowledge with Bobby telling her about the call from Tony and the note on Jack's windshield and Sue filling in the details of Jilly's abduction which, in the eyes of the law, it had been.

"I can't believe it was Tony."

"Sue…"

"I know, I know he's done a lot of bad things… but hurting a child?" She shook her head. "I don't believe it. Is there any way you can check to see if the hard-drive is still in the office?"

"Not without drawing too much attention. I don't know…" his cell rang. The call was brief and if anything he looked even more worried at the end of it. "They traced him to M Street and then he vanished. CCTV shows him tinkering under the hood. I'm guessing he disabled the tracking systems and there's nothing from his phones."

"Then there's no way we can find him."

"Sue, it's possible we never will."

"Jack…" His name was an anguished whisper as her eyes filled with tears.

A small voice had Bobby turning to the doorway and Sue's gaze followed.

"I heard talking. Is my Daddy home?"

"No sweetheart, not yet..."

"I thought he was with you Uncle Bobby." She rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Not tonight but…" Crossing the room he picked her up. "I'm sure he'll be here soon and, he'll expect to find you in dreamland."

"She's sleeping in my bed with Laura."

Bobby took her back himself to allow Sue some time alone and she thanked him when he returned.

"She's frightened."

"Aren't we all?" He muttered as he took up his original position in the armchair.

"I'm sure she'd be better off with her mother until all this is over but Jack won't listen."

"What did he say?"

"That there was no way she could go but I'm sure he's just being stubborn. I think whatever it is between him and Lisa is clouding his judgement and poor Jilly is suffering for it."

"You're wrong."

"You're his friend; it's only natural that you'd defend him but…"

"You're wrong," Bobby repeated. "I am his friend but you know me, I'm never backward in coming forwards when it comes to voicing my opinion. Jack's telling the truth, it's not that he won't let her go, he can't."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Can't or won't?" she teased.

"Won't… It's like you said, he's my mate and I'd never betray his trust."

"Okay," standing up, she stretched her back. "I'm going to check on the girls and then I'll make some fresh coffee."

"Sounds good..."

She'd just returned when Bobby took out his cell and as she watched the colour slowly drained from his face. When the call ended he picked up his badge and gun.

"Bobby..?"

He couldn't bring himself to look her in the eye and she knew something was very wrong.

"Bobby, please…"

With an effort he managed to get out the two words they'd both been dreading. "Jack's down."

Sue's knees almost gave way and she had to grab for something to support herself. "Is he..?"

There were tears in the normally tough Aussie's eyes. "I have to go. They're calling everyone in."

"You'll let me know as soon as you find out anything?"

He nodded. "I'll brief the S.O.G. guys when I leave. I wish I could tell you everything was going to be okay but…"

"I know. I'll be praying for both of you."

He walked to the door then turned to face her once more. "God Sue, what will we do if we've lost him?"

o-xxx-o


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N:** Thank you again for all your comments and guesses. Can we make it to 200 reviews? Fingers-crossed. And Barbara, I love it! A list of endless possibilities, just as it should be. (evil grin)

o-xxx-o

The weather had taken a turn for the worse, the temperature plummeting and changing the rain to sleet and, if anything, the wind was blowing even harder, making Bobby wish he'd put on something more than his leather jacket when he'd left home but that would only have served to keep the cold from the outside, not warm the chill which gripped him inside. The question he'd asked Sue before he'd left had been a rhetorical one but nevertheless, as he drove towards the city, it kept niggling at the back of his mind… What _would_ he do… apart from tearing Capono apart with his bare hands that was?

He could count his real friends on the fingers of one hand but none of them came anywhere near close to Jack. They'd known each other for years and faced all manner of problems and dangerous situations together. Knew each other inside and out... He was supposed to be rule-breaker, landing himself in all kinds of bother while Jack was the steadfast, sensible one who he could always rely on to keep him on the straight and narrow… Not that Sparky wasn't reckless once in a while himself… but when it happened, it was usually because he was trying to bail him out of something he'd gotten himself into, like the time he'd been suspended or when he'd fallen so deeply into debt with his gambling that his colleague had virtually given him the shirt off his back to get him out of trouble. No, Jack was a cut above the rest and if he was gone it would leave a gaping void in his life that could never be filled.

He'd been heading for the office to meet up with the rest of the team but suddenly, with a screech of tyres, he executed the ninety degree turn that would take him down to the river. He needed to see for himself what had happened and make sure nothing was overlooked but, more importantly, he wanted to make certain there was nothing left at the scene that could be misconstrued or incriminate Jack in any way.

As he pulled into the lot he saw that he'd arrived too late, the forensics teams were already at work, checking the car with help of the headlights from the other vehicles. A young MPD officer, who he didn't recognise, approached him as he got out.

"Sorry Sir you can't park here, this is a crime scene."

Bobby pulled his badge and showed it to him. "I'm aware of that. Any idea what went down here?"

"Not really Special Agent Manning, I've just been assigned to keep the sightseers away but I believe there was some kind of shoot-out, those guys will know more."

The Aussie shivered involuntarily, thanked him and walked to the nearest man wearing a CSI jacket, flashing his ID once more. Jack had been right about one thing, they really were both getting old. The entire team in front of him appeared to be fresh out of university while the Metro cop looked like his mom still tucked him in at night and when he was greeted as 'sir' for the second time it felt more like deference to his age than his status as an F.B.I Agent.

"Is it okay if I look inside?"

"Yeah, we're about finished, this belong to one of yours?"

Bobby nodded not trusting himself to speak.

"You're recruiting them young these days, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

The guy shone his light onto the child seat in the back.

"Off-duty... Well, as off as we ever get."

"The kid wasn't with him?" He asked in alarm.

"No, she's safe at home."

"Thank the Lord for that. Why would he be in this godforsaken place alone at this time of night?"

Bobby merely shrugged noncommittally.

"Well whatever his business was, if someone hadn't called it in, I dread to think how long it would have taken to find him."

"Why's that?" he hastily cleared his throat to cover his lack of sincerity in asking the question when he already knew the answer.

"GPS was on the fritz, looks like a loose connection, but I can't for the life of me figure out why they couldn't pick up the signal from the LoJack, it seems fine now."

"Did you say it was working?" The Aussie queried in surprise.

"Yep and his cell's in the glove compartment, switched off but fully-charged, yet we were told they couldn't pinpoint his location. Guess they must have been using rookies or something."

"Do you know who reported it?"

"Not my purview, sorry..."

With more questions than answers but knowing he wasn't going to find out what had happened to his friend by standing there prevaricating, he forced himself to turn his attention to the part he'd been dreading, repeating the question he'd asked earlier. "Any idea what went down here?"

"Sorry, we're just assigned to the outside, there's another crew dealing with the crime scene."

Bobby swallowed hard. "Where do I go?"

The man pointed a beam of light across the lot. "See the red sign, just round the corner there's a disused building, that's where you need to be."

"Thanks."

"Good luck."

He started towards his car to fetch his own flashlight but the CSI called him back.

"Agent Manning, you might want to see this." He'd been joined by another member of the team who handed something to him. "Your lot might have lost him but someone knew exactly where he was." He held up a small mystery object.

"What's that?"

"A miniature tracking device, state of the art, too... It was tucked under the wheel arch. We'll take it to the lab and see what we can find out."

"You'll let me know?"

"The guy who was driving… Was he a colleague of yours..?"

"A friend…"

The younger man nodded. "We'll let you know."

He'd been to many a crime scene over the years, some of which had looked like something out of a Tarantino movie, but this one… this was different. His legs felt like lead as he walked in the direction he'd been shown and when he turned the corner, he literally had to force himself not to turn tail and run. Standing in the entranceway was a black vehicle which was unmistakeably from the county morgue and as he drew closer, three more forensics people emerged carrying cameras and evidence bags.

Pushing himself forward, he was about to ask what they'd found when he heard the distinctive sound of metal wheels on concrete. He'd recognised the noise before the trolley came into view and virtually stopped breathing when he saw the black body-bag lying on it.

"Can I help you, Sir?" The question went unanswered so the attendant tried again, this time touching his arm to get his attention. "Is there something you need?"

Bobby sucked in the cold air to revive himself, then flashed his badge for a third time. "What..? What happened?"

"We don't have all the details yet I'm afraid. We'll know more when we get him back to base."

"You must have some idea."

"I'm sorry but we can't divulge that information."

The big man grabbed him by the collar and stared at him menacingly but he was rescued by a softly-spoken assistant coroner. "It's okay, I've got this. A gunshot wound to the head. Looks like a professional hit although I can't be sure. He didn't stand a chance, I'm afraid."

"Do you know who..?"

"He wasn't carrying any ID but from what they found in the car over there, we believe he's one of yours. Perhaps you could take a look, see if you recognise him. I should warn you though, it's not pretty."

"I've seen dead bodies before," the Aussie retorted angrily but it was borne out of fear not malice.

"Very well," he motioned for the two men to wheel him closer.

Bobby had been determined not to show any sign of weakness but as he reached for the zipper, his hand started to shake, making it impossible for him to grasp it. He tried several times but in the end the older man moved him to one side.

"I'll do it. It's freezing out here tonight, you should be wearing gloves. Cold fingers and toggles just don't mix. Ready..?"

The kind gesture wasn't lost on Bobby and with a curt nod, he braced himself for the worst but when the man pulled it down, he almost sobbed in relief.

"Agent Manning..?"

"His name's Anthony Capono from our San Diego Field Office."

"I take it that wasn't who you were expecting to see?" He addressed the two attendants. "You can leave now."

Rubbing his face with his hands, the tall Aussie sighed audibly. "Was he alone?"

"No, there was one other casualty, they took him to City."

"You did say casualty right, not fatality?"

"The paramedics were working on him in the back of the ambulance when I got here. He was alive then but he was drifting in and out."

"You know something mate, if you weren't a guy I could kiss you right now."

"Why let that, stop you?"

Bobby stared at him in stunned surprised.

"Kidding..! Go and find your friend. We still have work to do, and we're freezing our butts off standing out here. Oh by the way, I was kinda listening in on the investigator's conversation earlier, not intentionally you understand, and neither of your fellow Agents' guns had been fired. Just thought you'd want to know..."

"Thanks."

"I hope he makes it."

"Me too," Bobby concurred, looking Heavenward as he ran back to his car.

o-xxx-o


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N:** Wow! Thank you everyone, you've made my week!

o-xxx-o

He'd made it to the hospital in record time, even for him, but now he was stuck. The whole admissions area was packed to the rafters with anxious people either giving or waiting for information on friends or loved ones and, at the rate the line was moving, he'd be lucky if he got to the desk by Christmas. Bobby had never been sure how he felt about being as tall as he was, sometimes it could be a pain but tonight it was a blessing. Taking out his badge he held it up and, as he was head and shoulders above almost everyone else, he caught the attention of the woman in charge straight away and she beckoned him forward. Shoving and excusing his way through the horde, he studiously ignored the insults and complaints hurled in his direction as he finally reached his target.

"What do you need, Agent…" she scrutinized his ID. "Manning?"

"I'm looking for a colleague. He was brought in by ambulance about an hour or so ago."

"Name..?"

"Hudson… Special Agent, Jackson Hudson." He drummed his fingers on the edge of the counter impatiently, earning himself an annoyed tut. "Sorry, bad habit."

"Then break it," she suggested as she continued to scroll down the screen. "Trauma Unit. Down the corridor and…"

"I know where it is," he took off at a run only slowing down when he made it to his destination and zeroed in on the nearest nurse. "Jack Hudson?"

"And you are?"

"Sorry. Bobby Manning, F.B.I." He took out his badge yet again but this time he clipped it to his belt to save time.

"Observation Room Two but I think the medical team is still with him. You may have to wait."

"No problem."

The young woman stared after him, she'd never before met one Agent, let alone three in the same night. It would be something to tell her kid brother when she got home he was crazy about all things F.B.I. and hoped to join the Bureau one day.

Uncertain and a little afraid of what he might find, Bobby cautiously poked his head around the door. A nurse came to meet him, effectively blocking his view.

"Can I help you?"

Tired of introducing himself, the Aussie pointed to his shield. "Is it okay to come in?"

"Sure."

Stepping inside, he took a deep breath and then blew it out when he saw his friend lying in the bed propped up on pillows, his eyes closed, ribs and chest bandaged and his left arm in a sling. He was hooked up to an ECG, a piece of equipment he'd become very familiar with the last time Jack had been taken there.

"Sparky, mate, you keep this up and you're gonna kill me," he whispered quietly but the nurse picked up on it and led him back into the corridor.

"He's damn lucky to be alive. If he hadn't been wearing his vest you'd be looking for him in the morgue, and if something hadn't broken his fall… I've had a quick look through his notes and even a cat would seriously be considering upping their life insurance by now."

"How many lives does he have left?"

"I'd say he's just used up his sixth and seventh."

"Why the heart monitor?"

"Just a precaution given his past history but everything seems fine."

"Thank God. Can I see him… alone?"

"I guess that would be okay but apart from being black and blue all over, and I mean all over, and the damage to his left ribs and shoulder from the bullet impact, he also suffered a mild concussion, so he might be a bit woozy. If he feels sick or dizzy or his speech starts to slur, buzz for me immediately, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am…"

Pulling up a chair, Bobby sat at the bedside and looked his friend over. He'd wanted him to be awake so that he could read him the riot act for being so damned stupid but the nurse had been right. He could see the ugly bruises peeking out from the edge of the bandages, not to mention the contusions on his good arm and shoulder and God only knew what the rest of him looked like. His anger dissipated as quickly as it had arisen to be replaced by a wave of regret and sadness.

"Geez mate, what were you thinking? Why didn't you call?"

"If I had then both our careers would have been down the tubes. I couldn't let that happen." The words were spoken softly and Jack's eyes remained closed.

"You think that would have stopped me?"

"No, that's why I didn't call."

"What the hell happened? You know about Tony?"

"Yeah, I know." He sighed miserably. "I let my guard down. If I'd just…"

"Don't even go there, not again. This is Capono's fault not yours and he could have gotten you both killed."

"I went to try and make some sort of deal."

"With the hard drive..?"

"How did you..?"

"Sue figured it out."

Jack nodded and then winced. "We were both set up. There was someone else there."

"The Assistant Coroner said it had all the hallmarks of a professional hit, so how is it you're still breathing, mate?"

"You sound almost disappointed."

"Nah, grateful... Anything happens to you and I'm next in line for the bloody Supervisor's job."

Jack tried to laugh but it turned into a grimace. "When Tony was hit he fell against me and knocked me sideways. I guess that's why the second shot was off target."

"Kinda ironic that."

"What?"

"Tony's getting killed, saving your life"

"The impact knocked me backwards over the guardrail…"

"And you landed on that thick head of yours, lucky break."

"Thanks."

"What happened to the gunman?"

"I don't know." He closed his eyes again.

"And the hard drive?"

"I dropped it when I fell."

"Damn, if the Crime Scene guys find it, you're toast."

"They won't." A male voice from the doorway had Bobby jumping to his feet, knocking the chair across the floor and making Jack groan at the pain the noise had caused.

"You..! What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded prodding Special Agent D'Angelo in the chest as he used his larger build to back him into the corner.

"Bobby, let him go." The statement went unheeded so he tried a little louder. "Crash, he's on our side."

"Yeah, so was Tony."

"He saved my life tonight."

Still suspicious, the Aussie took a step back but made sure he was between him and the man in the bed. "And how do we know he isn't the mystery shooter? He could just be trying to cover his backside by saving yours."

D'Angelo immediately reached into his pocket for his own ID.

"Already seen it, you'll need to come up with something better than that."

"Not this one you haven't."

The patient spoke up again. "Agent Manning meet Agent Angelis from Homeland Security. He was assigned to be my shadow."

"What?" The big man slumped back down onto the chair he'd just vacated. "You knew about this?"

"Not until tonight."

Bobby's brain was fast playing catch-up. "So it was you who planted the tracking device on Sparky's car?"

"And reconnected the LoJack before anyone else arrived..." Jack added.

"That reminds me." Taking out a cell, Richard tossed it onto the bed. "Yours I believe. I confess, you had me stumped there for a while until I figured it out, made my job a whole lot more difficult, I might add."

"Sorry about that." Jack apologised half-heartedly.

"They told me you were good but not that good."

"Then _you_ texted me the night Jack here… erm…"

"Went missing?" Angelis grinned. "Yeah, that was me."

Bobby thanked him grudgingly. "So why the Mr 'Not-so-nice' guy act?"

"I had to stay outside of the team so I could come and go as I pleased and the best way seemed to be to make everyone dislike me."

"Well you certainly managed that."

"Crash…"

"Don't worry, I'll take it as a compliment… means I was doing my job properly."

Jack tried to find a more comfortable position, groaning loudly when his body protested.

"We should let you rest. This'll keep until you're feeling better."

"Bobby, I need to get out of here."

"I don't think that's such a hot idea, mate. They said you had a concussion."

"Mild concussion, aka, headache... I'm fine."

"Uh-huh. How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two."

"That was just a lucky guess..."

"I have to get back to Jilly."

"I don't..."

"Crash, please… She needs to know I'm okay."

"It's against my better judgement but I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks."

After he'd gone, Angelis made himself comfortable on the edge of the bed. "Cute kid you've got, smart too. I have a daughter about her age."

"You're married?"

"Divorced but I have custody."

"How the hell do you manage?"

"It's hard but I have the support of my family and two older children which is a blessing."

"You're lucky."

"How long have you been a single parent?"

"Nine months, two weeks and three, no four days..."

"That was precise. How…" Jack's expression darkened and he decided against finishing the question. "It can be tough but it has its rewards. I'll go and see how Manning's getting on."

"Was it you who picked her up from Day Care a couple of days ago?"

"No, I was on Capitol Hill briefing the Under Secretary for Homeland Security. Why was there a problem?"

"Nah, just curious" Jack lied. "So what happens now?"

"You get some rest and we regroup on Monday, if you're feeling up to it that is."

"I meant to me. I guess there'll have to be some sort of inquiry."

"Why, because you went to meet a fellow Agent and things went south?"

"I went alone to try and make a deal…"

"Which would have benefited the Bureau had it come off."

"I was out of contact…"

"Your GPS was on the blink and for some reason they couldn't trace the signal from your LoJack – not your fault…"

"And my cell..?"

"…Was working fine when the CSIs found it. The only problem I see is the hard drive."

"It was a copy of a copy. As soon as he tried to access the encrypted section, he would have unleashed a virus which was created to wipe the entire contents."

"Aah, the brilliant and resourceful Tara Abbott," he sighed wistfully. "Pity she's spoken for, she's kind of cute."

"So..?"

"Capono's out of the picture and we still have the only viable, cloned drive. I would say that particular part of the investigation is over. Look, Jack, you may have acted erm… rashly and broken all the rules but you're still one of the best Agents we have. If we busted everyone who, shall we say, thought outside the box then we'd have no one left in the Bureau but blue-flamers and empty suits. We need people like you, just don't stray too often, okay. Next time, you may not get someone who's quite so, understanding."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," he stood to leave. "One thing… Watch out for Pinter, he really doesn't like you."

"I figured that. Any idea why..."

"He takes his job very seriously and he sees you as a security risk. Young child who appears out of nowhere with none of the mother's details on file, equals instant red flag in O.P.R.'s book."

Jack nodded and winced again.

"Oh, and you might want to keep the head movements to a minimum, if you plan on leaving here any time soon."

o-xxx-o


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N:** Apologies for the long delay between posts, sadly writing is just a pleasurable pastime and other things sometimes have to take precedence :-( To make amends, this chapter is longer than usual. Hope you're all still out there! Enjoy.

o-xxx-o

In spite of his protests, Jack had been forced to remain in the hospital until just before lunchtime the next day and the only reason he'd been discharged then was because it was a Saturday and he'd be able to rest. He would never have admitted it but he'd been grateful for their insistence as, midway through the night, he'd felt truly awful. He'd been sick and the room had been jumping in and out of focus but after a slew of scans and tests, they'd assured him everything was fine and that it was probably the shock catching up to him. They'd dosed him up with painkillers and something to help him sleep and he'd made it through to the morning without a hitch. Now, as he waited for Bobby to pick him up, he actually felt a little better, the wooziness had gone but he hurt all over and his head still throbbed at the slightest movement.

"Good afternoon, Sparky. How are you feeling?"

Jack merely scowled and he had his answer.

"That bad, huh… Ready to go home..?"

"Have been for hours"

"Rightie-o, just a tick," the big man disappeared into the corridor and returned moments later with a wheelchair.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"You've been in here often enough lately to know the rules, mate."

Muttering something unintelligible, he tried to stand but finished up back on the bed.

"You need a hand?" Bobby asked worriedly.

"I've got it."

"If you say so..."

Bracing himself against the pain, Jack stood a little slower this time and managed to stay upright long enough to make it into the chair.

"I called ahead and filled Sue in but as far as Jilly's concerned you just tripped and hurt yourself."

"Thanks. Did you tell her about Tony?"

"Nah, I would have if she'd asked but she didn't. You know what I'm like… always go about these things the wrong way. Bull in a china shop, that's me."

"Crash, I don't think there is a _right_ way…"

"True but then there are the tears and if she started I'd be blubbing right along with her. You're much better at that stuff than I am, I'm sure you'll manage. Ready?"

"Why is it that staying here another night suddenly feels like a whole lot better option than going home?"

o-xxx-o

After receiving a text to say they were on their way, Sue had been stealing glances out of the window almost continuously while trying to calm down an over-excited Jilly. Thankfully, Laura was still too young to really understand what was going on.

The car pulled up outside and she watched, nibbling on her bottom lip and fighting back tears as Bobby helped his friend to stand. When he was on his feet, Jack signalled that he needed a minute and rested against the door to get his breath back before nodding to let them know he was ready to move. Just like the Aussie, she'd wanted to be angry with him and tell him off in no uncertain terms for his stupidity but seeing the pain lacing his expression with every step, it all melted away.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks." He was leaning heavily on the taller man while the other, who she didn't recognise, hovered behind holding his coat. However, as soon as he heard Jilly's voice he shrugged them both off and forced himself to stand unaided.

"Daddy!" she fairly launched herself in his direction but at the last second Bobby grabbed hold of her.

"Whoa, steady on JillyBean, you don't want Daddy back in the hospital, do you?"

"No," she looked him over sadly taking in the marks on his face and the sling on his arm. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay sweetheart." Lowering himself slowly to his knees, Jack held out his good arm. "You gonna give me a hug?"

She hesitated, frowning and shuffling from foot to foot. "Are you sure it's alright?"

"I'm sure, just don't squeeze too tight."

"'kay," taking a step forward she reached out and traced the outline of one of the bruises on his cheek with a feather-light touch and then threw her arms around his neck, burying her head in his shoulder. Jack stroked her hair tenderly.

"It's alright baby, I'm okay." He tried to reassure her but after a few minutes he looked to Sue pleadingly and made the sign for help.

"Jilly honey, do you think you could check on Laura for me?"

"I…"

"You can come back and see Daddy when he's in bed and all comfy."

She let him go reluctantly. "Promise..?"

"**Promise**"

"'kay."

When she'd gone Jack signed a '**thank you**' and struggled to his feet with a lot of help from his two colleagues. Angelis' cell went off and he walked away to answer it, motioning for Bobby to join him. While they were talking Sue managed to catch his eye.

"**T-O-N-Y**"

Jack shook his head sadly. "**Sorry**."

Her bottom lip quivered. "**D-I-D you**..?"

He shook his head again, "**No**, **T-R-A-P**."

Nodding, she turned away and disappeared into her room leaving him staring worriedly after her. Angelis' voice broke the silence making him jump.

"I have to go, my kids are getting impatient."

Jack held out his hand. "Thank you again, for everything."

The other man shrugged. "All part of the service."

"Could you give me a minute to get Sparky here settled and I'll come with."

"Sure, I'll wait in the car. Perhaps on the way back you can tell me how the Sparky and Crash thing came about."

"Least I can do. Come on mate, let's get you all tucked in."

Jack growled his displeasure at being treated like a child but allowed his friend to help him.

o-xxx-o

He'd hoped that after the house had quietened down Sue would come in to talk but he hadn't seen her since he'd got back and he wondered now if she blamed him for what had happened to Tony. Jilly had spent most of the afternoon with him, insisting on telling him stories just as he did when she was sick. In all honesty they had been entertaining but he'd fallen asleep once or twice only to find her sitting patiently beside him with one of her colouring books whenever he'd woken up. There had been many times during his stay in the hospital when he'd wondered if he'd done the right thing but just looking at her smiling face he knew he had. Keeping her safe was definitely worth all the pain and discomfort he was suffering, his only regret was Tony. The man had been arrogant, uncaring and a traitor but he hadn't deserved to die for it and what of his family back in California? He made a silent vow to himself that, as soon as he was able, he'd set up his own task force to find out who the mystery gunman was and track him down. Of course, if Bobby was right and it had been a professional hit, he didn't stand much of a chance but he had to try. He'd just made up his mind to drag himself out of bed and go to find her when there was a tap on the door.

"Come in." Shaking his head he chuckled to himself, he knew who it was yet his response had been automatic. Taking a breath he waited for her to poke her head around the door. "I'm decent."

"I hope I didn't wake you up."

"No," he fidgeted, stretched and groaned, "can't settle. If I lie down something hurts and if I sit up I can't get comfortable enough to sleep. Vicious circle…"

"Have you taken anything?"

"Not for another ten minutes."

"Oh," she gave him a sympathetic yet sad smile. "Do you have any spare pillows?"

"There should be some in the chest at the bottom of the bed."

"Here?"

He nodded.

"Can you sit forward?"

"I can try," he smiled and then winced. "How's that..?"

"Good." She rearranged all the pillows and cushions to create a sort of armchair effect in the middle of the bed and then helped him to lean back. "Better?"

"Much, thank you."

"**Welcome.**"

** "**Sue," he took hold of her arm but she moved it away.

"I'll get you some water."

She returned a few minutes later and waited while he swallowed down the painkillers, then took the glass from him and walked to the door. "You should try to sleep. **Good night**."

"**Good night**." Sighing miserably, he settled himself a little more comfortably and closed his eyes. It was obvious that, despite everything he'd done, she still cared for Tony and she did blame him for what had happened. The pills were beginning to take hold and he didn't have the strength or inclination to fight the fatigue that was encompassing him. Reaching over to the lamp, he touched it to turn it off and let the darkness take him.

o-xxx-o

He woke late, the bedcovers in a tangle and his body bathed in sweat, the remnants of his dreams already becoming a distant memory. Carefully easing himself into a sitting position, he was relieved to find that his head had ceased to throb when he moved and the pain had subsided to a dull ache, apart from his upper left chest and shoulder that was. Sliding out from under the covers, he walked into the bathroom to take a shower in the hope that the hot water would help ease some of the stiffness in his battered body, and prepare him for what was bound to be a difficult day. After towel-drying his hair as best he could, struggling into a pair of jeans and slipping on a sweatshirt, he felt a little better and decided to forego the sling for his arm; something he was later to regret.

He found Sue in the kitchen cleaning out the refrigerator, the laundry already in the machine and on spin. He watched patiently, waiting for her to turn and when she did, he could see that he wasn't the only one who'd had a rough night. She looked pale and tired and he was pretty sure she'd been crying at some point but she still managed to muster a soft smile of greeting. A wave of guilt washed over him at his selfishness in leaving her to look after both the girls all morning while he'd lounged in bed.

"You don't need to do that."

She shrugged. "It keeps me busy."

Pulling out a chair he sat down. "I'm sorry. I should have got up earlier."

"That's okay. How are you feeling?"

"Sore. I'll survive. How about you? Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not much."

"If you want to rest now, I'll keep an eye on the kids."

"No, but thanks... Like I said, I'd rather keep busy."

"Well, if you change your mind just… What the hell!" He shot up out of his seat, flinching at the sudden movement.

"Jack?" She stared at him in alarm.

"Playroom," taking off at a run with Sue at his heels, he stopped dead in the doorway staring at the sight in front of him. Laura was sitting on the floor crying her heart out while Jilly stood over her, scolding her soundly.

"Jillian, that's enough! Come here, now!"

The girl stood her ground defiantly as Sue picked up her daughter, cradling her in her arms and rubbing her back soothingly.

"I said come here!" Afraid of what might have happened Jack's voice had risen; its timbre as hard as steel but it only served to make matters a whole lot worse.

"No! It was her fault, not mine. She shouldn't have touched it."

Taking a few calming breaths he turned to Sue and Laura, his face white. "Please tell me she's okay."

Sue checked her over. "I think so."

"Thank God." He refocussed his attention on his unrepentant child. "Did you hurt her?"

"She shouldn't have touched it. It's mine!" Angry tears were spilling down her flushed cheeks.

"What is?"

"That."

He looked in the direction she was pointing and saw a small jewellery box on the floor. "Okay, why was it in here in the first place?"

"I wanted to look at it."

"And how did Laura get hold of it?"

"I put it down and she took it! It's mine not hers."

Jack kept his tone even as he tried to reason with her and calm her down. "Then you should have kept it in your room."

"This is my room too. It's _my_ playroom and you're _my_ daddy!"

Sighing resignedly Jack closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that this was only ever going to end one way. "Jillian, come here please."

"Shan't… It's not fair! Punish her, not me."

"Come here." It was said quietly but Sue could tell by his expression that he was close to the end of his tether.

"No and you can't make me!"

"Last chance…"

"No!" She tried to run past him but he caught hold of her, dropping to his knees and enfolding her in his arms.

"I need you to calm down."

Still angry Jilly struggled to get away, hitting him with her fists and kicking out but he just pulled her tighter against him, holding her fast as he spoke to her softly.

He'd turned slightly so Sue couldn't see his lips but whatever he was saying, didn't seem to be having any effect. She'd seen plenty of tantrums before, usually from Bobby, the youngest of her brothers, but she'd never imagined that this normally placid child could have such a terrible temper.

"I'm not letting you go until you calm down." His lips were back in her line of sight.

"Let me go!"

"JillyBean, please…" She continued the fight but the next thing he said stopped her cold. "You're hurting me sweetheart, I need you to stop." He held her for a few moments longer but when it was clear his words and tone had gotten through, he let go. "Thank you."

She stood in front of him, eyes wide as saucers and all her anger gone although tears were still pouring down her cheeks and then she ran to her room, shutting the door behind her.

Jack struggled to his feet wearily, apologised and left.

o-xxx-o

Cautiously opening the bedroom door, Sue checked to see if he was okay. Propped up against the pillows his eyes were closed but he spoke when he heard her come in.

"I'm not asleep."

He swung his feet onto the floor, sitting in the same position she'd found him in after his nightmare. His head was bowed but she could still see his lips in the mirror. Sitting beside him, she stroked his back comfortingly and handed him the jewellery box.

Taking it from her, he ran his thumb almost reverently over the highly polished wood, tracing the raised lines of the butterfly's wings and flower petals which decorated the lid. "My father carved this for my mother. He finished it just before he died and she gave it to Jilly… She told her to take great care of it because it was very precious. A gift of love, she called it." He swallowed several times.

"It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is." Caressing it once more, he put it carefully on his bedside table. "I am so sorry about what happened earlier."

"She has quite a temper for a little girl."

"A gift from her mother," he sighed.

"Does it happen often?"

"No, thank God and never usually that bad."

"But you seem to know how to handle it."

"Lots of practice…"

"I thought you said…" she looked at him in confusion and he picked it up in her reflection.

"Lisa was the same at her age… No, scratch that… She was a whole lot worse and I have the scars to prove it. The smallest thing could set her off but thankfully she grew out of it, well mostly. I'm hoping it will be the same with Jilly… Preferably _before_ she goes to pre-school in September."

"There's nothing physically wrong?"

"Not that they could find. She's just been through so much, too much…" he shook his head sadly. "Is Laura alright? Jilly didn't hurt her?"

"No. She took Piglet away and hid him. Laura's never had many presents. She really loves that toy."

Finally, he turned to face her. "I'll go and talk to Jilly."

"You should leave it for a while, give her time to calm down and think about what she did."

"I'm not sure…"

"Anyway, you can't go and see her looking like that. We need to clean you up first."

"Excuse me?"

Sue pointed to his reflection in the mirror and for the first time he noticed the red stain on his white top.

"She really did hurt you, didn't she?"

"I didn't realise. I knew I felt something, but… I'll change and check it out later."

"No, now..."

"Sue, I…"

She interrupted him. "Don't be such a baby."

"It wasn't me I was thinking of. I promise it's not as bad as you're imagining." He tried to remove the blood-stained clothing but winced as he raised his arm.

"Let me." Getting to her feet she pulled it carefully over his head, gasping when she saw the myriad of bruises, cuts and scrapes. "You're right, it's ten times worse."

Her eyes filled with tears and she sniffled as she knelt in front of him to inspect the bloodied area. There was a deep three-inch gash which had been stitched together. "Some of these have been pulled. You might have to have them redone."

"Great."

"Do you have a first-aid kit?"

"On the floor in the bathroom, next to the wash basin..."

Carrying the case back with her she rummaged around until she found what she was looking for. "Butterfly plasters, or that's what my Mom used to call them. The stitches seem to be intact so I'll clean up the blood and use these to hold it. You'll need to be careful until you can get it seen to properly."

She tried to be as gentle as possible but he winced when she dabbed on the antiseptic.

"**Sorry**."

"That's okay."

"I'm going to have to pinch the two sides of the wound together, I'm afraid it's going to hurt."

Jack took a deep breath or two. "Go for it."

When she'd finished she rifled through the contents again and pulled out a largish dressing which she fastened in place with some surgical tape. Leaning back to look over her handiwork, she stared at the massive bruise that encompassed his left upper chest and shoulder. "Oh, Jack…" Her eyes filled again.

"It's where the bullet hit my vest. Most people think the Kevlar stops it dead, you know like in the movies, but it doesn't, it just spreads the impact."

"Thank God, you were wearing it." Afraid she was going to cry, she looked away. "Where are the other bandages?"

"I took them off when I had a shower this morning and couldn't replace them."

"You should have said something."

"I wasn't sure if… I mean, I didn't know if you'd even want to talk to me after…"

"It wasn't your fault. Where are they?"

"Top drawer of the dresser... Sue you don't have to do this, I'll ask Crash when he picks me up in the morning."

"You're not going into work." She looked at him aghast.

"I have an appointment with the Bureau's medics."

"Oh," she stood with the roll in her hand, "chest and shoulder?"

"Uh-huh."

In the end she found it easier to kneel behind him on the bed and watch what she was doing in the mirror, her face a picture of concentration as she looped them around his muscular torso. Every once in a while her cool fingers would brush his bare skin almost like a caress and he found it impossible to suppress the shiver that went through him. It had been so long since he'd been touched by a woman, too long he realised now, and the feelings and needs that had been forcibly buried a long time ago, had begun to fight their way to the surface, making him hurt on the inside as much as he did outside.

Looking up from her task their eyes met and she immediately recognised the expression on his face. She'd seen it twice before, the first time in the bullpen when she'd massaged his shoulder and neck and the second, during their first undercover when he'd held her to stop her from falling. She'd been uncertain, embarrassed and way out of her depth back then but now…

She returned his gaze without the slightest hesitation, smiling softly, but it faded when she recognised so much more in those expressive brown eyes. His guard was down completely and she could see the sadness, pain and longing in their dark depths. Slowly raising her right hand, she brushed the back of it down his cheek and across his mouth, her tears threatening once more when she felt the faintest pressure from his lips. He used the hand of his good arm to take hold of hers, pressing it against his face and then she felt him blow out a shaky breath and the moment was over… his defences firmly back in place.

"All done..?"

Sue nodded not trusting herself to speak.

"**Thank you**."

"**Welcome**."

Running a hand over his nose, mouth and chin, Jack sniffled. "I need to get a clean top."

"And put your arm back in the sling."

"Yes mom."

o-xxx-o


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: Thank you again to all my kind readers/reviewers. This story is fast approaching the end, only two, or possibly three, chapters to go. Enjoy!

o-xxx-o

The day had been an ordeal and Jack was grateful when he could crawl into bed, lying quietly as he waited for his meds to take hold and make him comfortable enough to rest. Jilly had been asleep when he'd gone to talk to her the first time, so he'd decided to wait until after dinner. The conversation at the table had been non-existent and no one had really touched their food as they were all lost in their own thoughts.

Jilly had disappeared as soon as she'd been excused and when she'd returned she'd walked over to Sue and Laura to apologise, her eyes filled with tears as she'd handed back Piglet. She'd sat beside him on the couch for the rest of the evening, snuggled into his side and every so often she'd start to cry and he'd held her close, stroking her hair until she'd finally quietened down. When he'd put her to bed, she'd told him she was sorry and obviously expected some sort of punishment but he hadn't had the heart to set any. He'd just told her that whenever she got angry, she should remember what had happened today and how easy it was to hurt someone without meaning to. It was clear that seeing the blood on his sweatshirt had scared her, a lot, and she'd promised she would and what's more, he'd believed she'd meant it.

Once the children were both asleep, he'd spent some time alone in the den, just staring into the fire and wishing he was somewhere else, away from all the grief and pain, and his mind had strayed to a meadow in Wisconsin where he always used to go when he needed to be alone. He'd lay in the long grass, completely hidden from view, the silence only broken by the odd bee, busily doing whatever bees did. A tap on the door had brought him back to the present and he'd found himself resenting the intrusion. He could easily have pretended to be sleeping so that she'd go away but instead he got to his feet and opened the door.

She'd asked what had happened that night and he'd told her about the warehouse and the gunman but she'd wanted more… What Tony had said; how he'd seemed… Reluctantly, he'd told her everything, his heart almost breaking because talking about it was hurting him as much as he was hurting her. She'd thanked him and got up to leave but she'd been so close to tears that he'd pulled her down beside him and she'd cried into his chest, just as Jilly had earlier, and left him feeling like an overused Kleenex that had been wrung out once too often. Eventually she'd got up silently and left him alone with his thoughts… melancholy thoughts that had taken him to places he'd never wanted to revisit.

The pills were finally doing their job so he slid a little further under the covers, careful not to overstretch the damaged stitches. Bobby would be picking him up around 10:30 for his medical, so at least he'd be able to have a bit of a lie-in in the morning, or so he'd hoped.

In his dream he was back inside the cold, damp warehouse, lying on the unforgiving concrete floor amongst the old packing crates and cardboard boxes that had mercifully broken his fall. Dizzy and disorientated, he was desperately trying to hang on to the last vestiges of consciousness as D'Angelo stood guard above him, his weapon drawn and ready to fire at any visible threat. He could hear sirens in the background and a shrill, bell-like sound that seemed out of place somehow. Clawing his way back to wakefulness, his ears finally registered that the phone beside him was ringing and he groped for the receiver, checking the clock to see that it was only 8:15am.

"Hudson."

"Morning Sparky, did I wake you up?"

"What do you think?"

"Sorry, but I thought you ought to know… Everything's gone…"

Jack struggled to sit up. "What everything?"

"Everything... Conference Room 3 has been cleaned out. In fact, you'd never guess that anyone had been using it. The board's gone, all the photos, notes… the lot."

"What about..?"

"The hard drive..? That's missing too…"

"Have you tried contacting D'Angelo?"

"You mean Angelis?"

"Same difference…"

"Unavailable…"

Jack's mind was fast playing catch-up. "Are you in the bullpen?"

"No, your office..."

"Okay, well I guess that's that then. Case closed."

"You're kidding right? We still have to find out who killed Tony and almost killed you and then there's…"

"It's over Crash, okay? Now let me get back to sleep and I'll see you later."

There was an edge to Bobby's voice when he replied. "Whatever you say mate, you're the boss. I just thought you'd…"

"Bye…" He hung up, not wanting to prolong the conversation.

o-xxx-o

It was a disgruntled and rather out-of-sorts Aussie who let himself into the house a little over two hours later and the first person he saw was Jilly as she skipped across the hall and into the living room.

"Hi dahlin' is your dad about?"

"He's having breakfast."

"Thanks and why are you so happy this morning?"

"I don't have to go to Day Care. I get to stay home and play."

He gave her a cheeky wink. "Sounds like a good enough reason to me."

He strode purposefully into the kitchen determined to find out why his friend had been so off-hand earlier. "Good morning, Sue."

"Bobby, hi, can I get you something to eat?"

"No… thanks… Coffee would be good though." Sitting on the nearest seat he stared at Jack accusingly. "So, what was this morning all about? You can't be serious about letting the whole thing drop."

Jack signalled to him to wait and when Sue had finished pouring the coffee he touched her arm to get her attention. "Do you think you could take Laura and Jilly to the playroom and keep an eye on them please?"

She looked from one man to the other. "Sure."

"**Thank you**. Tell her I'll come and say goodbye before I leave."

After they'd gone he folded his serviette and took a quick drink of juice.

"Come on Sparks, what gives?"

"You said you were calling from my office?"

"That's right."

"What phone?"

"You don't think I'd be stupid enough to use the landline, do you? It was the prepaid cell."

"That's what I thought."

"Am I missing something here?"

"Don't you remember? When we were in the hospital, Angelis had my prepaid in his pocket which means he probably took down the number."

"And if he checked the contacts then he'd have mine too. Got'ya."

"And, Sue's..."

"Geez and there I was just beginning to believe he was on our side."

"He was but not on our team."

"So, what now..?"

"We check with the others to see what's left that might help us."

"In my case not much, I still have all the bank records not that they're going to be of any use. How about you..?"

"Just the notes I made on my laptop and this," he handed him the piece of paper he'd found on his windshield.

"Not very impressive, is it? I'll call Harvard and Tara, Ramirez is already on his way back to California." He took out his cell but Jack stopped him. "Sorry mate, I forgot. Let's get you to that appointment and I'll speak to them in person."

"Have my office swept for bugs first and CR1, we'll use that. I'll get my coat and say goodbye to the girls."

They kept the chat in the car general, neither of them sure if they were being monitored and forty-five minutes later Bobby pulled into the lot of the Medical Facility.

"You want me to wait?"

"No, that's okay. I don't know how long I'll be."

Bobby frowned. "I thought they were just giving you the once-over or is there something you're not telling me?"

"I pulled some of the stitches and they may have to be redone," he confessed miserably.

"What did you do, turn over in bed too fast?"

"Very funny... Actually it was Jilly."

"How would…" he stopped, reading his friend's face. "Oh no, what triggered it this time?"

Jack shook his head, not wanting to go into details. "Who, knows."

"Any casualties apart from you, that is?"

"She scared Laura half to death."

"Poor kid... You sure you don't want me to come with?"

"No, I'm good. Go back and organise those cleaning crews, I'll grab a cab when I'm done."

"Will do… Good luck, mate." The grin on his face belied his sympathetic words.

"Thanks."

o-xxx-o

"I know, it's nothing like the guy we've all come to know and love but I had it more-or-less confirmed from three different sources, so I guess qualifies as more than just office gossip." Tara looked towards the door when she heard it open. "Bobby's just arrived so I'd better go. You have my Chicago address and my number? Good, then don't be a stranger. Write me when you get settled. Will do… Bye Sue, love to Laura…" Hanging up, she turned her attention to the Aussie.

"How's Jack?"

"Okay considering. He'll be dropping by later so you can see for yourself." As he spoke he picked up a pencil and quickly found a sheet of paper. "So who's nothing like the guy you know and love?"

"Just girl talk…" she hedged looking a little flustered.

"Uh-huh." Scribbling something down, he handed it to her.

_Don't say anything, not sure if we're still being monitored. Do you have anything left from the case?_

_ A few notes and some photographs on a memory stick._

_ I need them._

"So, it sounds as though you're getting ready to go home?"

"Yep, had my marching orders first thing, flight leaves in two-and-a-half hours."

"Bet Stan the Man will be glad to have you back."

"I should hope so."

There was a tap on the door as the team arrived to sweep the room.

"I'll go and pick up my stuff."

o-xxx-o

The bullpen was as quiet as the grave. With barely any Agents left in their section and their major cases having been disseminated among the other teams, all that was left was paperwork and more paperwork, still hopefully that would mean everything would be wrapped up by Christmas. Idly scrolling through the case notes on his computer, Bobby jumped when he heard his name.

"Crash, my office…"

"What's up mate, you don't look happy?"

Jack held up a finger. "Did you do what I asked?"

"Yep and they removed a bugging device from the underside of your desk. There's one in the phone but we left that in case they got suspicious. So, how did it go?"

"I'm grounded."

"Well that shouldn't have come as a surprise. How long, a week? Two?"

"Until further notice..."

"Something you forgot to mention?" Bobby sounded almost angry.

"Excuse me?"

"You said you were okay."

"I am, apart from aches, pains, fresh stitches…"

"Being stressed out and generally knackered... So, what happened?"

"O.P.R."

"What?"

The medic who was treating me said I was doing fine and then he was mysteriously called away. Came back with some rubbish about not liking what he was seeing, although he wouldn't be specific and that I was officially on sick leave from today. They'd be making another appointment for me some time in the new year."

"What makes you think O.P.R.'s involved?"

"I had a quick chat with the receptionist…"

"Ah, the old, Hudson charm."

"She said there was a call from a Vincent Pinter although she didn't know who he was."

"Geez mate, that guy really _doesn't_ like you, does he?"

"What gave you that idea?" Leaning back in his chair, he stretched gingerly. "So, where is everyone?"

"Like I said this morning, Ramirez is gone and Tara's on her way to the airport."

"Damn, I wanted to thank her for her help."

"She said she'd call. Left us what she had, which wasn't much."

"And, Myles..?"

Bobby shrugged, "No idea."

"Is CR1 clear?"

"Yep, all done."

"Then let's adjourn there and ask Elise to track him down."

"Shouldn't you be on your way home?"

"Let's see what we have first."

"Rightie-o."

o-xxx-o

"You called." The Bostonian agent entered the conference room about twenty minutes after them, straightening his tie and running his fingers through his hair, making it worse than it already was.

"Did we interrupt something?" Bobby smirked.

"Nothing that won't keep," he looked Jack up and down. "My, aren't we all the colours of the rainbow this afternoon."

"No changing the subject, Harvard."

"I was merely catching up with an old acquaintance."

"Is that what they call it?" Jack winced as he sat down.

"Ah the aftermath of taking a bullet to the vest, I remember it well and how little sympathy I got, unlike some."

"Yeah, well you didn't take a header off the equivalent of a two-storey building afterwards." Bobby retorted.

"No, nor did I land in a garbage pile."

"They were packing crates." Jack corrected defensively.

"True but unwanted and therefore technically still garbage. What can I do for you?"

"We're trying to decide if we have enough evidence left to go on with this case."

"I thought it was done? Capono's definitely out of the picture and as for the rest, surely that's Homeland Security's purview?"

"What about the guy who tried to kill Sparks?"

"I thought it was a professional hit."

"It would be nice to confirm that." Jack snapped in annoyance. "I don't think I particularly want to live out the rest of my life not knowing what's around the next corner."

"Fair point, I suppose."

"So, what have we got?"

"Apart from what's in our heads, precious little" Myles quipped.

"That, bad? What about Capono's case files?"

"Spirited away… They were gone when I arrived this morning, along with the laptop I was using and all my written notes. What do you two have?"

"Not much…" Bobby admitted despondently. "Bank statements, which I think I should give back to Sue, a few photographs and this." He passed the note threatening Jilly to his colleague.

"Not the nicest of reading, I grant you, but…" he returned it to Bobby. "…I don't see how it helps."

"So what you're saying is we have nothing." Jack sighed.

"I think that pretty much sums it up."

"That's what I thought."

"Hold on, hold on…"

"Tell me you have something, Crash."

"Maybe," he read through the note again. "What was it that Tony was after right from the start?"

"His laptop, of course," Myles offered a little exasperated.

"And when he called you Sparks, what did he ask for?"

"His laptop..." The local anaesthetic he'd been given earlier was starting to wear off and it was making him tetchy.

"…And in the warehouse?"

"His laptop" both men practically shouted simultaneously.

"Okay, so why in this note does he ask for the hard-drive?"

"What?" Jack snatched it from him and re-read it.

"A very good question," the Bostonian agreed.

"Jack mate, didn't you say he denied writing it?"

"Yeah but to be honest I thought it was just another of his lies."

"But if it wasn't," Myles continued the line of reasoning "then whoever did write it must have already known that a) the laptop was missing and b) we had a copy of the drive."

"Which would make it someone involved with the case and not an outside contract," Bobby finished for him. "But who…? Pinter?"

"I wouldn't have thought so," the Bostonian argued. "He's a weasel to be sure but I don't think he'd have the guts."

"Then that brings us all the way back to Angelis or D'Angelo, whatever his name is."

"Sue!" Jack yelled, startling them.

"Thomas? You think she shot you?"

"No Myles. When I first asked her about Tony's laptop, she said someone had come by her apartment to pick it up. A colleague of his, or so he said…"

"Maybe, he wasn't a colleague at all and if he's here in D.C…"

Jack snatched up his cell and hit her number while Myles voiced the thought inside everyone's head.

"The Thomas is the only one left who can identify him. Where is she?"

"At Jack's with his daughter, and Laura…"

"She's not answering," he quickly made another call. "Rob, it's Jack, do you still have someone watching my place?" He broke the contact and stood up, his face pale. "Bobby, we need to get there, fast."

"Would you like some company?" Myles offered.

"The more the merrier, mate."

They'd made it part way down the corridor when Jack remembered something. "Damn it! I left my gun at home this morning!"

"Don't worry, Sparks, I have a spare in my desk drawer. You two go on and I'll catch up." Removing the appropriate key from the bunch, he tossed the rest in their direction and ran back the way he'd come.

o-xxx-o


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N:** So did you figure it out? The clues were all in there. :-D Thank you again for the reviews, please keep them coming.

o-xxx-o

Using the stairs instead of the elevator and taking them two at a time, Bobby arrived in the parking garage just as Myles was unlocking the car. Jack grudgingly moved to the passenger side as the Bostonian reached for the driver's door and then hesitated.

"What's up Harvard?"

Jack looked up from his cell questioningly.

"You're sure you want me to drive? I mean after what happened…"

"It's fine…"

"If you'd rather…"

"Would you just get in?"

"You heard the man. Jack can't drive and I need to check this out," he held up the spare weapon he'd collected from the office. "…Hasn't been fired for a while. I'll give you directions as we go."

"Oh joy, a back-seat driver who'd be right at home in a demolition derby."

"Damn it! Would you just drive?" Jack yelled impatiently.

As they travelled out of the city, he was dialling Sue's number almost continuously, until Bobby rested a calming hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sure they're alright, Sue's probably in the bathroom or something. Don't forget she doesn't have Levi to alert her to calls anymore. Why don't you fill Myles in on the layout of the house as we go?"

Taking a deep breath he laid his cell on his lap, temporarily. "There's a longish driveway, the house isn't visible from the road. A gravel parking area at the front and two narrow passageways either side of the building, both gated off."

"Alarmed?"

"No, just padlocked. Entranceway with a security panel… Living room to the left, which leads to the kitchen: On the right as you go in, is the spare bedroom Sue's using, followed by the playroom and the kids' bedroom. There's, I guess you'd call it a recess, leading to a small bathroom that Jilly and visitors use. The main bedroom is on the other side of that, at the back of the house and next door to the den which is dead opposite the front door and then you're back at the kitchen."

"No upstairs?"

"Just the roof space..."

"What about ingress and egress?"

"One door at the front and another in the kitchen… That one leads to the garden. There are patio doors in the den but they're always locked unless I'm home and lots of windows which should also be locked. The…" He broke off when his cell rang.

"Sue, thank God."

"Sorry, I was giving Laura a bath and I didn't have my phone."

"I'm on my way back but I need you to do something for me."

"Is everything okay?"

"No time to explain. Are all the doors locked?"

"I think so, I could check."

"No! Where are you?"

"In my room. Jack..?"

"And the girls..?"

"Playroom, why, what's going on?"

"I need you to go in there with them. Make sure the blinds are down, lock and bolt the door and don't open it again no matter what happens."

"Jack, I don't…"

"Do it now" he'd said the last part a little more forcefully to get his point across.

"She can't hear you, remember? It doesn't matter if you yell or sing her a lullaby," Myles interjected and Jack ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. He hadn't wanted to frighten her but knew he had no other choice.

"Sue please, your lives might depend on it." His words were met by silence but he could hear movement, recognise the sounds of blinds being pulled, then scuffling, a door shutting, Jilly's voice asking if something was the matter and then nothing. "Sue…?"

"It's okay," she sounded breathless. "We're all in the playroom. Laura thinks it's some kind of game but Jilly knows something's wrong."

"Can you set your phone so I can talk to her?"

"Sure."

"Daddy, I'm scared."

"I know JillyBean, but I need you to be brave…"

"'kay…" She sounded uncertain.

"This is very important. I want you to be Sue's ears and tell her if you hear anything at all in the house."

"Should I open the door?"

"No, sweetheart, stay where you are and just listen very hard, okay? And if Sue tells you to do something, you do it right away."

"Yes sir."

"Good girl. I love you JillyBean and I'll be there soon, I promise."

"Love you, Daddy."

Jack swallowed passed the lump that had formed in his throat. "Now, give the phone back to Sue."

"I'm here."

"Can you make sure she can't hear me?"

"Done…"

"We think that the man who shot Tony is on his way there."

"Why?"

"Because we believe it's the same person who took the laptop and…"

"I'm the only one left who can identify him. But Jack, if it's me he wants then wouldn't it make more sense to leave the children here and for me to go to another part of the house?"

"No! Promise me you won't do that."

"But…"

"Please, Sue, stay where you are, you'll be safer in there. I don't want anything to happen to any of you. Promise me…"

Myles glanced into the rear-view mirror catching Bobby's eye but he just shook his head.

"Promise me…"

"I promise. How much longer…" She broke off suddenly.

"Sue?" The panic in his voice had the other occupants of the car on instant alert.

"Jilly says she can hear something outside."

"What..?"

"Footsteps crunching on the gravel and a gate rattling…"

"Sparks, what's going on, mate?"

"He's there."

"Hell!"

"How much farther," the Bostonian queried worriedly.

"Fifteen minutes at this speed."

"Sue, what's happening..?" Jilly squealed sending a shockwave of fear through him. "What is it?"

"Breaking glass… I think he's inside the house. I have to hang up I don't want him to hear me. Hurry, please." The phone made a clattering sound and then the signal died.

Jack covered his mouth with his hand and screwed up his eyes unable to stifle the agonized groan that escaped him.

"Jack, mate..?"

"He's in the house." Tears pricked at the backs of his eyes as he slowly tightened his hand into a fist before loosening it again, trying desperately to hold on to what remnants of control he had left and again his friend put a steadying hand on his good shoulder, squeezing gently.

"We're almost there Sparks, just hold on mate."

When the car came to a stop at the top of the driveway Bobby was first out, running to the back and pulling two vests from the trunk, one of which he handed to Myles.

"Where's mine?"

"Sorry Jack, you're not invited to this party."

"Damn it Crash, it's my family in there."

Myles raised his eyebrows at the words but remained silent.

"And that's why you're not going in. We need to do this by the book, mate, and you're grounded, remember?"

"I can't stand by and do nothing..."

They were approaching the front of the house and noticing that the blinds were down in the spare bedroom, Bobby relented and handed him a gun. "You're our back-up. Go over by the bushes out of the line of fire and if anyone comes through the front door…"

"Anyone but us, that is," Myles corrected.

"Keys…"

Rummaging in his pocket, he threw them to his friend. Using Jack's parked car for cover, they all moved forward stopping at the side gate but before Bobby could unlock it, the sound of gunfire from inside the house cut through the silence. Changing tack, the Aussie signalled to Myles that they were going in through the front door and then he turned to his friend.

"You stay here Sparks. And that's an order, by the way, not a request."

Jack had no choice but to obey, his legs were barely supporting him as it was and the tightness in his chest had him almost convinced he was having another heart attack. A third shot rang out and the sound was like a hit of pure adrenalin. He was in at a rush, totally oblivious to the scene unfolding in the living room as he stared stricken at the two fresh bullet holes in the playroom door.

Heart trying to hammer its way out of his chest and hands shaking badly, he tried the handle, finding it firmly locked. He knocked and called several times but there was no response and then Bobby was at his side, living up to his nickname as he shoulder-charged the door, knocking it off its hinges. Jack stopped dead for a moment, blinking furiously to accustom himself to the low light level and then looked around frantically, not seeing or hearing any signs of life.

"God, please…" Groping for the light switch, his knees almost buckled but this time in relief when there were no bodies to be seen. A faint whimper drew him to the corner where Sue was hunkered down, hiding behind one of the toy chests. Crouching beside her, he gently touched her arm, which she quickly pulled away before looking up at him. "Sue, it's okay, it's all over."

"Jack!" Throwing herself into his arms, she started to sob and he held her close for a few minutes to comfort her.

"Are the girls alright? Sue, where are they?"

"We're here, Daddy."

Turning his head, he stared in utter disbelief as the double-cushioned seat of one of the wooden benches that lined the wall, slowly lifted up to reveal Jilly. She looked pale and scared but otherwise unharmed. "What on earth?"

"It's one of the places I use when we play hide and seek. You never found me, so I didn't think the bad man would," she stated proudly. "Is it okay, to come out now?"

"Yes, baby, it's okay." Getting shakily to his feet, Jack picked her up holding her close, his eyes tightly closed as he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Jack…" Laura was looking up at him and holding out her arms.

"Come on, sweetheart." Lifting her out, he gave her a cuddle then handed her to Sue, tightening his free arm around both of them, the pain in his shoulder temporarily ignored.

Bobby stood in the doorway watching the scene in front of him with a relieved smile on his face and then cleared his throat. "Sorry to interrupt but I think you need to see this."

The simple yet uninformative statement reminded him of what was going on elsewhere in the house and he let them go, putting Jilly down again. "Stay in here with Laura."

Even at her age, she could recognise the difference between 'daddy' and 'Agent Hudson'. "Yes sir. Come on Laura, let's find Piglet."

Jack followed his friend out into the hall where Angelis and two other Homeland Security Agents stood in the entranceway.

"Agent Hudson…"

"Agent Angelis... What can I do for you?"

"We've come to relieve you of your prisoner."

"What makes you think we have one?" Bobby asked casually but Jack answered before Angelis could.

"Cell phones…"

"Geez, I'd forgotten Big Brother."

"Do I at least get to see who tried to kill me before you take him?"

"Be my guest."

Bobby put a hand on his friend's arm. "You're not going to believe it, mate."

"Actually, I think I might… His initials wouldn't be Raul Ramirez, by any chance?"

"How'd you know that?"

"I'll tell you later."

Walking into the living room, he eyed the man angrily but only received a blank stare in return. "You wanna get that piece of garbage off my couch, Myles?"

"My pleasure," the Bostonian yanked him non-too-gently to his feet.

"That's him." Sue's voice had them all turning in her direction. "He's the one who came to the apartment for Tony's laptop."

The two unnamed Agents who had accompanied Angelis pushed their way into the room. "We'll take him now."

"Jack?"

"Let him go, Myles, I have a feeling this is way out of our jurisdiction."

They all watched as he was bundled into the back of a waiting SUV.

"You know something Sparks, I almost feel sorry for him."

"Me too…"

"Well I certainly don't, he ruined an expensive camel hair coat." Myles complained showing them his ripped sleeve.

"It's good to see you, Myles."

"You too, Thomas, although it would have been better under more propitious circumstances."

"More, what..?"

"Don't worry about it Sue, he's just showing off, using flashy words that no one else can understand. I'm starving. You got anything to eat round here?" Bobby asked hopefully. "There's nothing like taking a rogue agent out of the game to give you an appetite."

"Crash," Jack cautioned.

"Sorry, wasn't thinking."

Sue just shrugged. "Are eggs and bacon, okay?"

"Just what the doctor ordered."

"I'll give you a hand." Jack offered.

"Thanks." Walking to the door, she suddenly stopped and turned towards him. "I told you he didn't look like an 'Anderson'."

Jack laughed, "That, you did, Ms Thomas. That, you did."

o-xxx-o


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N:** Sorry for the really long update delay, hope your interest hasn't waned. Just a word on this one... I know It's way past the festive season but this was never meant to be a 'Christmas story' but a story that just happened to take place around Christmas time. Enjoy and please take a moment to review and let me know you're still out there - thank you.

o-xxx-o

Returning to the den after checking on Jilly, Jack picked up the book he'd been reading earlier but immediately tossed it aside before reaching over to dim the lamp and lying back on the leather couch; his good arm shielding his eyes. Life had finally settled into some semblance of normality or, as normal as it ever got in the Hudson household, and with the children in bed and Sue having opted for an early night, there was a welcome stillness to the place that hadn't been present in a long time.

Both he and Sue had spent most of Tuesday and Wednesday in and out of various departments in the Hoover Building either giving statements, or clarifying events and evidence, but by the end it had been made clear to him, it was now strictly an Homeland Security case and that they had been the ones who had cleaned out CR3. They'd given their word that all bugging devices had now been removed and the powers-that-be would be issuing them with new cell-phones a.s.a.p. He'd thanked them grudgingly and headed straight for the bullpen to ask Bobby to make certain they kept to their word and found the place a hive of boredom and inactivity. With Myles, D'Angelis and Tara having all returned to their respective units and himself being on enforced leave, the surviving members of the team were restricted to going through files in the hope of finding new leads on 'old dogs'

One thing had become obvious to him over those past two days, while he'd resented being pushed around by O.P.R., Pinter had inadvertently done him a favour. He needed a break, not just a week to recuperate from his injuries but time to sort himself out and consider his future, especially if he wanted to convince the court to allow Jilly to stay with him permanently.

Bobby had been right he _was_ an emotional wreck, stressed out almost to breaking point, and it was affecting both his home and working life. The clues to the identity of the gunman had been right in front of him but he'd been too distracted to put them together until it was almost too late. The note; Sue's cryptic comment about his name, which he hadn't thought important enough to question her further on and then the incident in CR3 when Tara had unintentionally let slip Sue's identity. It had been Ramirez who had jumped in to explain to Myles that she was Tony's wife but if, as he'd said, they'd only worked a few cases together and all of them in San Diego, why would he even have known of Sue's existence? It wasn't exactly something Capono was likely to brag about on his home turf when the chances were some, if not all, of his colleagues knew he was already married.

Sue… She'd seemed to take the whole Rodriguez scare in her stride, even joining in with the laughter over the meal she'd cooked for them all but when Myles and Bobby had left she'd excused herself and gone to her room. Not wanting to intrude, he'd left her alone until much later that evening when she'd knocked on the den door and come in to join him. Without saying a word she'd sat down and snuggling into his side and he'd held her for hours.

However, over the next couple of days she'd seemed somewhat distant and at first, he'd thought he was imagining it but yesterday had proven his suspicions correct. Between them, they'd had to cobble together a breakfast out of the odds and ends in the cupboard and refrigerator and that meant he needed to go shopping. He'd suggested that, since Sue and Laura hadn't been out of doors for weeks, they come along and she'd readily agreed, which had been a blessing as he still wasn't able to drive. The run-up to Christmas had been in full swing with festive shop windows, carollers and people dressed in all kinds of weird and wonderful costumes as they collected for various charities. The girls had been completely entranced, enthusiastically pointing out all the decorations and lights, their eyes shining with excitement, so on impulse he'd decided to take them to visit 'Santa' at the mall.

After standing in line for over an hour, it had been Jilly's turn and he'd asked Sue to read her lips and find out what she asked for. At first she'd said no but when he'd explained that he still had no idea what to get her and didn't want her to be disappointed, she'd reluctantly agreed.

It hadn't been what he was expecting… She'd told 'Santa' all she really wanted was to stay with her daddy forever and always and for him to be happy again. His eyes had filled with tears and he'd been convinced all the other parents had heard what she'd said and were looking at him, making him feel both guilty and embarrassed. Sue had obviously picked up on his discomfort and given his hand a reassuring squeeze but when he'd looked at her, she'd turn away. Next had come Laura's turn... She'd been too afraid to go on her own so Jilly had held her hand. He had no idea what she'd asked for but whatever it was had upset her mother so much she'd been silent all the way home and the distance between them had suddenly opened into a yawning chasm.

In a perverse way it was a welcome relief and yet he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He cared for her and Laura a great deal and under different circumstances, maybe they… but he wasn't ready to take that final step and open up his heart, nor was he sure he ever would be. Too much had happened over the past couple of years and the scars were still too raw.

There had _never_ seemed to be a right time for them… At first there was the 'no frat' rule and then she'd moved to New York. Then the car wreck, his father's death and now Jilly… He'd sometimes fantasised about them meeting again but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined it would be like this. Perhaps it was time to accept that although they both felt something for each other and probably always would, it was just never meant to be. Sighing, he got up and walked to the desk, after all it wasn't as though he was in any fit state to embark on any kind of new relationship anyway, there were just too many unresolved issues and one of them needed to be dealt with very soon. Opening up his laptop, he took his credit card out of his wallet and booked two seats on a flight to Wisconsin.

o-xxx-o


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N:** Thank you again for all your reviews, and your patience!

o-xxx-o

Jack had taken his time showering and getting dressed the next morning as he tried to work out how to tell Sue he was going away and it hadn't helped that, because of the time of the year, the only seats he could get were for that afternoon. Arriving a little late at the breakfast table, he apologised as he made a bowl of cereal, poured a glass of orange juice and sat down. He listened to the girls' chatter for a while but knew he'd have to come clean very soon or they'd never be ready in time to get to the airport.

"Sue..?"

"Yes?"

"I…" he paused not really knowing how to begin and was relieved when Jilly jumped in to fill the glaring silence.

"Daddy..?"

"Yes, JillyBean..."

"Can we go and see Santa again today?"

"Why?"

"I forgot something."

"What?"

"I wanted to ask him if he could try to find Sparky for me."

Leaning forward he tenderly kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry sweetheart but we won't have time."

"Oh" she sighed, disappointment written all over her face.

"Are you going somewhere?" Sue asked curiously and he gave her an apologetic smile.

"Home..."

"…To Wisconsin?"

"I promised Jilly I'd take her to see her grandmother before Christmas and the only available flight was today at five."

She nodded but didn't reply.

"We're going to see Grandma?"

"That's right, so I need you to go to your room and lay out all the things you want to take with you on the bed."

"Yeah, we're going to see Grandma!" she screamed at the top of her voice and skipped her way to the door before stopping to ask a question. "Are Sue and Laura coming?"

"No, sweetheart..."

"Why not..?"

"Because she's your grandma, not ours," Sue answered before he could.

"But you'll be here when we come back."

"Your clothes…" Jack stepped in before things got too uncomfortable.

"Okay, Daddy..."

Once she'd gone, he turned his attention to Sue again. "I'm sorry it's such short notice."

"That's okay. You're not spending the holiday with her?"

"No," his expression clouded over.

"But I thought, I mean you always looked forward to going home and your Mom's cinnamon rolls."

"Not anymore."

"What happened?"

"Lisa, Jilly… It's a mess, Sue, and I need to try and fix it. I'm sorry but…"

She squeezed his hand the way she had in the mall. "Don't apologise, its fine, really. It's time Laura and I were moving on, anyway."

"Look," Jack tightened his grip so she couldn't pull away. "The house will be empty till the 21st, so you might as well make use of it until you have some place to go. Preferably somewhere better than the dive you were living in across town and you'd both be more than welcome here for Christmas."

"Thanks but we'll probably visit friends, maybe even Tara if she's home. We'll be okay."

"What about your parents?"

"No," she shook her head emphatically. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"I wish things…" Whatever he'd been about to say was lost when Jilly came running back into the room. "Finished, Daddy, come and look."

"That was fast." Getting up he followed her to her room and stared in bemusement. "JillyBean, we'll only be gone for five days, not the rest of our lives. You need to put most of this stuff back in the wardrobe."

"But Daddy…"

"No buts. Look, you'll need one… two… three… four… five… six pairs of undies and socks," he counted it out on his fingers to help her remember. "Three t-shirts; two woolly jumpers; two skirts; two pairs of jeans and a party dress…. oh, and two pairs of pyjamas. Pick them out and I'll pack them for you."

"What if they get dirty?"

"Then either Grandma or I will wash them."

"And if you can't?"

"We'll buy new ones."

"'kay."

"And, you can take crayons, two colouring books and a story book."

"And my join-the-dots book..?"

"Alright..."

"What about my toothbrush?"

"I'll take care of that. Hurry up now."

"Daddy, I haven't bought Grandma a present."

"Neither have I but we'll find something nice, I promise."

"Daddy…"

"Yes."

"Can I take my box as well?"

"What box?"

"Grandpa's, box."

"Why would you want to take that?"

"So I can show Grandma I'm looking after it."

Jack nodded. "We'll put it in my case." He returned to the kitchen shaking his head.

"**What**?"

"She wanted to take everything."

"I can help her if you'd like."

"Sue…" he'd hoped to talk to her some more but she had other ideas.

"I'll help her."

"Okay, thanks. There's a grey gym bag on top of my wardrobe, leave any overspill on my bed and I'll pack it with mine. And be warned, she's full of questions today."

"She takes after her father, then. Maybe she is going to be a lawyer, or an F.B.I. agent." Sue grinned cheekily but received what could only be described as a melancholy smile in return.

The time had flown by and, in spite of his belief that it was best for both of them, saying goodbye was proving far more painful than he'd anticipated, especially since he already knew in his heart she wouldn't be there when he got back. He'd sent a hyperactive Jilly to the front door to watch for the cab and now they were standing together in the living room

"Take care of yourself and Laura."

"I will. I hope everything works out for you here and in Wisconsin. I'll be praying for you."

"Thank you." Genuinely touched, his voice was choked. "You'll call me sometimes and let me know how you're both doing?"

She nodded her eyes sparkling with unshed tears which made him hurt inside. Pulling her close, he almost lost it when he felt her arms slide around him. They stood that way, with her head resting on his shoulder, until a car horn sounded outside and he was forced to let her go.

"Cab's here."

"You'd better go."

"I know." He caressed her cheek lovingly just as he had on the night he'd gone to meet Tony and their eyes locked for a few moments before he tore himself away. "Goodbye, Sue."

"**Goodbye**."

Picking up both bags and hoicking them over his good shoulder he carried them outside. Sue stood at the window holding Laura in her arms as he put Jilly safely in the car and their bags in the trunk before opening the passenger door. He stopped and turned to face her once more, the regret and sadness in his eyes mirroring her own and then he was gone, leaving her watching until they disappeared out onto the main road, her tears now running unchecked down her cheeks.

"Mommy..?"

"It's okay honey mommy's just sad."

"Jilly, gone."

"I know." Wiping her eyes she hugged her a little tighter. "Tell you what, why don't we go and see if we can find some chocolate ice-cream to cheer ourselves up?"

o-xxx-o

Collecting the last of Laura's things, Sue picked up the DVDs Jack had bought for her, uncertain of whether or not to take them. They'd been a present, of sorts and her daughter loved them but they'd been meant to entertain her while they were stuck inside and now… Deciding to leave them behind for Jilly, she stacked them on the small table in her room,

She wondered how they were both getting on in Wisconsin, hoped that Jack had managed to sort things out with his mother. It seemed strange to think of them at odds with one another, they'd always been so close but then she had no idea what had happened to cause the rift, other than it being something to do with Lisa. She could probably hazard a pretty good guess though, from the things that Tara had discovered during her stay in D.C... A mixture of fact, gossip, first-hand information and speculation, that hadn't painted him in a very good light. At first she'd dismissed it out of hand, it just wasn't the Jack Hudson she knew and lov-, cared for but the more Tara had uncovered, the more plausible it had all become until she'd finally accepted that he wasn't the same person from seven years ago. He'd changed almost beyond recognition, the happy, carefree, fun-loving guy had all-but vanished, to be replaced by someone who was conflicted and worn down by life.

It would have been convenient to place the starting point of his downward spiral at the car crash. By all accounts it had been horrendous and he'd been in agony for months afterwards and still suffered the pain from his injuries even now but, from the things Bobby had said and those Tara hadn't, she'd had to accept that her leaving had really been the beginning of it all. His father's sudden death coming so soon after the accident, had left him shattered and she couldn't even imagine what he'd gone through, never having experienced it herself, but she knew how she would have felt had it been her father and that was enough.

He'd gone home to be with his mother but couldn't deal with the overwhelming grief, so he'd started drinking to dull the pain. One thing had let to another and he'd picked up some woman in a bar, maybe for comfort and she'd ended up pregnant. No, that wasn't fair… By his own admission, he did meet women in bars but this wasn't some one-night stand, it was someone he'd known practically all his life. Then somehow, he'd managed to pull himself together and returned to D.C., taking up his life and career again. He'd never mentioned having a child until, eighteen months or so ago after Tara had left for Chicago, Lisa had showed up at the bullpen with Jilly in tow. He hadn't been happy about it but he'd moved out of his apartment and bought this house for them all to live in. Tara's sources had said they were never really happy together and he'd been overheard arguing with her both over the phone and in the office, mainly over money and about ten months later, she'd shot through leaving their daughter behind. No one seemed to know why exactly but the speculation was that she'd done something he couldn't forgive and he'd told her to go. He'd never been the same after that. Why they'd never married was anyone's guess and she suspected that was, at least in part, the cause of the rift with his mother.

She had to admit there had been times when 'her' Jack had made the briefest of appearances, proving that somewhere buried deep inside he still remained, fighting for survival, and if things had been different she might seriously have considered taking him up on his offer to stay, at least for Christmas, but his wasn't the only life that was in disarray and although she felt guilty about it, considering all the times he'd been there for her, she had to concentrate on herself and her own child. Laura had grown far more attached to Jack's daughter than she'd realised and it had shaken her when she'd asked 'Santa' if Jilly could be her big sister. She needed a 'normal' life, a settled life free from angst and emotional turmoil where she could just enjoy being a child and as much as she wished it could be otherwise, she knew it couldn't be here. There was too much uncertainty about Jack's future with the Bureau, the custody battle he was fighting and most importantly the fact that, although they were separated at the moment, Jack seemed to still be hung up on Lisa and she had the feeling that despite everything, he still loved her. She couldn't just throw caution to the wind and hope they never got back together, only a fool would…

The vibration from her cell-phone startled her out of her introspection and when she read the message, relief rushed through her as she saw something had finally gone right in her life. It was a text from the oldest of her brothers, Billy, to say he was transferring some money into her account to help her get back on her feet. She'd contacted him out of sheer desperation because she knew he wouldn't ask too many questions or tell her parents. For now, and against Jack's wishes, she would return to the apartment she'd been renting and pack up her things, all she needed was transport for herself and Laura. With no money for a cab, she called the one person she knew would help.

"G'day Sue, something you need?"

"A ride…"

"No problem-o. I can be with you in about an hour."

o-xxx-o


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N:** I hadn't intended to include a 'Wisconsin chapter' but had a change of heart. As always, reviews are appreciated, if not craved! Thank you in advance and enjoy!

**## - ## = Flashback Scenes  
**

o-xxx-o

The plane was airborne at last and with nothing to do for the next hour-and-a-half and Jilly engrossed in her colouring book, Jack finally allowed himself to relax and reflect on all that had happened during their trip.

At first it had been as difficult and awkward as he'd anticipated but Jilly had been thrilled to see her grandmother again and that was all that counted. She'd insisted they both stay in the family home and not at the nearby travel lodge as he'd planned, making the lack of warmth between them even harder to ignore. Leaving Jilly in her care the next morning, he'd forced himself to visit his father's grave, shedding more than a few tears as he stood alone in the cemetery. Allie had found him there hours later and taken him to the apartment she and Ray were currently renting, the medics having forbidden her to fly back to New York until after the twins were born. She'd made him coffee and tried to reassure him that, in spite of the distance that had grown between them, his mother still loved him and had missed him terribly and that he needed to talk to her, explain why he'd done what he had.

Talk, the four-letter word that scared him more than any other, except one… He was hopeless at sharing what was inside, always had been, and his mother should have known that but staying silent had already cost him so much…

He'd spent the third day alone, wandering around all his old haunts, but the beloved field he'd revisited over and over in his mind when he needed a tranquil place to hide, had gone; dug over and concreted ready for the builders to move in. A combination of icy rain and snow had started to fall, the bleakness of the weather matching his mood as he'd trudged despondently back home.

Jilly had run to meet him as soon as he walked through the door, the heat of the log fire and her welcoming smile lightening his mood slightly...

**##** "Look what Grandma bought me." She twirled around and around, proudly showing off her new dress.

"It's beautiful sweetheart, but if it's a Christmas present you shouldn't be wearing it now."

"It's not. I have lots of other presents for Christmas; Nana's going to give them to Santa."

"Jilly tells me you haven't even bought a tree," his mother scolded as she came out of the kitchen drying her hands.

"I haven't had time," he sighed removing his coat. "I'll sort it out when I get home."

"Daddy…"

"Yes, sweetheart…"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, just tired."

"Promise…"

"I promise. Now run along and play but change your clothes first."

"Yes, Daddy…"

"Jack…" The tone held an admonishment.

"Not now Mom, we've been all through this. I'm going to have a shower."

"Dinner's in an hour." She looked on unhappily, shaking her head when he put up a hand in acknowledgement but didn't bother to turn as he'd climbed the stairs. **##**

o-xxx-o

The thaw in relations had come that evening and in an unexpected way that he had no intention of ever repeating. They'd finished eating and his mom was clearing away the plates while Jilly told him all about her day, the shops and all the pretty things she'd seen. Turning too quickly she'd caught a glass with her elbow and instinctively he'd thrust out an arm to catch it; his left arm… The pain that had shot through his shoulder had been horrendous, the room had blurred and he'd been convinced he was going to pass out. Through the haze he'd heard Jilly screaming for her grandma but it had seemed to be coming from a long way away and he hadn't been able to focus… He'd felt a hand on the back of his head, guiding it down until it was almost to his knees and he'd drawn in slow deep breaths as someone rubbed his back… and all the time Jilly was crying. Thankfully, the pain had eventually begun to subside and the things around him had become a little clearer; his Mom was on the phone and the little girl was nowhere to be seen.

**##** "Jilly..?" He gasped out her name, desperate to know if she was alright.

"…In her room."

"I need to…"

"She's fine, just a little shaken. Doc Tyler is on his way over."

"I don't want…" Before he could finish there was a knock on the door.

"That'll be him."

"Do you have him on speed dial, or something?" His attempt at humour was lost on her

"No, he moved house a year ago. He only lives a block away."

"Darn the luck." Closing his eyes, he winced and blew out another shuddering breath.

o-xxx-o

"Well, you've been incredibly fortunate Jackson, could have been a whole lot worse."

Jack smiled despite his discomfort. Bob Tyler was your archetypal country doctor who probably wouldn't have been out of place on 'Walton's Mountain' or the 'Little House on The Prairie' and even though he was a toughened F.B.I. Agent, the old man could still make him feel like he was four-years-old again and being treated for a scraped knee.

"The shoulder's healing up very nicely, or at least it was until today. I'm afraid we're going to have to put it back into a sling, just to rest it you understand."

Jack looked up at him in surprise. "You know about what happened?"

"Of course, I'm still your family doctor and those high-flying F.B.I. bods of yours send me copies of all the hospital reports. Your son is a very lucky man, if he hadn't been wearing his vest that day and the crates hadn't broken his fall, he'd be up there with his father, God rest his soul. Now…" he paused while he closed his bag. "You take it easy and leave that sling on, you hear."

"Yes sir, do I get my lollipop now?"

"I see his big city sense of humour is still intact," delving into his pocket he pulled out a red one and handed it to him. "For little Jilly."

"I'll see you out, Bob."

After they'd gone Jack struggled to his feet and made his way upstairs and when he returned his mother was sitting on the couch waiting for him. She motioned for him to sit beside her.

"How is she?"

"Asleep."

"That's good. And you?"

"The injection Doc gave me is kicking in. I'll be fine."

Surprising him, she reached across and caressed his cheek. "Is what he said true?"

"Mom, I…"

"If you hadn't been wearing your vest..?" she prompted.

"We wouldn't be having this conversation, or any other for that matter." He admitted honestly.

"Oh dear God, Jack… You mean I could have lost you too, I-." Her eyes filled with tears. "Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive a silly old woman who should have been supporting you all this time, instead of blaming you?"

"If you can forgive a mule-headed son, who should have taken the time to explain and not kept everything locked up inside."

"You really are your father's son, you know and I know I haven't shown it lately but I do love you, very, very much." She held out her arms and he went into them willing. just as he had when he was a child… **##**

Someone touched his arm making him jump and he found himself looking up at one of the female flight attendants.

"I'm sorry to disturb you but your little girl dropped these and they rolled into the aisle." She handed him three crayons and when he glanced to his right, he saw that Jilly had fallen asleep and her things had slid from her lap and onto the floor.

"I'm sorry, thank you."

"You're welcome," she gave him a flirtatious smile. "Is there anything I can do for you, anything at all?"

He had the uncomfortable feeling she really did mean 'anything' and joining the 'mile-high club' wouldn't have been off the menu, if he hadn't already been a member, that was. "I know it's a bit late but is there any chance of another coffee..?" He asked hopefully and couldn't fail to notice the disappointment in her curt response.

"No problem."

"Thank you."

It was steaming hot but he sipped it gratefully, they'd been in such a rush that afternoon they'd barely made the flight. He and his mother had talked long into the night and at the end she'd offered him her unconditional support, telling him to contact her immediately if there was anything she could do to help with the court hearing or even if he just needed to talk. It had been a pivotal moment, he'd felt disconnected from the good part of life for so long, only thinking dark thoughts, but she'd given him back a lifeline and a reason for hope. They'd covered the practicalities and he'd filled her in on things she hadn't known or understood but he hadn't been willing to burden her with the more personal stuff… The guilt, the nightmares… Maybe he _would_ be able to share that part of himself one day but not with her… Then, just after lunch yesterday, Ray had called to tell them Allie was in the hospital and about to have the twins. They hadn't entered the world until almost midnight in the end but he wouldn't have missed their arrival for the world. Ray had left them alone for a while and he'd held both of the tiny babies in his arms. It had brought back so many memories of the day Jilly was born. He cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment when he remembered that he'd actually cried but Allie had just held his hand. He could hear her words clearly in his head.

"Go home, Jack. Find someone to love and be loved by. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you..."

Jilly changed positions next to him and he reached over tenderly stroking the hair back from her eyes.

"Are we there yet, Daddy?"

"No sweetheart, go back to sleep."

"'kay."

He waited for her to settle again and returned to his musings…

Getting to the airport that morning had been a nightmare. Jilly had wanted to see Auntie Allie and the babies and when they'd finally made it home and started to pack, he'd realised he needed something to hold all the presents they'd been given. After a last minute rush to the shops and battling his way through the Christmas shoppers, he'd just made it back in time to throw everything, quite literally, into the bags, kiss his mom goodbye and pile into a cab but, now he'd had time to think about it, it had probably been better that way… There had been no time for tears or long farewells, and the relief of knowing the one thing he'd feared wasn't going to happen had made it easier for him to leave… There was no way his mom was going to have a lonely Christmas, Allie, Ray and her parents had promised to keep her occupied for the entire holiday season.

Airport security had been another trial… For some reason they'd decided to pick him out of the crowd. He'd put up with them going through his and Jilly's belongings, even complied when they'd asked him to remove his sling so they could check to make sure he wasn't hiding anything but when they'd said they intended to un-wrap all the presents he'd drawn the line and the young officer had called in his supervisor. In the end, he'd practically had to force them to look at his F.B.I. ID and he'd received a half-hearted apology and been ushered through the barriers.

As their destination drew closer, his thoughts turned to home. His mom had been right about one thing, he needed to go shopping at the first opportunity. Buy a tree and some decorations, get some appropriate food for the two of them and give the little girl next to him the Christmas she deserved. The fasten seatbelt sign came on and he checked to make sure hers was tightly secured.

"Daddy..?" She rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"We're home." Not wanting to risk the hassle of security checks again, he took his badge from his inside pocket and put it somewhere more accessible, having already left his arm free from its protection. "Pass me your things, sweetheart, and I'll put them away."

o-xxx-o


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N:** Bit of a strange question. When you use terms of endearment like 'sweetheart', 'honey', 'mate' etc. do you start them with a capital or small letter?

o-xxx-o

By the time they'd made it out of the airport and into a cab, the sun had set over D.C. and to avoid the city traffic, their driver had taken a roundabout route.

"Look at the snowman, Daddy," Jilly stared open-mouthed out of her window. "His nose is red!"

Following her gaze, he spotted a large collection of ornaments on someone's front lawn. "There's a reindeer too…"

"And a sleigh…"

"Why don't we see how many different things we can find on the way home? We already have a snowman, a reindeer and a sleigh. That's three…"

"And a tree…"

"A Santa, up on the roof over there..."

"Snow…"

"Excuse me?"

"It's snowing."

"I don't think that counts."

"Course it does… There's always snow on Christmas cards."

"Touché"

"What's that mean?"

"It means, we count the snow," he agreed, admitting defeat.

Jack had been so engrossed in the game, that he hadn't noticed which way they'd headed until it was too late. They were travelling along a road he'd avoided for a very long time. Why was it that no matter how hard you willed yourself not to, and how much you dreaded it, you always finished up looking at the one thing you'd hoped never to see again? Whether it was lack of willpower or his mind playing cruel games he had no idea, but the shabby hotel across the street had claimed his full attention, stirring up memories so painful it felt as though someone was twisting a knife in his gut.

"Daddy… Dad-dy!" Jilly shook his arm, pulling him back to the present.

"What?"

"Doesn't matter, it's gone now, so it doesn't count," she sighed unhappily.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, where were we?"

The further they travelled into the more residential areas, the more things Jilly pointed out but after a while the sightings dwindled.

"Looks like the festive spirit hasn't reached this part of the world yet," the cabbie joked. "You might need to give me some pointers from here. I don't know this area very well and the sat-nav's not working."

"No problem."

Almost twenty minutes later, they turned into the driveway and Jack realised just how right his statement had been. The house was dark with no signs of life and it felt as though Christmas had indeed past them by. He was vaguely concerned that the security light hadn't come on when they approached but brushed the thought aside, putting it down to Sue forgetting to reset it when she left. After paying the fare, he went to the trunk to collect their bags and was so engrossed in making sure nothing was left behind that Jilly's shriek startled him.

"Daddy, Daddy, look!"

"In a minute honey…"

"No, Daddy, now…" She grabbed his hand and tugged "Daddy!"

"JillyBean, what…" Looking up from what he was doing, his question remained unasked. The darkness that had greeted them had been replaced by, what seemed like, hundreds of twinkling lights. Some were strung out across the house, under the eaves, forming white and blue icicles while multi-coloured strands lit up the hedges and a fully decorated tree stood in the entranceway.

"It's Christmas, Daddy! Now, Santa'll be able to find us."

Jack stared dumbfounded. "He certainly will."

After giving the driver directions to get him back to the city, he waited until the cab disappeared before bending to retrieve their luggage.

"Uncle Bobby!"

"Hi darlin'… welcome home." Picking her up, he spun her around and then let her go. "Let me give you a hand there, Sparks."

"Are you responsible for all this?"

The big man shrugged self-consciously. "Yeah well, couldn't disappoint JillyBean."

"Thank you." Jack found the gesture unexpectedly touching.

"No problem-o. So, how did it go with your Mom?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Did you get the chance to straighten things out?"

"Sort-of but I didn't go into detail. There was a bunch of stuff she really didn't need to know."

"True."

"How about here? Any repercussions..?"

"Nada, although…" He broke off, grinning from ear-to-ear when Jilly came running out of the house again.

"Laura's here, Daddy! Laura's here! Is she staying for Christmas? Say she can, please… Please…"

"Calm down sweetheart and go back indoors."

"But…"

"It's cold out here, do as you're told and I'll be in in a minute."

"Yes, sir…"

When she'd gone Jack turned to Bobby, a questioning look on his face.

"Sue's inside."

"I thought she was going to stay with friends."

"Actually, she was going back to that dive she calls home but I charmed her into staying… at least for Christmas." Jack's lack of enthusiasm bothered him. "Is that a problem?"

"Why should it be?"

"You tell me, Sparks. You're the one with a face as long as a wet weekend."

Ignoring him, Jack picked up the bag full of presents and took it inside.

Walking into the living room he found Sue on the floor, her back against the couch and Laura sitting between her legs as she read her a story. She looked up and smiled when Laura let her know he was there.

"Hi, I hope you don't mind but we decided to stay."

"So, I see." His expression was guarded, giving her no indication one way or the other.

"It is okay?"

"Sure."

"If you'd rather…"

At that moment, Jilly came charging in through the door with Bobby in hot pursuit, almost falling over her own feet in her haste to get to him.

"Slow down kiddo or you're gonna hurt yourself."

"Daddy, I wanted to show Sue and Laura my new dress but the cases won't open."

"That's because they're locked."

"Can you open them for me, pleeease?"

"Tomorrow…"

"But…"

"I said, tomorrow." His tone told her there was no use in arguing and her face fell but, for some reason even he didn't understand, her reaction irritated him. "Go and get cleaned up while I make us something to eat... Now, Jillian..."

"Jack mate, the kid's just excited. Why don't I treat you all to take-out, it'll save all that faffing around?"

"Whatever…"

Sue and Bobby watched perplexed as he strode out into the hall but when she tried to follow, the Aussie stopped her.

"I've got it."

"If he doesn't want us, tell him we'll go back to the apartment."

"Nah, you're good. There's something else going down here."

o-xxx-o

Tapping on the bedroom door, he walked in without waiting to be asked just as Jack exited the bathroom.

"Geez mate that was some entrance, you really know how to put a dampener on a surprise, don't you?"

"My house, my entrance..."

"Yeah well someone had to do something, or did you just plan on shutting the door and letting the entire holiday season pass you by? What's up, mate?"

"Why should anything be up?" He asked without looking in his friend's direction as he opened one of the cases and started to sort through it.

"You've been back for all of ten minutes and you've already yelled at Jilly for being a kid and…"

"I did not yell."

"As good as... And, poor Sue would probably have felt more welcome in Nazi Germany than she does here, right now."

"I know," he sank down onto the bed while Bobby made himself comfortable against the dresser. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting all this."

"It was supposed to be a _pleasant_ surprise, mate."

"It was…"

"Then why the mood..?"

"The drive home..."

"Now you've lost me."

"…The cabbie took a different route."

"Don't tell me… He ripped you off for the fare."

"You think I would have let him do that?"

"Guess not. When it comes to money, you're almost as tight as Myles." It had been intended as a joke but didn't even raise a smile. "You wanna give me a little more info, here?"

Jack looked up, distress written in every feature. "It wasn't the cost, it was the location. I didn't notice until it was too late."

"The loc-?" the Aussie winced as the penny finally dropped. "Oh geez, sorry mate, perhaps I should have picked you both up, but it's not like you could avoid the place forever."

"I was planning on trying."

"Look Sparks, I know it's hard but you have two kids in there who deserve at least a shot at a happy Christmas, not to mention Sue; her life hasn't exactly been a barrel of laughs lately either. Maybe you've all been given the chance to turn it around, after all, tis the season for a reason."

"You're right, about Laura and JillyBean anyway" he rubbed his hands over his face and massaged his temples. "Give me a few minutes to regroup and then send Jilly in."

"You got it and I'll organise the grub, even us agony aunts need refuelling occasionally. Maybe I'll make that my second job. 'Ask Agent Manning, he'll put you right'."

"Will you get out of here!?"

o-xxx-o

The meal, when it arrived, came from two different sources since they hadn't been able to reach a compromise. Sue and Jack had the Chinese food while Laura and Jilly had pizza and Bobby helped himself to a lot of both. When they'd finished they all adjourned to the living room where both agents caught their ex-colleague up on the goings-on of Howie, Otis and all their other mutual acquaintances.

"I hate to break this up but its way past a certain two peoples' bedtime." Laura had fallen asleep in her mother's arms while Jilly was in her usual position, snuggled into Jack's side with her eyes closed.

"I think that's my cue," Bobby stood up and stretched.

"You don't have to leave."

"That's okay, gotta work in the morning and wouldn't want to get caught napping at my desk, not that there's anyone _to_ catch me... seems our unit supervisor's gone A.W.O.L."

"Hey I'm injured, remember."

"Not to mention, persona non grata."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Jack, I'll put the girls to bed, you see Bobby out."

"Thanks."

"Ah, domestic bliss, you can't beat it." Bobby snickered as they stood outside in the cold night air.

"How would you know?"

"True, true... By the way, Sue has this whole scenario in her head about you and Jilly and you don't exactly come out of it smelling of roses. It's one of the reasons she wasn't going to stay."

"Did you say anything?"

"Nah, but I think you should."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, it's…"

Bobby cut him off. "You need to let it go and if there's anyone in this world you could talk to, it'd be her."

"I talk to you."

"Not the same and you know it."

"What makes you think it would be any easier with Sue?"

"Simple mate, you're in love with her, always have been…" Jack opened his mouth to protest but his friend cut him off. "Don't try to deny it, not to me. Give it a chance Sparks, see where it leads."

"And if it leads nowhere, then what? I have to think of Jilly."

"Look, if there are two people in this world destined to be together, it's you two."

"Perhaps you should consider that career move after all, you're worse than Lucy ever was."

"At least think about it Sparks, that's all I'm asking."

"If it'll get you off my case..."

"It's a start," he fished around in his pocket for his keys. "Then have a good one and I'll see you in the New Year. Call me if you need to talk, I'll be around somewhere but I can't guarantee I'll be sober. Merry Christmas, Sparky."

"Merry Christmas, Buddy." He turned to go inside but Bobby called him back.

"Geez, I almost forgot."

"What now?" Jack walked over to join him at the car.

"They tracked down the SUV Ramirez had been using."

"Anything..?"

"Wiped clean but they found this jammed down the side of the backseat." Taking out a large brown bag, he handed it to his friend who peered inside and then looked to the skies mouthing a 'thank you'.

"Don't you want to give it to her?"

"Put him under the tree when you get one, tell her Santa brought him home. Night, mate, and remember what I said, okay."

o-xxx-o


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N:** A long delay between posts, I know and my only excuse? The sun came out. What can I say? When you live in England, you have to take full advantage of every moment! :-D Not the happiest of chapters, I'm afraid, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

o-xxx-o

Jack had absented himself almost immediately, explaining that he needed to sort out the bags and stash the presents somewhere Jilly wouldn't find them but despite Bobby's assurances that his mood had nothing to do with finding them there, Sue still felt uncomfortable about staying. Lying back, she allowed the warm water to soothe her, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent of her favourite bath foam as she contemplated her next move. As luck would have it, most of their things were still packed, so in the morning, all she had to do was add the last few bits and pieces; arrange for a ride into town and go back to her rented accommodation. It was something she should have done a week ago. The danger was long past and they'd already taken too much advantage of his generosity. It was clear to her now that he'd only asked them to stay because of Jilly but there was a problem, a very big one… she was worried about him. He needed help, that was obvious, but if he wouldn't talk to her then what good could she do by staying?

Sighing, she reluctantly stood and dried herself before putting on a pair of silky, pale blue pyjamas and climbing into bed. Her dreams were haunted by Jack's face, both as it was now, and the way she'd always remembered it… The laughter, the fun, the sparkle in those beautiful, expressive, brown eyes, the cheeky grin… She felt a sudden need to check on him and make sure he was okay but when she looked at the clock it was just past 4am and way too late to think of disturbing him. Knowing that she wasn't likely to get back to sleep any time soon, she decided to go to the kitchen and make herself hot drink but took a detour to check on the girls first. She was surprised to see that Jack's light was still on, the faint glow that escaped under his door illuminating the hall carpet. A tug on her sleeve startled her and she looked down to see a sleepy and tearful Jilly standing beside her. Taking her hand, she led her back to the guest room where they could talk.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"My daddy…"

"What about him?"

As she spoke silent tears trickled down her face. "If he doesn't go to sleep, will he get sick again?"

Giving her a sympathetic smile, Sue lifted her onto her lap. "Maybe, he's just not tired."

"He's always tired and sad... I want to make him laugh again and be happy but I don't know how." She sniffled and wiped her face with her hand. "Will you help me?"

"Jilly, I…"

"Pleease…"

"I'm not sure I can, sweetheart." As she watched the little girl's face got even sadder. "But I bet you could…"

"How..?"

"By being you…"

"I don't understand."

"Well, he loves you very much, right?"

"Yes."

"So show him you love him right back. When he's sad, give him an extra special hug and a kiss. Ask him to help you colour a picture… You had fun doing that when he wasn't feeling well and it made him feel better then, didn't it?"

"Mmm…"

"I know, since its Christmas, why don't you make him a card? He'll love that."

"Really..?"

"Of course he will."

"Okay," she yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Will you show me how?"

"In the morning... Now, you're going back to bed..."

"But…"

"Bed…"

"'kay…"

Sue carried her back to her room and bent over to tuck her in. "Good night. Sweet dreams."

The nightlight wasn't very bright but it was enough to read the youngster's lips by.

"Night, Sue. Love you."

Her eyes filled and she sniffled. "I love you too."

"And, my daddy..?"

"Jilly…"

"He needs someone to love him, Auntie Allie said so. I heard her talking to Grandma."

"Go to sleep, sweetheart."

She snuggled down in the bed. "I wish my mommy was here."

"You miss her very much, don't you?"

"Mmm hmm…" She nodded, putting her thumb in her mouth for comfort.

Leaning over, Sue kissed the girl on the forehead and quickly checked on Laura who was sleeping soundly. She noticed Jack's door was slightly open, whereas before it had been closed, but as she emerged from the children's room it was pushed shut again and the light went out

o-xxx-o

It was gone 8am when Sue got up the next morning, she'd fallen back to sleep quite easily in the end but had been surprised that Laura hadn't been in to wake her as she usually did. Walking into the kitchen she was greeted by the sight of her daughter sitting at the table eating her cereal and although Jilly and Jack were nowhere to be seen, there was a pile of clean laundry stacked neatly on top of the dryer and the washing machine was midway through a cycle.

"Good morning sweetie, why didn't you wake me up?"

"Jack told me not to. He made my bweakfast."

"That was good of him. Where is he?"

She pointed to the garden with her spoon and Sue crossed to the window to look outside, smiling when she saw him filling the bird feeders. Stepping back to admire his handiwork, he signed a '**good morning**' when he saw her watching and bent down to retrieve the bags of seed and peanuts from the lawn.

One look at his face when he came back inside and her heart went out to him. It was pale and drawn and his eyes were dull with the same haunted quality she'd seen after his nightmare. Turning away, she busied herself with a glass of juice, so he wouldn't see how upset she was.

"For someone who isn't a morning person, you've been busy. How long have you been up?"

Jack glanced at the clock, "A couple of hours, maybe."

By her reckoning, that meant he couldn't have had more than an hour's sleep but looking at him, she suspected even that was an over-estimate. Pulling out a chair she sat down, taking a sip of her drink as she tried to figure out the best way to tell him about her conversation with his daughter.

"Jilly and I had a bit of a late night chat…"

He sank down onto the nearest seat. "I know…"

"How much did you hear?"

"Most of the stuff in the bedroom... I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I heard noises and…"

"She's worried about you."

"I know that too, I just… Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday, I behaved badly. You and Laura are more than welcome to spend Christmas, if you still want to, that is? Although, I wouldn't blame you if wanted to get as far away from me as possible…"

"Sue, you're up," Jilly came running in before she could answer. "Don't forget you promised to help me today."

"Help you with what, JillyBean?"

"It's a secret, Daddy. It's for me and Sue."

"Really?" he managed a faint smile as he lifted her onto his knee. "We'll I'm afraid whatever it is will have to wait until later."

"Why?"

"Because, we need to go shopping... We have to buy a tree for indoors, decorations, food..."

"Presents?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Don't you think you have enough already?"

"No, you can never have too many presents, can you Laura?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Uh-huh, I smell a conspiracy… And, I have to pick up the mail."

"Are Sue and Laura coming with us?"

"We'd love to, if it's okay?"

"Daddy..?"

Jack nodded.

"I'll get my coat." She jumped off his lap and ran to the door.

"We're not leaving right away sweetheart, I have to figure out what we need first."

"'kay. Are Sue and Laura staying for Christmas?"

"Sue?" He asked hopefully.

Almost shyly, she took his hand and squeezed it. "We're staying."

"Yeah, it's going to be the best Christmas ever!"

o-xxx-o

To try and make it less boring for the kids, they'd split the day into sections. Jack had made his stop first and then they'd gone tree shopping. Even though they'd left it until the last minute, there had still been plenty to choose from and eventually they'd settled on one they all liked and arranged for it to be delivered the following afternoon. The decorations had come next, then the food, and finally they'd headed to the mall, stopping for something to eat before moving on to the more personal items. Jack had left Jilly and Laura with Sue while he did his present shopping and then taken over child-minding duty so that she could do the same. There had been so many 'kodak' moments during their expedition but one in particular had touched Sue deeply and it had her smiling as she put away their purchases in the kitchen cupboards.

When Jilly had managed to get a moment with her alone, she'd asked for her help to find something nice to buy her daddy and she'd wanted to get some glitter and glue for the card she was making. She'd given him some feeble excuse about needing to use the little girls' room and he'd offered to watch Laura while they were gone. She had to admit now she hadn't been sure it was a good idea because she didn't know how her daughter would react but catching sight of them together had stolen her breath away.

She'd seen him with his guard down often enough indoors as he played on the floor with Jilly but outside in public she'd expected him to behave more like the macho F.B.I. Agent who, when they'd been out on an assignment together, had almost died of embarrassment when she'd unthinkingly handed him her purse in the middle of the street while she answered a call. Yet there he'd been, pushing Laura along in her stroller so that she could look at all the things on the shelves and when she'd accidentally dropped Piglet, he'd crouched down to hand the toy back, teasing her with it and making her giggle happily. It wasn't until he'd straightened up again, painstakingly slowly and wearily, that she'd remembered how little sleep he'd had the night before. How he'd still been standing was a complete mystery to her.

Jack stood mesmerised in the doorway as he watched her face, not wanting to intrude on the thoughts that were giving her so much pleasure, but when her smile faded, he made his presence known, touching her arm gently to gain her attention.

"Need a hand, here?"

"Sorry?"

"I asked if you needed a hand."

"All done, except for those," she pointed towards the bags on the table that held the decorations and other paraphernalia. "I wasn't sure which ones you wanted to do yourself."

"Let's have a look, shall we?" Picking them up, he carried them into the living room. "Where are the kids?"

"Taking a nap…."

"Good idea."

"Maybe you should think about doing the same," Sue suggested taking in his pallor and the slump of his shoulders.

"I'm okay."

"You've hardly slept in the past thirty-six hours, you must be exhausted. I'm surprised you're still on your feet."

"Lots of practice," he sighed sadly.

"Jack…"

"Can you sort through this one, please?"

"Sure…" Shaking her head she took it from him, frustrated that yet again, when the conversation had taken a more personal turn, he'd swiftly closed it down.

The contents of the bag he'd given her consisted mainly of tissue paper, ribbon and other assorted wrapping materials but towards the bottom she found the mail he'd picked up earlier. Putting all the envelopes to one side she took out a cube-shaped package which weighed practically nothing and had fragile stickers on it.

"What should I do with this?"

Taking it from her, he looked at the return address. "It's Allie's writing."

"Maybe it's a Christmas present."

"I thought I brought them all back with me."

Finding another envelope she added it to the pile while he opened it and took out a piece of paper but when she looked up, she was shocked to see his face had grown even paler.

He quickly stuffed the note into his pocket and took out what appeared to be a Christmas bauble from the box. At first it just looked to be a standard tree ornament, designed to represent a snowball and covered with glitter to catch the light but as he turned it she could see it had something printed on it.

"Jack..?"

He remained silent for a few moments and then looked up at her, his expression giving nothing away, but his hand trembled as he passed it to her. "It's for Jilly… from Lisa."

Taking it from him, she carefully turned it around until she found what she was looking for; the image was a close-up of mother and daughter, cheek-to-cheek as they smiled for the camera. "What a wonderful gift, it's beautiful…"

"Yes it is." His voice was choked as he spoke but Sue didn't pick anything up from his face so she decided to broach something that had been bothering her.

"Jack…"

"Mmm…"

She touched his arm to get him to look at her. "Jack…"

"Sorry, I..." he broke off waiting for her to speak.

"Maybe you should invite her over?"

"I can't do that."

"Why not, Jack? It is Christmas and Jilly misses her so much. I'm sure whatever problems the two of you have could be put aside for a couple of hours. It would mean an awful lot to her…"

He closed his eyes momentarily and when he opened them she was shocked to see both hurt and a hint of anger in their depths. "You really think I'd be cruel enough to deliberately keep them apart? I'd move Heaven and earth to make that little girl happy, if I could."

"Jack, I didn't mean…" she reached out to him but he pulled away and when he looked at her again, there was nothing left in his expression but abject misery.

"I can't. Not this Christmas, next Christmas or any other for that matter… Lisa's gone, Sue. She…" he hesitated for just an instant "…died."

Sue stared at him aghast, her eyes filling with tears. "Oh Jack, I'm so sorry, I didn't know… If I had…"

"It's okay," he whispered sadly, regretting that he'd reacted a little too harshly. "Very few people do."

"Then, why..?"

"Not now…" swallowing several times, he dragged a hand down his face and walked to the door. "Take care of Jilly for me and please, don't tell her anything about this," he raised the box so she could see.

"Of course, I won't."

"**Thank you**." He held her gaze for a few moments longer then turned away.

o-xxx-o


End file.
